SD came for the weekend. DH picked her up Friday night and they arrived in time for supper. She made some faces about supper being yucky but we played a few card games and watched a movie and the evening went pretty smoothly. SD did talk back to DH a few times but given her age (12) I think that's pretty normal. At one point the kids were watching videos and I said that Justin Beiber kid looks king of girly, doesn't he? SD replied "NO, he's yummy, you're ugly and look like a boy". I sort of let it go just becuse I had insulted Justin, lol. I did say that's not very nice.
Saturday started out very good, we slept in and I took the 4 kids skating while DH started supper. After we got home the 3 bigger kids went downstairs and DH, myself and DD(2) were in the kitchen. I did hear something going on downstairs so I went down to see what they were doing. I saw that they were building a fort right next to the woodstove. I said that they had to move it at least 6 feet from the woodstove as it was going and I wasn't sure how far away was safe. DS(11) started to argue with me and I repeated that it had to move a bit away as I didn't want the blankets to get hot. He started to take it down so they could rebuild on the other side of the room and SD said "why did you say it twice" I said "because sometimes when I say something once you guys don't listen". She said "oh, I listen, just not to you!". I said " When you are in my house you will listen to me and this is a new beginning of you not talking back to me or destroying property in this house, I'm in charge now and I will no longer be tolerating your bull-sh1t". I did manage to somehow say it calmly but my childrens mouths were hanging open in shock that I would talk to SD like that!
I went upstairs and DH just looked at me (we have several vents in the house and a halfdoor to the downstairs in order for the woodstove heat to travel up). He had heard everything.
He called SD upstairs and said "If you are going to come here you do have to listen to SM. You also have to stop with the dirty looks and name calling". SD said "fine, then I'm leaving and I'm not coming back". She proceeded to pack everything and he told her she'd have to wait until after we ate and then he'd drive her home.
About 10 minutes after he returned home the phone rang, the number was blocked so I answered it. It was BM, when she asked for him I said he wasn't home yet so then she started yelling and I promptly hung up on her, lol. DH said "oh, who was that on the phone?" I said "b1tchface" (that's what we call her). He said "oh, I could have talked to her" I said "why, do you think she had anything to say that would be helpful?" He said "nope, you're right, lets enjoy the evening, if she calls again just don't answer".
I will say he's been in a great mood since. I guess he realized we actually don't have to take their bs and the world will not end.