How on earth do you spend all day every day with a 3 year old and not know their potty cues?! BM hasn't had SD in daycare since they moved (it's too far, they don't have the gas, they are so broke without child support and if they get on public assistance BM has to get a *gasp* JOB! and wouldn't you know it's so unfair that if they go after DH for child support, BM will have to pay too since she doesn't actually have custody! What injustice!) and is confused as to why she isn't potty trained and BD2 almost is (BD told DH while we were there that she had to potty, but she didn't make it in time. DH still praised her for trying).
Let's see, I watched BD's cues, I learned them, I started giving a name to the sensation of having to go, I taught her to tell me when she felt that way, I taught her that we then go to the bathroom and sit on the princess potty, then wipe, flush, and wash our hands. I praise her every single time she even attempts to go. BM's strategy? "Well, if she ever went on the potty, I'd give her a snack pack of M&Ms."
(skipping the "seriously, you'd give her an entire snack pack of candy every time she went potty!?" vent)
WHAT DO YOU MEAN *IF* SHE EVER WENT?! I can get her to go on the potty at least a few times when she's visiting us!!! Her cues are ridiculously obvious! She gets fidgety and easily distracted about a minute before she goes. She isn't going to just potty train herself woman! Come on, step up and at least make it LOOK like you're parenting her!
Oh, oh, and, they give her juice/milk CONSTANTLY. She has 5 sippies in the 2 hours we were there. FIVE! That's almost a gallon of fluids in 2 hours! She SOAKED through 3 pull ups and didn't say a word! BM just called her over and changed her pull up and shorts while SD watched the TV and sipped on her never ending sippy.
BM complained to B on Sunday that we hadn't brought diapers for SD with us after she'd called and asked DH to buy some and he said "We don't have the money". SD's pull ups cost the same for 1 small pack as BD2's diapers cost for 1 week! I know, I looked! And if she's going through 3 in 2 hours... Sheesh!!! I'm not even going to go in that she said I was acting "cocky" and "better than" her and that she doesn't like that I come to visits. Tough, last time my husband thought to visit you on his own you tried saying he tried to have sex with you. We know better than to make that mistake again!

If SD's potty trained by the time she is in 1st grade, I'll be shocked. And at the rate she's growing, she'll be in Depends by then...