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Blaming the Skids-also on the General Discussion Forum

Anon2009's picture

Submitted by Anon2009 on Thu, 07/04/2013 - 11:01pm

So many kids on this site and in society are being set up to fail because they got stuck with pathetic, pi$$ poor parents, and then so many posters on this site blame the kids for acting out. It just is mind boggling. I think that instead of being consumed with so much anger towards these kids, we need to direct that anger to the root of the problem: the "parents."

Comments

Willow2010's picture

Submitted by Willow2010 on Fri, 07/05/2013 - 7:25am

I rarely ever got mad at SS for his actions when he was under 17-18. He acted the way he acted because of BM and DH. Up to that age they are still being raised and guided by the parents. (Or at least they should be, but usually are not!)

I notice that a lot of step parents think that skids should be raised and done with and perfect by the time they are 3-4 years old. That is not the way the real world works.

RedWingsFan's picture

Submitted by RedWingsFan on Fri, 07/05/2013 - 9:35am

We've had this discussion many times and I agree that the parents fuck the kids up so they're not entirely to blame; however, when the kid reaches an age where he/she knows the difference between right and wrong and continues to behave poorly and blame it on the fact that they're a child of divorce - well that's where I draw the line.

I was a child of divorce too. I didn't pit my parents against each other or go for months on end ignoring my dad because my mom allowed me to get away with murder and he didn't. I didn't lie to either of them about the other (or any subsequent stepparents), I didn't try to ruin their relationships with other people, I didn't stab them in the back or hurt them repeatedly.

There's a difference with a lot of these kids nowadays, whether they're in intact or step families. No way on earth I would've been able to get away with a quarter of the shit stepdevil14 does. My parents would've had my ass!

Anon2009's picture

Submitted by Anon2009 on Fri, 07/05/2013 - 10:07am

I just think that some of the stuff that goes on between these parents and their kids is just gross, sick and causing severe damage to the kids that may take years to recover from. And when the parents stop doing that, we can't just expect these kids to act 100% normal, happy and a-ok with life. We can't expect these kids to fix themselves or be inspired to take big actions to do so when they have zero self confidence.

I would argue that dh (albeit unintentionally) hurt sd repeatedly and stabbed her in the back with poor parenting. And sd may not yet see that as the cause of her hurt but she does feel hurt by dh. So she likely feels she should hurt him right back. I don't think kids should have to be "the bigger person" when it comes to their problems with adults. Especially ones who have no self confidence and are so deep in water with their own issues, and who can barely even deal with those said issues.

I will never understand how the parents who do these things do not/cannot see just how badly they're screwing these kids up. I will never understand how these parents don't see that what they're doing to their kids is just...gross and bordering on perverted.

To me, it is no wonder these kids have so many issues.

whatwasithinkin's picture

Submitted by whatwasithinkin on Fri, 07/05/2013 - 11:24am

I agree somewhat but I dont even agree with the age of 18. By 14/15 years old and upon these kids entering highschool they are well aware of the difference between right and wrong.

As well as the difference between being respectful and being deceitful.