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apete's picture

Submitted by apete on Tue, 10/12/2010 - 1:12pm

Well I sure can tell DH has been venting to SD. Last night he was SNORING LOUD so I asked him to roll over and he said "It's about time for you to get off this gravy train."

OMG I WAS SO MAD! This sounds just like something she would say.

Before that, I had told DH to make a list of what he needed for this big shindig we have to have for the sGKs. I thought a Halloween theme would be cute but he snapped, "It's supposed to be for their BIRTHDAY."

I have stuck with this for 20 years. I hate to admit that the thought of divorce scares me. Losing my house which also houses my dogs really scares me; the last time we really talked divorce he said he would force me to sell the house and split the money. But at this point it sounds like SD has finally swayed him and I am in a never-win situation.

I really don't think I can deal with this stupid sGK birthday party this weekend. I really, really don't. I don't think I can handle any of it.

Nope I am NOT grateful for the step grands.

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apete's picture

Submitted by apete on Tue, 10/12/2010 - 1:48pm

Oops - about the house - we bought it (and it's paid for) 8 years ago, back when DH was actually interested in my dog breeding and showing. It's got a kennel building, and dog runs, and I could never replace what I've managed to build up here. WE bought it as a team, but he doesn't want to be a part of that team ever since the sGC's arrived. He used to go to the occasional show with me, but not ever since the SGC's

apete's picture

Submitted by apete on Tue, 10/12/2010 - 1:52pm

Probably should mention that there are 10 dogs...! Not easy to find this kind of zoning/setup Sad

The dogs were kind of a joint venture that he just got disinterested in when SD produced SGKs.

I guess that does kind of let him hold me hostage doesn't it.

apete's picture

Submitted by apete on Tue, 10/12/2010 - 2:09pm

Tried that - DH gets upset if I don't do the Every-Sunday-visit with the SGK's - which usually means taking SD, SIL, and SGK's, and occasionally MIL and FIL, out to Sunday bruch, then to our place afterwards.

Tried setting aside weekends that I would NOT show dogs but that is never enough.

We have a 2-BR house and I've had to set one of those completely aside just for the SGK's, though they have never spent the night. But it's filled with a brand-new trundle bed and new kiddie furniture and toys

And there's another SGK on the way...

I'm just waiting to hear something to the effect that we need to put on an addition for the up and coming SGK.

I used to enjoy the occasional visit with the SGKs but lately DH harps on what I say or do or don't say or don't do or shouldn't have done or should have done...

I think he is worse about the GKs than he was with SD and that was hard enough.

skylarksms's picture

Submitted by skylarksms on Tue, 10/12/2010 - 2:11pm

Sounds like he's upset with you anyway so do what YOU want to do. Don't let him dictate your life.

raggedyann1973's picture

Submitted by raggedyann1973 on Tue, 10/12/2010 - 2:03pm

You may lose your house now, but you could be living in a new (prolly smaller) place by yourself and have piece of mind. I fantisize sometimes about leaving DH and SD14 AND IT ALWAYS PUTS A SMILE ON MY FACE

GoodbyeNormaJean's picture

Submitted by GoodbyeNormaJean on Tue, 10/12/2010 - 5:47pm

Would it be possible for you to get an equity loan and buy out his half of the property? He can ask a judge to make you sell, but he can't necessarily force a judge to do that.

Most Evil's picture

Submitted by Most Evil on Tue, 10/12/2010 - 7:41pm

Please for God's sake refuse this party planning this weekend! that would just put me right over the edge.

Maybe if you start with refusing that, you will feel more confident to set his ass straight on the next item.

You don't have to split, if he wants to, let him do all that work too!! HUGS honey