My SS11 is going to visit his Mom for 6 weeks as soon as school gets out. She lives out of state. From what I understand he has plans to go to the beach with her. Anyway, this is our second summer living together without being close to the ocean. Last summer we all flew out to his Mom's in FL. This year we are avoiding that because we are trying to pay off our medical debt from my youngest child's birth as well as some credit card debt. Anyway, I'm from Chicago, about a 7 hour drive from here. I suggested we drive there since their beach lakes are decent. We would stay with family members of mine. His response "Yes. We'll go in August." The end of July is when my SS11 gets back. My response was. "Right. Because that's when SS1 will be back. And we can't do anything without him."

I have never had a vacation . . . big or small with my husband and our own children, without SS11 being there. Even when SS11 is with his Mom for weeks on end. I understand when visits with his Dad or Mom or sister have to be in sync with him, because they want to see all of their grandchildren. But is it "normal" for me to want to be able to take a small vacation to my hometown and visit my family when my SS11 is not here. He's enjoying his summer to the fullest, why can't I enjoy mine to the fullest?

If anyone has read my older posts, this isn't the first issue. This is an ongoing issue. There's many things about my SS11 that I don't like, and I'm starting to realize the seriousness of my growing resentment for my husband. I used to focus on my SS11's selfish, cruel, and lazy behavior. Now I focus on how my husband enabled that behavior (well the selfish and lazy part) as well as expected less out of him than our 4 year old and treating SS11 differently. He will go all out to make sure SS11 birthday goes smoothly, but never helps with our sons birthdays/activities as well as drops the ball when it's my day. It hurts me to see him only passionate with SS11. I know some parents secretly have favorites, but you don't show it, especially when your favorite is not your wife's child, the wife who is raising your son while the BM is a deadbeat. I feel like I'm used by my husband and SS. Yet we have two kids of our own, how dare he play favorites! That's just how I feel. I feel like as long as I feel I'm unappreciated and my SS11 is the favorite, this marriage will be miserable or we're headed for divordce. I'm curious to see if others think I'm irrational. I'll answer anything to clear up any questions in order to get an informed opion. THanks!