You are here

Sick...? Again?!?

tryingtobezen's picture

My SD all on a sudden last night at dinner, after eating most of it, feels "like I'm going to voimit"...

No womit, but she was tired from having a friend stay over the night before and not sleeping properly. So, Monday morning rolls around and I get the inevitable "I'm sick"...

I wouldn't mind so much excpet she's claimed to be sick at least once a week for the last 4 weeks. She had two days off school with a cold, I picked her up when she had "cramps", last week she tried with very fake sounding coughing and sniffing (DH told her if she was off school, then no going out on weekend and she made a miraculous recovery!), then again today.

DH was at work already so I had the joy of dealing with it all. I took her temp and said her timing was convinient - she was outraged! I apologised if I'd upset her, but said for an otherwise healthy girl who was fine all Summer, she's had a series of illnesses each week for several weeks now and unfortunately that puts us in a position of not knowing whether or not to believe her. Anyway - it went on for a bit and I eventually said that I understood the deal was with her dad that if she was off school, then going out/having friends over not such a good idea on the weekends. She was also going to miss an after school committment which I pointed out... she said I was "making her feel guilty". I said that if she's telling the truth she has nothing to feel guilty about and if she isn't then she should feel guilty! It ended up wtih her saying huffily "fine, I'll just go to school then" (like that was a threat?) and me saying "good on you then".

Not fun. Halfway through the day and no word from school, so she must be ok.

Not easy!!!

What do you other SMs do in these situations?!?

CantKeepDoingThis's picture

In this house, the rule has ALWAYS been (even with my bios)....if you are sick, then you stay in your bed all day! No TV, no phone, no internet! You need your rest, as you are sick! No junk food either, because you need good food to get well. Warded off faking! If they were really sick, none of this bugged them! They went to bed and slept off whatever was bugging them. If they were faking, they made a miraculous recovery!

HHB didn't get many sick days when she lived here! She has already had more absences in 4 months being back at BM's than she had in 2 years living with us! BM never questions it when HHB simply says she doesn't feel well! And how do I know she missed? Stupid girl always posts on social media when she stays home!

tryingtobezen's picture

Funnily enough we have the same rule! No devices etc. and stay in bed if you're sick. I think it reduces it but unfortunately - she seems to like nothing more than lying around in bed all day doing nothing... Especially on a school day :/

tryingtobezen's picture

Thanks Cat and nice to hear it worked out in the end with yours!!! Very reassuring.

It's the standard stuff with DH being manipulated easily and feeling "guilty" in case she genuinely is sick - so have much less kindly pointed out a few things to him - haha! Poor guy - doing his best - these kids just know the soft spots don't they?

Rags's picture

For my parents if there was no fever, blood, or protruding bones we did not miss school. Period!

The same needs to apply today for all kids. Quality parents don't let the kids play them.

Goon on you for calling her bluff.

CantKeepDoingThis's picture

I still remember one day BD24 woke up, and had no clue what happened to her neck. She said she could barely turn her head, and when she forced it she heard a pop, and everything hurt like hell. I could see the pain in the poor girl's face. She spent the day in hot baths and with a heating pad on the back of her neck. She didn't even want to eat...she said the pain was so bad that just the smell of food made her want to throw up. We still don't know what happened, but she was well enough the next day to go back to school. The next day she said it didn't hurt any more, but she still just couldn't turn her head as much (she could look up and down just fine). Whatever it was totally worked itself out in a few days and she hasn't had a repeat of it.

Cover1W's picture

SD11 pulls the sick card too much. She's a little too dramatic about it. One time, when it was highly inconvenient for everyone (I just knew she was faking on a Friday), we were all supposed to go out for a nice dinner. DP and i, once I got home, started prepping normal dinner. SD11 pops down and asks about going out...

Me: SD11, why are you out of bed?
SD11: when are we going to dinner?
DP: but you are sick!
SD11: I am feeling better!
Me: you know, if you are sick you cannot go anywhere. What if someone else catches it?
SD11: starts to cry and throw a fit...
DP: you said you didn't feel well. This is a result. No special night because you are sick. Go back to bed.

She's done it a couple times since then and has told us she tricks BM easily. I love that she told us this so we are on it.

CantKeepDoingThis's picture

HHB...like BM...plays everything up! DH has had problems in the past with BM using the ER as her primary care and taking HHB in for every little sniffle and bump, and then handing him these big bills for half. Co-pay for a GP is like $20, but with the ER, there is first a deductible to be met. When HHB lived with us, she strained her ankle in color guard. Now, I have LOTS of experience with strained ankles, being in sports myself when I was in high school, being a personally trainer, and having a son in football. I took a look, and could tell it didn't need anything but a little ice, Advil, a wrap, and elevation. She was also told that strains could take a couple of weeks to heal completely. My word...the girl played the thing up for like 2 months! Every other day she would tell DH that she thought she needed to go to the ER to have it looked at...though, she would not take the Advil, and would not keep the wrap on it (it wasn't attractive).

Oh, and then the color guard captain messed up her knee. Next thing we know, HHB is complaining about her knee. She got this brace from somewhere...never figured out where, and wore it constantly for like 6 months (yeah, the wrap for the ankle was not attractive, and she is wearing this awful looking brace all the time). Funny thing was, she sometimes forgot which knee she was supposed to have hurt, and would limp wrong or put the brace on the wrong leg!

But every little thing is always a big production with her, and you know she hoped to get dear daddy to say she didn't have to go to school. He would make her go to school, and she would start this huge production that she had to come home. Sometimes it worked, sometimes it didn't. I'm sorry, just saying "I don't feel well" and not being able to give any kind of details about what you mean about that means it is likely you aren't really sick! Do you have a headache, do you feel weak, does anything hurt, is your head stuffy...all those questions would just result in HHB saying "I don't know...I just don't feel good." Yeah...you are not sick!

tryingtobezen's picture

And she's sick again today...

I can't believe it. I have exams in two weeks and so need this time for quiet study. Her prescence totally disturbs the house (we have a puppy easily woken, so I'm up and down with him more often), she's in her room sniffing, the bathroom banging around, kitchen coughing everywhere arrrrgggghhhhhh!!!!!!

She DOES have a cold - but anyone would think it's the plague!

I feel a guilty being so angry about it and I don't think she realises at all how annoyed and put out I am - this is all adding to the stress of it.

I just feel like I have nothing left in the tank to give her.

Rags's picture

If she is sick drag her in for a ton of tests. Lots of needles, etc... }:)

Put her to bed, no books, no TV, no connectivity. Lots of clear broth and water. No fun.

Sick is sick. It is not fun.

Don't let her have fun.