I have/had a very healthy fear of my dad. We are not close per se, like OP and her father, but we are not distant either.

When I was little I used to be his 'little baby' ya know, but I was like 5. I was very insecure as a child and I tended to hang on my mom so my dad called me a marsupial. Then I became shit head, and then booger. I think it's still booger...

I would NEVER in a million effing years talk to my dad about my period, or any other female issue. Nor would he talk to me about his personal issues. I know very little about his childhood other than he was really poor, and he instilled in all of us to WORK for what we wanted, and I always have.
I never knew anything about his first wife other than my mom hated her guts.

I love my Da, he has always been my rock. I wish I lived closer to him so I could see movies or have dinner with him. When I call him we remember old times, talk about politics and old friends. He is home to me since my mother passed.

I grew up with a girl who would cuddle up to her Dad all the time, it used to make me uncomfortable. My Da and I would be around them a lot, our fathers were best friends. I once asked my Da if they were the way other father/daughters were, he looked at me and said....that was the way they were, not us, we are the way we are supposed to be. My Da then pontificated about being WASPs and we are genetically stoic...lol....he is a hoot.

The other father and daughter ended up not having much of a relationship when she became an adult. She's never been married, had two kids by two different men and they are grown now. She is with a man who is 20 yrs older than she. Daddy issues I guess.

Dad always worked weird hours (a chef) so knowing him came later. But he has always been my rock and my moral compass. I remember him calling me by a pet-name from the Netherlands (he is Dutch). He taught us how to dance by letting us stand on his feet while he danced. He taught me how to make choux pastry... properly from scratch. And I have just got off a 30 min skype talk with him in NZ. This distance sucks sometimes but skype makes it easier. He survived occupied Holland during WWII and immigrated half way around the world at 21 to an English speaking country. When I hear these whiney 20-somethings complaining about their phone not working I think back to my Dads history and just laugh. Baby, you ain't seen nothing yet.

My friend also had the same kind of relationship with her Dad. He was in the Navy and would be at sea for 18 mths at a time (in the 1960s)

Not great... he spent most of his time with my brother so I (non-verbally) was treated like I wasn't as important. Into my teenage years I saw him emotionally withdraw when I started becoming a "woman", like I was a stranger to him. Which at the time suited me fine, considering we had next to no foundation to build off.

Now we exchange pleasantries at holidays/birthdays etc. As far as his involvement with my life? A bi-annual email to chat about his new wife and her kids, catch me up on his latest vacations. I definitely am a statistic: tolerating shit treatment from men due to my own male role model being distant and emotionally unavailable. However, I am steely, and too much touchy-feely lovey-dovey helicopter parenting makes me kinda pukey.

I experienced the "healthy fear" of my dad as well. He's a great guy - we're just not that close. We weren't raised to be really touchy-feely so the mini-wife behaviour is so foreign to me. I would never discuss my sex life or periods with my dad. I don't think I even sat on his lap all that much growing up. We probably could've stood to be a little more affectionate.

I value so many things my dad taught me regarding hard work, how to behave, how to treat others, money management and the importance of education. He was quite strict but it didn't hurt me in any way.

Hmmm not so great. I was very close to my dad when I was younger before I realized he had such severe mental health issues. Now, I talked to him maybe 1x a month and see him even less. The sad part about that is that he lives right up the road from me. Surprisingly enough I don't have any daddy issues which you think i would consider I never had a strong male figure in my life other than my brother who is 7 years older than me... maybe that's what saved me? I don't like to disclose too much but my dad is a bad person because of his mental issues. The whole thing is very disappointing to me.

I never knew my bio dad, not even his name. I was adopted by my Dad when I was 6 months old because my bio mom abandoned me and my older sister. My Dad has been such a positive influence in my life, as well as my Mom. My bio mom gave up on me completely when she couldn't turn him against me or hurt me by saying she was his only biological child. We were still blood either way, and we had a bond like I was his own. Even now, after he passed, I still feel like he is there every day. And my Mom has grown to be more like a best friend now that I am older. My sister feels the same. I think about him daily and wear his thumb print around my neck as a reminder to be kind and compassionate, just like he was. I remember him letting his tenants barter tools for rent when short on cash and also giving them the car I wrecked because theirs broke down, it was dented and dinged but it drove. He had the best laugh ever, and the best outlook on life. He passed from genetic cirrhosis and never let the nasty comments some of his doctors and nurses made get him down, even though he was embarassed that everyone assumed he had cirrhosis because he was a drunk- he enjoyed his cocktails but always in moderation. The last thing I said to him on the phone was bye Daddy I love you, and he said, no not good bye- I'll see you later. I'll never forget that, or the joy he brought to every single person around him. As for my bio dad, I don't know, don't care or ever even want to know who he was. I know who my Dad was and I know the kind of person he inspired me to be and that is all I need ( except my Mom because she rocks too:))

I love my Dad. He's always been an amazing guy and supportive of me (and my sisters and brother). He was raised the old fashioned way and raised me to have some pretty high principals and standards.

Now in his very golden years, he suffers from heart issues and Parkinson's. But he's still a complete sweetie pie and I adore him.

My Dad was typical island-style parenting. Strict. Very strict. But he was also fair. I was a tomboy and was constantly getting into trouble for flying kites, spinning tops, playing marbles etc. I was given major hidings (including once where he knocked me out cold) for calling my Mom a bitch one day. He also had a soft side, and would take us for rides to get ice-cream.

Most weekends he would take us to the coast and while he conducted business, we would play on the beach.

I would NEVER dream of ever sitting on his lap, wrapping myself all over him, demanding him to buy me this or that and I certainly wouldnt talk to him about my periods or my relationships - that was just not appropriate.

He is in his 70's now and I visit him regularly, take him shopping as well as to his Dr's visits etc. I love my dad.

I don't get how daughters are with their fathers these days. I see how SO and SD are and I honestly feel like puking. It's just so screwed up. SO wrote SD a letter and he wrote "I think about you 1,000 times a day.. you're in my heart".. that just made me cringe - it reminded me of something lovers would say to eachother.. I know if I said that to my Dad - he'd probably be mortified and want to send me off for therapy!!

SO even sings songs to his invisible daughter (cos she refuses to visit)..songs that talk about endless love..because he misses her (I get that) ...but geez..my Dad would NEVER dream of saying that..instead he'd probably be pissed with my disrespect and come over to tell me straight..not write songs from afar..(sigh!)

I love my Dad. We just aren't as close as I would like for us to be.

When my parents divorced, he often chose going out to the bars, over picking up my sister and myself.

He was always around but not like a parent. I just didnt go to him if I needed something. My mom handled it all.

My dad married SM#2 when I was 16 and moved to her state. Shortly afterwards they took custody of her sisters daughter and now my dad had a "new" family. There have been sooooooooo many issues with my SM's family that my dad is constantly saving everyone and dealing with their b.s that I think at times he doesnt have time left for his "other" family.

I'm happy when we get to spend time together. We talk on FB or emails.

But in most ways he is more like a distant relative who I love very much but he doesnt really have any obligation in my life. Hope that makes sense.

wow. too painful to get into the current situation.

but growing up, i was definitely a daddy's girl. my family was never the huggy-kissy physically affectionate type, but he and i always had a special bond. i never laid all over on him, rubbed his feet or chin, wandered around half-clothed or anything like that, but if it was just the two of us he'd still hold my hand in public well into my late teens.

we all had a healthy fear of him and s-mom, and rarely dared to disrespect either one of them. his greatest "tool" with me was his eyes. he gave up spankings with me around 11 or 12- at that point it was enough for me to see the hurt or disappointment in his eyes, that was plenty punishment enough for me, i'd fall apart immediately. when i accomplished something he was proud of, i'd get a stiff hug and a "u done good, kiddo"- but the look in his eyes said far more.

thanks anon for making me weep like a baby at my desk. i miss him.

I saw my dad every other weekend from the time I was 8 years old. He was the "fun" parent, but not a Disney Dad. He and my mom were on the same page with parenting. My bother and sister and I weren't coddled or felt sorry for because our parents were divorced. We were held to standards. I liked my SM, and still do after 30 years. (It helps that my own BM isn't psycho!)

I never felt particularly close to my dad. He's a serious introvert and really not openly affectionate. I can not imagine hanging all over him, discussing my period and such with him, none of that. That being said, I know he's got my back. And I've got his. We're there for each other when needed.

Do I wish I'd been more of a daddy's girl? Sure. I never had a strong male presence or role model growing up. Maybe I would've made better relationship choices. Ah well.