Hmm, don't know how else to call SS15 behavior. He got "mad" at DH before Thanksgiving because DH asked him to do his "chores" which really take 10 minutes out of his "busy" schedule. He is supposed to clean the kitty litter when he is at our house and finish clearing off the table at lunch and supper (I do most of it, but ask him to finish his dishes and the few other things on his table) Well BM told parenting coordinator he shouldn't have to do this since SS15 has homework and after school activities. Honestly the jobs take 10 minutes! Well he is being a typical teenager and is mad at his dad. He hasn't been to our house since before Thanksgiving even though DH has 50-50 visitation. His counselor and the parenting coordinator haven't told SS15 he is supposed to come to our house. DH was upset and told parenting coord his son is going to lose him because DH is tired of not being able to discipline ss15 and SS15 doesn't care that he is hurting and disrespecting his dad. Well now DH is doing what parenting coord told him, going to counseling and even anger management classes.
Anyway, now SS15 calls DH every night, is nice to him, but when DH says what time should I pick you up at school this Wednesday, SS15 says, well, BM is picking me up. DH has stopped asking him when he wants to come to our house.
The million dollar question is- why would SS15 be nice to DH on the phone but not come to our house? Especially since the kid is very religious, keeps a bible by his bed, goes to Catholic High school and is taught to respect his parents?? It is sad since Christmas and DH's birthday is coming up and I don't think the kid will come over.
A friend suggested the kids is tired of DH and BM fighting and BM probably gives SS15 a hard time for coming to DH house and SS15 is tired of being in the middle, even though a parenting coord is involved.BM has and always will be PAS she has no job, no life other than SS15 and going to doctors.
Needless to say, I have stepped back and do not give my 2 cents worth to my husband, it is now his total problem and he has the resources to deal with it, if he wants.
I do so much respect DH for going to counseling and anger management classes. But my heart hurts that this child who was nice to me and for the most part nice to his dad, is alienating his dad.