You are right, it's not fair.. but unfortunatley it's the life of a SM... I can't tell you the number of times I have gotten upset, because I feel like our life has to revolve around BM and her problems and what SHE wants or needs... but really what is my hubby to do? He is trying to do what is best for his son.

Since you have a son, do you ever think about what you would do if it was your son in the same situation? Let's say your ex could not get your son to school everyday because of work or whatever and asked if he could drop him off with you so? Would you say no and then have your ex resort to leaving him with a neighbor or somebody else?

I am not trying to make light of your situation.. again I know how insanely frustrating it can be to feel like you come second or third.

What if you sleep over his house that night of the week? then it wouldn't interupt your morning so much. Just a thought. It's not an easy thing cause you have to look at it from both sides. However, I think if you feel you are being "put out" or made "second best" "last on the list" then you need to think about the relationship in it's entirity and really figure out if this is acceptable for you to live with or if you need more.

I disagree that this is not her fight. She moved out to get away from the drama and he just keeps pulling her back in. You need to set your boundaries and not back down. If this man wants any future with any person not just you he is going to have to learn how to make them a priority as well as his children. What totally amazes me is that while our DH or BF were with their ex's they had no trouble allowing them to be the primary caregivers but as soon as they are no longer a couple, guess what, they just are not responsible or good enough to do the simplest things that are required of parents. Such BS. You need to sit him down and explain to him how you feel and tell him if he can't make you a priority then he needs to leave you alone and let you move on with your life. Do not allow this man to treat you like a booty call when it is convenient for him. I have been in that position and all it does it make you more insecure about yourself. Make your boundaries and stick by them. Oh, and believe me, all the nay sayers that tell you the children come first are full of that same BS. If you do not make your partner your top priority, when your kids are grown and gone you will be one lonely old man!!!!!!!

I am going to say to you what i have to say to myself over and over: It is most likely a temporary situation. kiddo (ss5) 's bm is very, let me stress this, very erradic...though predictable. She goes through phases, she says and does things to push buttons and raise blood pressure, she is in and out - some times visiting with kiddo every other saturday, sometimes not seeing him for months. So when, this past week, she started going on about how kiddo was going to come live with her and there is nothing we can do about it (again).. i came on here, let off some steam, and kept telling myself that this has happened before and it will happen again; that she cant really do anything like that..etc. I have a feeling that that situation will simply not work out. The kid will get older, job schedules will change if not the jobs themselves, your guy will say look, this isnt working i cant work all night and then get up at 6 am.... you get the idea. Its temporary and these things usually work themselves out. Your guy will most likely get tired of it and want to spend time with you before the job changes etc. happen. Just take deep breaths and see how it plays out. One day at a time, remember.