Is this weird...or is it just me?

Came home Friday night and there was a note in BM's handwriting on my coffee table. DH was putting SD to bed so I picked it up and read it. It was the Serenity Prayer. Later that night, I asked DH about it. He said that SD was feeling anxious (she gets nervous/anxious A LOT to the point of feeling sick or not being able to sleep. Possibly an anxiety disorder?) so BM gave her the prayer to read when she felt that way.

Ok. I get that BM was trying to be helpful. But BM is in AA and I know that is what the Serenity Prayer is associated with. Also, BM takes SD to her meetings with her. Maybe it's just me but it freaks me out that she exposes SD to this stuff. And has her use the same "coping" tools as an addict. Does anyone know if this it is normal for addicts to bring their young children to meetings? Or if the Serenity Prayer is used by non-addicts for coping with anxiety? SD is taking the prayer to school and reading it there. I wonder what the teacher would think if she saw it.

I'm not trying to be judgmental. I just thought this was odd and wondered if I was way off base.

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I've never been an addict. I

I've never been an addict. I do have a severe anxiety disorder and I use the serenity prayer often. Depending on the age though, I'm not sure if I agree with her attending AA meetings.

Thanks. Good to know.

Ok, thanks. This is good.

THIS ^^^^^ I agree

Not sure. I've asked SD if

Not sure. I've asked SD if there are other kids there and she said no. I asked if she actually attended the meeting with the adults and she said yes and that it was boring and no fun.

Not sure what this means (she is 6). I know BM goes to a lot of functions (get-togethers, picnics, etc.) at the Token Club with other addicts that are not "meeting" related but SD actually uses the word "meeting." As in "I hope I don't have to go to a meeting with my mom tonight. It is so boring!" She's been saying this since she was 3. Not normal in my opinion. I would think BM's sponsor would tell her this is inappropriate though. But I am sure that BM plays the "poor, single mom" card and tells her that she has no childcare even though DH has offered to watch SD while she attends meetings many times. It really bothers him that SD is exposed to this. We drink regularly (wine with dinner sort of thing) in front of SD and he thinks it could be confusing to her. Not to mention the people/situations that she could be exposed to there.

Right! Geez.. Where are the

Right! Geez.. Where are the boundaries with these crazies?!

Yikes. This is my worst

Yikes. This is my worst nightmare.

I went to AA meetings with a

I went to AA meetings with a friend on a regular basis for a few years.. Pro support my long time friend. I do agree that the serenity prayer isn't only used for AA.

I never saw any children in these meetings and they were open meetings, hence how I was allowed to be ther for my friend.

How old is this child.. Maybe BMs trying to let the child see how these things effect people so badly? That's the optimist in me speaking.

I do think it's a little ( a lot) over the top for her to take the child to her meetings.

She is 6. Been attending

She is 6. Been attending meetings with BM since she was at least 3.

Side note.. I will give props

Side note.. I will give props to BM for going to the meetings in the first place. If my BM ever went I would probably stroke out.
BUT if she's doing doing it to mess up her child... She needs serious help.. Way past what AA can do for her.

Yeah, I hate to judge BM

Yeah, I hate to judge BM because she is doing what seems like the "right" thing. However, that being said, my DH does not believe BM has ever had a drug or alcohol problem. She had a mental breakdown several years ago and began attending AA when she was released from the hospital and moved in with her father (this is when she and DH ended their relationship and she moved 1000 miles away with SD). He thinks she uses AA to make friends and have people who support her unconditionally. She is BPD so this actually makes a lot of sense. It is easy to get people to believe your lies when you have a captive audience and they only hear one side of the story.

Anyway, I wish I could be more supportive of her but unfortunately, I think it is just a way for her to surround herself with damaged people who are easy to manipulate.

She will never get better until she gets help for her REAL problem - mental illness.

If the child is claiming that

If the child is claiming that she is bored by the meetings and not that they upset her then it sounds like she doesn't pay much attention to what is going on and/or doesn't really understand it anyway. It doesn't sound ideal but at least the BM is getting the help she needs and it doesn't seem to be affecting the child much right now (might be more so in a couple of years when she starts paying attention to what is going on and understanding what the adults are saying.) I would leave it how it is and keep monitoring if she mentions things that she would hear from there or if her anxiety seems to become related to the meetings.

Thanks for the input

Thanks for the input regarding the Serenity prayer. I feel better about that part at least.

As for SD attending meetings, we can't really do much about it. BM refuses to admit that she takes her and the court won't take DH's word for it because it is hearsay. So the judge would not allow us to add a provision for it to the CO. DH can only continue to offer to watch SD while she goes (she has never taken him up on this).

I just wanted to add that I have a few friends in the program and truly respect anyone who is making an honest attempt at getting their disease under control and keep their life on track. I don't like to talk to them about meetings however because some people take the "anonymous" part very seriously.

I am an alcoholic as many of

I am an alcoholic as many of you know, sometimes people bring their kids to the meetings and the kids sit there and color or play with a device or whatnot, but I've always felt so sorry for those kids. Some of what is discussed (jail, divorce, "losing it all" etc) shouldn't be something a kid should ever have to listen to.

The serenity prayer is not

The serenity prayer is not exclusive to AA. I use it all the time. They use the short version. The author of it is from a town in IL and they have a statue to him there. A therapist repeated it to me and I use it like a mantra... now the kid going to AA, that is wrong and I would be going to court over it. Very bad idea.

As long as it works, why not

As long as it works, why not use prayers? As for the meetings, I don't find it appropriate at all.

My step mom got sober in the

My step mom got sober in the 1990s and my half sisters grew up going to meetings. Guess what? They are both addicts who still intermittently attend meetings where they meet addict boyfriends. They heard their Mom talk about some horrible things she did and went through and it gave them a green light to 'It's all just a part of growing up.'

I would not allow a child to attend AA just because of that. This being said, I think it's a good program for adults. I think it's no place for children.

As for the prayer - if that makes her feel better then she should be able to use it. Anything that helps an anxious child, really.

I know that prayer is used

I know that prayer is used for anxiety. I think it depends on if there is child care there or not. I would be surprised if the other folks that run a meeting would allow a child to sit in and listen. Seems strange

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Is this weird...or is it just me?

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