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why do i do this

12yrstepmonster's picture

Submitted by 12yrstepmonster on Thu, 08/04/2011 - 12:18pm

So I am having a problem wrapping my head around why I keep extending the olive branch.

Sent a txt to SS asking for decal info that his activity might sell- not even a response. And I really don't know would have been better than nothin.

Sent Sd. A text asking about when she was getting her wisdom teeth out since we were trying to arrange dinner. Nothing

Then BM asks if DH could help with SS transportation.... He couldn't I said I would even though it meant tAking my lunch from 330-430 - I get it all arranged and then get a message through DH that SS has made other arrangements.

The proper thing to do BM - Send the SM a note saying thanks for your effort but this got worked out instead. What it looks to me is that mmy offer is unimportant to you.

Sorry my complaint for the moment is trivial in comparrison to many- just tired of being their kicking dog.

Comments

VioletsareBlue's picture

Submitted by VioletsareBlue on Thu, 08/04/2011 - 1:02pm

I used to offer to do all kinds of stuff too. Not anymore. Especially since the Orc won't acknowlege my presence or anything so I'm doing nothing that will make her life easier.
Doing something for the kids if they really need it and DH can't do it is different, but they live with us and say "thank you".

KatDarling's picture

Submitted by KatDarling on Thu, 08/04/2011 - 1:16pm

Agreed. I like to help people, I like to enjoy a person's company and I am nice. When I do something nice for FSD it's pisses off BM to no end. I have pretty much given up on being nice to BM and FSD because it causes more grief than anything else. Who are these nasty people and how did they end up in my life?

Auteur's picture

Submitted by Auteur on Thu, 08/04/2011 - 1:53pm

Exactly. If kindness is not reciprocated; if you are treated as a doormat and taken for granted; if you are treated as a personna non grata, then DISENGAGE!!

Ancient Asian Proverb:

SM who extends olive branch to psycho BM and entitled skids will pull back a nub.

12yrstepmonster's picture

Submitted by 12yrstepmonster on Thu, 08/04/2011 - 3:13pm

I'm so tired of being told we are unsupportive, unwilling, and just plain jerks.

12yrs of the same crap AND I haven't learned. AND I have only re-engaged with sd after she started college and it appeared she was making an effort. But she is very closed about things and wants the decisions as an adult but not the rest. In general we have been on a healthy tract of re-estblishing. Until I ask her something that is not my business. Or in this case BM asked us to pay for our percentage even though she hasn't met her threshhold.

SS is being 14 he has done a total withdrawl from DH.

I just keep thinking BM will get a grip and realize you playing nice means more.