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SGKids birthday party is over

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Submitted by apete on Sat, 10/16/2010 - 4:13pm

Well I managed to "nice" my way through the birthday party. SD was civil. Having my mom and sis here helped. DH did more than I expected and he's actually cleaning up most of the leftover mess. I think I survived.

I put a lot of effort into this though and SD did NOT thank me. Everyone else did.

Thanks for the support everyone.

Well, I'm still doing the "party"

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Submitted by apete on Fri, 10/15/2010 - 5:15pm

SGKs birthday party is tomorrow. I know most of you advised me against it. I am going to be TOO NICE. I went out and bought a nice cake, ice cream, ham and potato salad for dinner, a Princess chair and table set for the grandtwins, balloons, etc. DH had already bought presents so I didn't worry with that.

I am now enjoying a couple of beers whilst blowing up balloons. I am going to be the NICEST person in the world until my divorce papers are filed.

I advised my sis as to what's going on. Sis (age 57) and my mom (age 84) are coming over tomorrow. Sis knows the story.

My own failings

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Submitted by apete on Wed, 10/13/2010 - 8:04am

I’ve learned that I’m not alone in my feelings.
I’ve learned that some of this is my own fault; DH has been obsessed with his daughter all of her life and I should have put my foot down many years earlier.

Thinking about leaving...

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Submitted by apete on Tue, 10/12/2010 - 1:12pm

Well I sure can tell DH has been venting to SD. Last night he was SNORING LOUD so I asked him to roll over and he said "It's about time for you to get off this gravy train."

OMG I WAS SO MAD! This sounds just like something she would say.

Before that, I had told DH to make a list of what he needed for this big shindig we have to have for the sGKs. I thought a Halloween theme would be cute but he snapped, "It's supposed to be for their BIRTHDAY."

I'm learning a lot

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Submitted by apete on Mon, 10/11/2010 - 11:36am

I've learned so much just sitting back and lurking (though have posted a bit). For the past 20 years I have thought that it was ME, that MY feelings were wrong; DH tells me how much he has sacrificed for me but I have always put aside how much I have sacrificed for HIM and SD these last 20 years.

Update on the "birthday party" and not being grateful for step grands

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Submitted by apete on Mon, 10/11/2010 - 9:15am

Update on the SGC's (2 yr old twin girls) that I am "not grateful enough" for...their "birthday party" at our house has now escalated into a dinner for DH's entire family (my MIL, FIL, both SIL's and whatever parts of their family they choose to bring). My mom and sis were invited only after it was "approved" by my MIL who is depressive and had to "ok" whether she could be around my family or not.

Glad to have found you

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Submitted by apete on Fri, 10/08/2010 - 3:40pm

Gosh, after 20 years of being a stepmom and trying other forums, it has been nice to find this one. Most others just have folks telling you that you're wrong and shouldn't be frustrated!

Married SD's dad when SD was 7, never had custody but SD came over EVERY weekend, until her late teens when she had other things to do, then after she got married the weekly visits started again but this time mostly for free meals (taking SD and SIL out for lunch or dinner).