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Most Disrespectful Thing I've Experienced As A Stepdad

2ndClassDad's picture

Submitted by 2ndClassDad on Sat, 10/10/2020 - 12:32am

Tonight I was shown just exactly where my place is within my small family unit and with my Stepdaughter. 

Tonight was her Band Night/Senior Night. Typically what happens is the Seniors get to do basically a runway walk with their parents as the announcer reads off a statement written bu the Senior about their College goals and who they want to thank. It started when my Fiance let me know that I would be watching things from the stand cause her daughter only wanted her with her for this special occasian. That hurt but I wasnt surprised as I've only been a source of gifts and her personal Maid/Cheauffer/Buttler/Cook/Waitress and nothing more. Thing that hurt next was her Nana was there for Senior Night too. When they caled for parents top come down to join with their Senior for the festivities and my Fiance went down. Nana (my Fiance's ex-husband's MOM said to me, "I thought you'd be going down there too?". To which I informed her that, "Her grandaughter told her mom she only wanted her down there." Her Nana then called her a little shit for doing that to me. When it came time for my Fiance and Stepdaughter's turn, My stepdaughter thanked her closest friends and her mom for always being supportive of her. I wasnt even an after thought. I have literally wasted 22 years of my life just wanting to be a Dad and the closest I have gotten is being the personal slave of my Stepdaughter!

I absolutely HATE MY LIFE 

Comments

Kes's picture

Submitted by Kes on Sat, 10/10/2020 - 1:28am

You posted in a similar vein in May of this year - we all said at the time - why is this woman your fiancee?  5 months later - I am surprised that you are still referring to her as your fiancee, if, as you say, you hate your life and your stepdaughter.  Why are you still there? 

SeeYouNever's picture

Submitted by SeeYouNever on Sat, 10/10/2020 - 4:24am

You'll be expected to pay for SDs wedding without acknowledgement too. Either cut her off or get out while you still can.

SMto3's picture

Submitted by SMto3 on Sat, 10/10/2020 - 4:48am

This was hard to read, it's just so painful the reality of the stepparent. I know that as stepmoms we usually get treated this way so it's almost surprising to see that it happens to men too (only because men are not usually looked to as a source of "mothering", "waitressing" etc). I've always been a little jealous of stepdads because I feel like I can easily work and pay bills without the expectation or responsibility of blending a family. 

shamds's picture

Submitted by shamds on Sat, 10/10/2020 - 5:17am

Or sacrifice my time and energy for my waste of space pathetic skids. Ss bragged how i was his maid and should clean his mess because after all i was a stay at home housewife. Hubby told him off i was his wife and not a maid for lazy bums.

i have been called a stranger along with my 2 young kids as justification why ss can ignore all of us and treat us like shit. My kids are stepkids half siblings.. 

6yrs in and i checked out fully 2 yrs ago. Never again will i be suckered in to giving in to these 3 rejects

tog redux's picture

Submitted by tog redux on Sat, 10/10/2020 - 5:29am

Has she been good to you all these years, and is just now starting to shun you? Or have you allowed her to treat you poorly for 22 years?  There's a lot of  you feeling like a victim, when in reality, you chose to be maid/butler/chauffeur etc for a child whose mother you weren't even married to.  You chose to put in 22 years doing this, and apparently you expected some reward you aren't getting. 
 

Bio parents sometimes put in 22 years of hard work only to be treated like dirt as well. This isn't exclusive to step parenting. But in this case, you had a choice to stop waiting on this child hand and foot, and you didn't. 
 

Time to pick yourself up, own your choices, and get on with life. You weren't a victim, you were a volunteer. So decide if you want to continue volunteering or not. 

Cover1W's picture

Submitted by Cover1W on Sat, 10/10/2020 - 11:18am

Yeah, YSD did something similar at age 12/13 at an event.

I was invisible and did not exist. I was so angry I had to wait outside while all the families gathered. DH came out and I told him why, he agreed but we couldn't make a scene right then.

I told him no more favors from me if she doesn't thank or acknowledge me and my help that allowed her to do this. I never got a thank you in the end so DH let it slide. And I didn't help again with that activity.

 

Peach's picture

Submitted by Peach on Sat, 10/10/2020 - 12:00pm

What did her mom have to say about that?  She should be supporting you.  But, it is not worth it, cut them off. Don't do them any favors.