This one's going to be long. Consider it an addendum to the post I wrote earlier this evening. That one was shorter and to the point because I was on my phone. This one, well, I can let it all out now.

As I mentioned in my previous entry today, I took SD to get SO bday and father's day gifts because she did not remember either day. SD never once said "Thank you" for the favor either.

Now, last night, I let SO in on the 'secret' that I was taking her because I knew full well that he would be awake by the time I got home from work today and that it would be really hard to say I needed to take her to go get something that she 'forgot' to pack without him. So, he conveniently took a nice long shower this afternoon while I took her. She didn't thank me once the entire evening.

I let it slide for a bit.

We went out to eat and to a movie for SO's bday, his choice, even though I was not thrilled that SD would be skipping out on bedtime yet again - mainly because EVERY time she has EVER visited us, SO makes a big stink about bedtimes with her and, every time, she stays up past her bedtime. As I said in previous posts, I don't care if she's asleep or just laying in bed and reading or staring at the ceiling. Bedtime means her butt is in bed and she doesn't come out of that room until the morning unless she needs to use the bathroom or in case of an emergency. While out to dinner, SD was a rude little witch the entire time.

She's a vegetarian and complained about the fact that Red Robin didn't have a vegetarian menu. I nicely pointed out to her that, realistically, she could order nearly anything off of the menu and make it vegetarian by requesting no meat. Once upon a time, I was a vegetarian and that's how I got around going out to eat with friends at chain restaurants. I also told her that if I, a person with severe dietary restrictions can find something on the menu and ask for omissions to suit my needs, then she, someone who just does not eat meat, can easily find something and ask for it to be made the way she wants it. I pointed out a few wraps that sounded tasty without meat options. SO even pointed out that they have a veggie burger patty that she could substitute for the meat patty on any of the burger options. But, no. Princess Pants didn't like any of those options so she grudgingly asked SO to get her a kid's menu so she could order a grilled cheese sandwich with a side salad. Princess Pants in full effect, she can't bother to ask for something herself, she has to have SO do her bidding. *eyeroll*

At one point during dinner, she started doing the puzzles on the kid's menu with crayons and rolled her eyes. SO made a remark that the puzzles must be too easy for her and she looked at him and in quite the snot-ass tone said "Well, I'm bored!" SO suggested she talk to us, and, well, it just went downhill from there for me. She would chat with SO but anytime I tried chatting with her it was all rude. SO asked her about the purple streaks she had put in her hair recently, asking if it would bleed out while she was in the pool and she very politely told him that it was not that kind of dye but that it would eventually fade. I asked her if she's washed her hair since she had it done and if she has noticed any purple in the suds. She gave me a stink eye look and I said "well, I'm just curious because when I had purple streaks in my hair, sometimes a little bit washed out every time." She snottily replied that it would do that within a few weeks and I said "well, we just want to check to make sure you aren't going to leave a purple trail behind you when you go swimming at summer camp." Again, with the snotty replies, she said that it will never do that, it will only fade. She knows. So I just stopped engaging her for the rest of the dinner.

Luckily, I didn't have to sit next to her in the movie. But, I got reminded that she's being a snot-head Princess pants when she decided she had to go to the bathroom. She said "Excuse me" to SO and just pushed past me, so, when she came back, I preemptively lifted my legs so she could get by and wouldn't have to bother talking to me.

Also luckily, when we finally got out of the movie, I had to call my mom because I had told her I would call her around 9ish, but, it was already 9:30, I didn't want her to think I forgot about her, so I didn't have to engage SD during the car ride home, either.

When we finally got home, SO told her to go start getting ready for bed and I started unpacking my bag and put some of my blood-pressure snacks away in the cabinets in our kitchen (aside: I have postural hypotension and have to carry salty snacks in case I have an 'episode' while out and about). As I'm putting them away, SD comes into the kitchen with one of SO's gifts and his bday card and asks me where she could put it that she knows he will find it. I asked her why she doesn't want to just give it to him directly, so she can see how much he enjoys his gift? She rolls her eyes, says nothing, and walks away. I figured it was an appropriate question, but, apparently, SD thinks that questioning her is a big no-no.

At this point, I have had it so I let SO in on every bit of rudeness outside of dinner - all of that he was privy to witnessing yet remained blissfully silent during all of it, hm, go figure. I told him that she never thanked me for taking her to the store, I told him that she's been rude towards me all evening, and, I told him about the little exchange in the kitchen. I told him that I didn't think any of it was fair because it makes me feel uncomfortable to talk to her and be around her, which is going to make this weekend very uncomfortable because he works 12 hour shifts on Saturday and Sunday night. Not to mention, it is really unfair that I feel uncomfortable in my own house. I live here 365. She'll have been here, what, 37 days come the end of her summer visit? I should not have to spend 31 days on edge just because of an entitled brat letting her snottiness come out to play.

Without letting it slip that he was in on the shopping excursion, when she came to watch him open his card, he asked if I had helped her. She responded that she "guessed" because I drove her to the store, but that's it. (Damn straight that's it, you little brat. I wasn't going to be purchasing these things for you. I don't really give a flying f*ck if you had $40 when you came out here and now only have $4 because I already bought and presented SO with his birthday present). The tone was oh so charming too, I must say. I've heard her talk about things she hates with a nicer tone of voice than telling her dad that I helped her go to the store to get him something for his bday.

He then asked if she had thanked me and she said "Oh, sure I did!" in this really sugary sweet voice that made me throw up in my mouth a little bit. Now, I'm sure if SO had just taken her at her word, the rest of the evening (all twenty minutes of it) with her would have been smoother. But, he knew she didn't. So, he asked her if she was sure. Suddenly, her answer turned to "I think so" then "I guess not". Of course, SO lets her off the hook a little by suggesting that perhaps she had something else on her mind and it made her forget - no, SO, it is called a sense of entitlement and SD deciding that she's not going to do something that she doesn't want to do. SO told her that she needs to be more respectful, especially when someone does something nice for her because, when you aren't grateful of favors, the favors will eventually stop. She still never thanked me for taking her to the store, though, which pisses me off because clearly SO is wasting his breath.

Then, he sent her off to bed and she hugged him, said goodnight to him, said goodnight to the animals and, when I said goodnight to her, she rolled her eyes and walked away. So, SO called her out on it and she got a sour puss on her face and said that she SAID goodnight. He told her that since he didn't hear her, that she had to say it again. Sour puss got worse, she said goodnight, and, when SO asked her what was wrong she said "suddenly I'm just really tired" and sulked off to bed.

SO was floored by what he witnessed. He has never seen SD be so blatantly rude to me. He acknowledged that she was rude to me at dinner, and he apologized for his kid's behavior. He said something along the lines of "I don't even know who she is anymore" to which I gently reminded him that she has always had moments of rudeness like this with me, she's just been better at hiding it in the past than she is now. He told me that he can't spend the rest of the month like this because he is already exhausted and it has only been one day. He said he'll be addressing this behavior with her because he doesn't think she knows how to react/respond when someone calls her out on bad behavior (really, you think, SO? I've only been telling you this since, oh, 2010) but that it doesn't mean she can act like a snot just because.

Right now, I'm taking everything he has said to me as lip-service because I've not seen any action. Once I see action on his part, then, I'll accept that he's willing to stick up for me and make me more comfortable in my own home. It was so bad this evening that, during the movie, I started contemplating who I could go stay with for a week and still be able to go to work every day. Though, I will acknowledge and appreciate the progress that he has made because, truth be told, this time last year he would not have realized the problem with her behavior at all and may have even accused me of lying to him about her not saying thank you (or, at the very least, probably would have just told me that I didn't hear her). So progress is progress right? Even if it is a baby step?