I don't know your situation, but I have a 17 y/o SD as well who did some of this playing people off each other to get her way. The only way it stops is if either all the parents get on board and confront her and hold boundaries or the ones who aren't on board back out. My SD's BM backed out....she'd waver back and forth between supporting us and supporting SD when parenting issues came up. In the end that was solved with an ultimatum...if she wanted BM's rules she had to go live with BM...BM didn't want her so backed out. As far as DH and I and her games, we had to get to a united front. He's still working on that part....but things got so bad between her and I that she actually ran away from home for several weeks. When she came back she was remorseful...and I pretty much spilled the reasons why I couldn't stand her that led up to the end confrontation. She has been pretty good since...doesn't have the power play thing going on so much anymore, and BM is completely out. Called her bluff and did a little 'get what you give' action...eventually it blew up in our faces. She was a disrespectful little sh.t...and yes, somewhat teenager typical, but I also have a BD 16 and would have NEVER put up with the behavior I did from SD for one second. We just get all caught up in trying to accept too much of the blame and make excuses with our steps...I think trying to make our DH's happy.

Wow, you're only 26 years old....

Are you SURE this is the kind of life you want to have? You don't need this drama!! I'm sure there are PLENTY of nice men out there who would LOVE to treat you like a queen rather than expose you to this chaos.

My guess is that BM started laying the law down, she wasn't getting her "way" anymore, so she thought she could work YOU guys. Apparently she is doing just that....

Amber, NO 16 year old should be "playing" her dad against his significant other. NO WAY, NO DAY. Your BF needs to step it up here, grow a pair of 'nads and put an END to her behavior. Period. If HE does not nip this in the bud NOW, I can promise you it's not just going to "go away" when she turns 18.

This is not your problem, this is HIS, and HE needs to solve it. NO WOMAN is going to put up with what you are putting up with. Put your foot down, insist that he put some RULES in place for his little princess, or I'd run like hell.

"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."-Eleanor Roosevelt

Im 26 and have been married 5 years. I wont say it gets easier without a lot of work. Im just saying try going into this with your eyes open. You already see how hard it is. I mean maybe if he is supportive of you and works with you then it would work and maybe get easier once you ease them into your rules and how you want your house run. Do that now. Dont start doing things you dont want to keep doing. Try to lay down the rules now and stick to them. Correct as much as you can from the outset and that should save you some trouble.

Sometimes you have to teach people how to treat you. I think I would look straight at her and say "I'm sorry you feel that way about me, however, it really is not your place to try and run your father's adult relationships with others as those things are up to him to decide. Furthermore, how does it make any sense to blame a third person for an argument you are having with a different person? I am sure you would not like for me to lay blame at your feet if he and I were having an argument. No one likes being blames for things they were not diret participants in, oh, and playing divide and conquer in other people's relationships is not tolerated in this house."

I wonder what would happen if you said that to her? Bottom line, you should not have to tiptoe in your own home. Is she paying bills and taking on most reposnsibilities for the household? Doubtful. Good luck to you.

Your BF needs to get on board with you...or it will never work. You can stand up to his daughter as much as you want...but if he doesn't...then she won't quit! Plain and simple!

Run amber, RUN REAL FAST. Find a man without children. Or wait until his two are up and out of the house. Then and only then will you and your future children have a chance at normalcy and happiness. Sweetie, think real hard on this one.