A little history:

My relationship with my mother deteriorated in my teens. She made it clear how much she hated my father (although do see why) and when she would get angry with me would tell me I'm just like him. She refused to participate in counseling with me because "she had other children that needed her time." I was a pain in the butt, but nothing crazy and I obviously was acting out due to the repressed memories of sexual abuse from my biological father as well as the way she dealt with it.
She sent me away twice to live with family members. She wanted nothing to do with me as I became an adult. She doesn't acknowledge my son (her first and only grandchild) either. She has now shut all my aunts (her sisters) out of her life and is even rude to her parents. She's anorexic, an alcoholic, and angry at the world. The only thing she seems to care about is what outsiders think of her. She is wrapped up in her image yet deprives my little brothers and sister of knowing their family due to her bitterness. It's really sad. I've accepted it, but I'm not OK with it. She also has three children with my Stepdad and I love them dearly. Unfortunately, due to her obvious illness, I don't have the relationship I'd like to nor do I feel I see them enough.

I got a call from my StepDad today (I call him Dad though). He was wondering how I was doing in my pregnancy.

I asked him how he was dealing with my Mom. He told me he asked her to stop drinking and she agreed to go to counseling. He told her she had shut everyone out of her life and he didn't need to go to counseling with her because she's the one with issues. He told her there is something very wrong with a person who disowns their own child (Thanks Dad!). I'm not even his biological daughter and he made it clear he would never disown me, even if they divorced. Hearing him say this made me feel happy he cared enough to say this, but sad that my own mother has to be convinced she needs to love her daughter.

She had three sessions and told him it was a waste of time. He figured this would happen and she probably wasn't truthful with the counselor anyway. My Stepdad smelled alcohol on her breathe and when she denied it, he found her hidden bottles. He told me divorce could be in the near future, but he needs to make sure he has the kids. It might sound crazy but I hope he gets the divorce as well as custody of my brothers/sister. I know they'd be better off that way (they wouldn't be secluded from family or in danger of her drinking problem) and I'd have a better chance at a relationship with them. Everyone in my family thinks she's a hopeless case. Example: Due to my mother's cold behavior, my grandparents e-mailed my StepDad asking when a good time to see the kids was. She intercepted it and e-mailed them back (my grandfather is 87, mind you) saying: You do NOT go through my husband, you go through me!) My Grandad e-mailed her back saying "We go through him because you don't make us feel welcome in your home." (When anyone ever visited, she would go in the other room) My mother has shut almost everyone out that has questioned her shutting me out. I guess she's mean to my grandparents because they refuse to agree with her that her sisters are wrong in trying to give their opinion. Really, it's extremely sad an childish. And the fact that my grandparents may not have many years left, makes me wonder how she lives with herself being so petty and angry.

Anyway, what a crazy world where I have a relationship with my Stepdad and none at all with my Mother. I might not like my stepson but I know my husband would never disown him, and I would be apalled if he did. I just want my husband to step up in raising him right. I remember in the beginning my Stepdad was stricter than my Mom. I didn't like it, but deep down I knew he cared. And look who's still in my life!

Love to my Stepdad!