is what I think it is. Subconsciously or not she is making sure that she is still daddy's girl and has not been replaced by you. I experience the same thing. DH is uncomfortable with the hanging on and huggy, much like a two year old does. But apparently not uncomfortable enough to stop it.

I think it is weird. I didn't do this to my dad, nor do my girls do it to their dad or step dad. My nuclear friends kids do not do it to their dads. My one friend who has a SD15 has complained about this. I think it is a SD thing. She like my SD, act like mini wives.

In addition to the affections, I have the rearranging my stuff, decorating the house. My girlfriend was out of town for a week and came back and had the whole kitchen rearranged and her SD said NOW this is the way we are going to keep it.. right daddy???

This is waay unhealthy!!

from a week ago...there was a lot of talk about this. It is very common, I'm afraid. I know my BF's daughter (13) does this. I did have a talk with him, and he is going to talk to her about appropriate behaviour at different ages. What was once appropriate might not be when you get older. Anway, one poster said her SD spoons with her dad and he is naked. That was way over the line for me. Your DH needs to have a talk with her because if it comes from you, it won't work..she will only get mad and it will probably get worse. He needs to see that this is not appropriate, no matter how much he loves his daughter. They are not 'mini me's' of their step moms. She is definitely jealous. In fact my BF says his daughter ONLY does it when I'm around. I told my BF I don't feel like stroking him anymore...because it freaks me out that his daughter is touching him in the same place...such as the inside of his arm or back of his neck, etc. Makes me not want to touch him after I've seen her doing this. You and your DH need to talk.

Wow, that was so much like my SD. I have always felt like 'the other woman' with her. She has always acted like a wife to my husband, sitting around talking about stuff that she has no business knowing, planning things, talking about the other children, worrying about what he eats. She even bitches at him about things that I wouldn't!! I think that she stepped in right where her mother left off and when I came along she was pissed. She hasn't gotten over it, and he still doesn't see it, he actually told me once that everyone gets along when I'm not there. DA! she can be the wife! She takes over the house and has the nerve to use everything of mine without asking, she is constantly in my room. I hate that! I am quite private. Good luck with your SD I hope that your DH is more open to working on the issues than mine is

Hi

I am not good putting things into words and explaining things.

I am a 25 yr old SD and would like to say becareful how you deal with situation.

She wants attention and from her dad and maybe she wants to make you jealous and it sounds like its working. You got to imagine if she is 13 her hormones are running wild. I also wanted to be close to my dad and was close to him which I think my step-mum hated. Also I will say this though she use to keep saying that when I am I am older I would not want to hang round him anymore. This is true but remember at this age do any teenage girl know what love is between a man and woman or a father's love? If you say to yourr partner that your Sd and is creepy and he stops this. Then as she grows old going to school she will start looking for attention in boys. She will not love that boy like a boyfriend but because of the atttention she got from her father she will look for that in a boy. Which from experience she then will eventually maybe start doing things she shouldn't be.

All I am saying just tread carefully make her feel your not talking her dad away or trying to come between them. She will grow out of it and when she does get a boyfriend it will feel right for her and she will know what love is. Then she will still be close to her dad but not as close.

Sorry what I am saying is she will be looking for attention in boys for a father figure she will not like that boy because its her first crush or first love. Its because her father not gives her the attention she wants from him. Which can cause girls to do things like having sex and which this not really want they want just attention from dad or mother. You can involved in this like this and end up pregnant. Looking back when I was 8 I had this crushes on boys and stuff didn't know what love was but thought I did and realise the attention I was yearning was my father not from a boy. I just wanted affection from my father just a cuddle. When your in you teens depending if you start to know what the difference between real love between a girl and boy then yes having crushes can turn to love. I personally still kept yearning for my father love not a boy and got involved in things I shouldn't be. By the time i was 20 maybe and knew about love and met someone and actually felt that love for a man and woman and no longer yearned for my father love. I had a close relationship with him but knew the difference. Do you get me again lol. Teenage girls look for attention and want to feel loved by their parent like father living apart from them. Nothing really to worry because if you had a daughter with your husband she would do the same. Your seem jealous of the lack of attention he is showing you but it's not her fault. Father and daughters will always have a bond and that is that not matter what she will be his number one. His daughter not his woman because your his woman. He loves you both in different ways.

What a hard time a lot of you are going through, some things I myself haven't experienced thankfully. I almost feel I have no right to rant.
I'm a weekend SM of 4 years. My SD was 9 when I came on the scene and had been a 'little madam' all her life apparently, telling her father 'Daddy I do what I want' when she was three and living up to it from then on. When I arrived she was pleased as she wanted her father to have a girlfriend as she felt that was fair as her mother had a new husband. Her mother left the family home when she was 6 and her brother 7 and is very much part time in their lives.
My SD has always been difficult never mind if I'm there or not. She has always dominated the house with her moods, her behaviour, her tantrums, her rages, her violence to inanimate (so far) objects (punching holes in the wall, smashing mirrors and lately graffiting her entire filthy bedroom with swearing and aggressive language) The world has always had to revolve around her, she does as she wishes, when she wishes, suffers no remorse or guilt, refuses to take the consequences to her actions and despite punishment for her behaviour will continue without giving an apparent damn. She refuses to co-operate for the most part in the house except when she chooses and then will go way over the top. She is now 13 and has taken herself off (twice in the last 2 weeks) 100 miles away to the coast to be with undesirable young people, both times her father having to call the police and report her as a missing person; she has been verbally abusive to her school teachers and escaped school one day and set fire to some items ending in another encounter with the police (who incidentally in this 'politically correct' world are completely soft). She leaves home in the middle of the night, to go wondering in her pyjamas, steals her fathers mobile, runs up huge phone bills on the landline, cares nothing about the fact that he is now working part time due to illness. She loses friends the minute she makes them, terrorises her brother and abuses her father verbally and behaviour-wise. She steals money, gets cigarettes and sells them at school, marches out of class and generally is a drama queen. She can however at times be good fun and has a good sense of humour. She is a bright girl. And she has morals when it comes to other people's behaviour, knows right from wrong except in her own existence.
Her father has recently been diagnosed with cancer and she knows that it's so important to at least be somewhat co-operative so that he suffers as little stress as possible, but she is becoming worse and more abusive.
She's been sent to counselling but manages to pull the wool over the counsellor's eyes as she is a very good little actress.
I have a strange relationship with her. I've been there every weekend for 3 and a half years and we've been on summer holidays together. But I am not at all close with her, in fact I find her very unlikeable, as do most people, despite her redeeming qualities. I've never felt this way about a child and get on with kids in general. I don't feel I'm in a position to discipline her but would like to as I've had experience with a lot of children, including my own son, and have an instinct as to some of my SD's needs which I feel aren't being met. But I don't want to tread on her father's toes as I'm only a part-time SM, if that. So I keep my mouth shut and feel very frustrated and angry with her a lot of the time. I do tell her off when she is rude to her father, or is screaming at him. Mostly I just witness her selfish, appalling behaviour. I also feel angry with my partner who changes the goal posts with her a lot, sets up boundaries then isn't consistent (when he's had a few beers which is every day to numb out his problems) and shouts back at her which I find over the top at times. Sometimes I can feel sorry for her but it's very difficult to help her - she is a very powerful, overwhelming girl of 13, very large in size and buxom and she can be scary. And it's so wonderful when she's not in the house, the dust settles and it all feels so calm and normal. Oddly I don't feel she hates me but at the same time she doesn't want to be close to me. I don't even feel her resenting me for being in her house at the weekend, sometimes we've even nearly got on! Her biological mother hardly sees her, but then that is also down to my SDs changing moods of love and hate towards her. Her mother was also very problematic as a child and remains difficult.
She's about to have further counselling with a team of counsellors, not just one, so it will be harder for her to pull the wool over their eyes. A pyschologist friend of mine says she may have a borderline personality disorder which remains to be seen.
All in all her behaviour and attitude has made life so very difficult for everyone close to her and for her father's and my relationship. I am ready to throw in the towel because of her but could not desert my partner at this difficult time because of his cancer. Life is like a soap opera at the moment.

"To Thine Own Self Be True" William Shakesphere

This all sounds wayyyy to familiar. My SD17 has been pulling this kind of crap for awhile-but it's escalated now that she's older and he and I are married. She's been sexually active for some time now, so she is no innocent child. Shows up here with her boobs hanging out of her top and shorts so short you can see the moon-and then throws herself at her father. And he loves it. He just smirks at me over her head when she gives him a full body hug. And when I say anything about it to him, he accuses me of being sick and perverted. Yep, I'm sick alright. Sick of watching it, sick of her attitude, sick of both of them.

I doubt my sd is doing this out of jealousy, tho that might play a part in it. She does it because it's how she gets what she wants from her father. He will not stand up to her, and is, in fact, flattered by all the "loving attention". Meanwhile, if we take her out to eat, or to a family gathering - his - if she's in a mood she'll sulk and be rude to everyone. And he doesn't take her to task over it. Everyone is just expected to put up with it.

I've had advice to "disengage". Honestly, at her age I am not trying to raise her. I just expect better manners and decent morals while she's in my home-this is my home, not his, not ours (acutally belongs to my parents).

So, 5 months into the marriage and I'm miserable anytime she's around. I've decided to give it a year-and if things don't improve, he's so out of here. He can take "Lolita" and live with what he helped create.