I am no longer angry as much as dissappointed
I sent a message to a sk today with no response....that used to make me angry. I think now it just makes me sad that we try to inextend the olive branch and it feels like it is nixed immediately.
All members of my family miss out because of this divide...
It just makes me sad for all "players".
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Word from someone who's been
Word from someone who's been in your shoes..DON'T BEND OVER BACKWARDS..they DON'T APPRECIATE YOU.. it took me sooo long to figure that out..I stayed very hurt and very angry for a long time..it was even harder because I had two kids of my own..and anything my husband would bring up about my two, I would throw up his daughter in his face..it doesn't work either way..my daughter has hurt my husbands feelings just the way it is..and my husband has hurt my son's feelings..its such a difficult situation.. all you can do is DEMAND RESPECT..they don't have to like you and you don't HAVE TO CARE IF THEY DO..the minute you began to just not care, you have let go and moved on and it just doesn't bother you anymore..I DO LOVE MY STEPDAUGHTER..I chose to and I do..but I DON'T LIKE HER WAYS.. I don't even like my own daughter or son's ways so that's just how it is..funny how you can tolerate your own better than you can a child that's not yours..I just always treated her like one of my own and it has been a good seed sown..because what I reaped is peace..
sml
Actually I do love both my
Actually I do love both my skids. And will always treat them as my own. I have disengaged primarily from them.....now I simply do what I would do for my own kids thru my DH.
I remind him to send texts, to call, to check up. I remind him of things coming up and try to be very careful. If anything is bought it is usually "his suggestion"......
I hope one day to reap what I have sown.....and if not I hope DH reaps what I have sown.
But today it just makes me sad.
Stepaside, Been there
Stepaside,
Been there too....SD21 last bday oct I picked out her gift.....ugg boots and lulumon yoga gear. I mailed off the package along with a check from DH and I.
I never so much as got a freaking text thanking me BUT she called DH and went on and on about how wonderful her gifts were and how much she appreciated them. dH told her " you need to tell hate copycats. you appreciated the gifts...she picked them out"
Never heard a word....so Xmas she didn't get a damn thing from either dh or myself. It also didn't help that she called her stepdad she has known a year ddddddaaaaddddyyyyyy....pretty disgusting!
What 21 yr old calls anyone ddaadddyyyy??
Haven't heard from her since October and neither has DH and personally I'm so happy about that.
Same here. I sent a message
Same here. I sent a message to ss a week ago. This was after he told his dad he wanted to come and stay the weekend with us in 3 weeks (me and my kids, not dh as he is out of town). This was an abrupt change as he has always maintained he wants nothing to do with me.
So I sent him a message asking him if he could explain the change of heart. Truly a genuine question. I didnt tell him he couldn t come or didnt want him here-I just wanted him to tell me why he changed his mind. I also told him I hoped that he would think about somethings that caused problems in the past so that those things dont happen again.
Nothing. I got no reply whatsoever. I'm not particularly angry either-perhaps at myself as when he said he wanted to visit I got myself in a twist about it when I should have known it was just some sort of game and he really had no plan to follow thru. I am sad for my kiddos sometimes-overall I think they are better off without him, but at the same time I think it is sad that they have this brother out there and wouldnt it be nice if they could have normal sibling relationships with him.
Same here, I find it
Same here, I find it disgusting how rude these skids are when it comes to issues like this. I stopped reaching out. I sent flowers to SD when she moved into her new home and never got an invite to her house until SO finally got me invited 7 months later. It's pathetic.
Tell me, do your skids ever acknowledge your birthday, even by text? Mine never have even after SO asked them to! My birthday is a week after his, so no excuse. Meanwhile I was sending gifts, doing everything but no more. It just makes us look a fool.
Yep, not so much as an
Yep, not so much as an acknowledgement ever about my b-day. Even though I've showered both SD's with gifts for b-days and Christmas, Easter, "just because".......you name it.
NO MORE. DH has gone back to his old ways/traditions of what he gives them, and I am completely disengaged. He sends the cards with only his name, and that is SANITY for me.
I made it VERY CLEAR to the OSD, "my $$ is my $$, and I choose how to spend it....you know how much your daddy makes, and it's no different than when you lived with him.....I am sure he will do the best he can for you, but that will be it.....he has our bills to take care of"
Boy.....that really pissed her off. LOL She thought I was a package deal, and my income now belonged to her. NOPE BITCH!!!! I have my own responsibilities and my own kids to take care of. I didn't marry you, I married your father. You aren't going to intimidate me like you've done to him all his life.
Acknowledge Birthday??? Now
Acknowledge Birthday??? Now that is funny!!! I've never been acknowledged by any of the 4 skids for ANY birthday or holiday. I have never even gotten a card for Christmas.
My ss is only 13-so he's not
My ss is only 13-so he's not an adult yet-but no he doesnt acknowledge my bday, didnt acknowledge me at xmas, nor mother' day. I shouldnt complain he doesnt acknowledge his dad on his special days either. I do not acknowledge him any longer on his special days either. He will actually turn 13 in a couple of weeks-he's not talked to me in almost 5 months. So, yeah, whatever.