SD15 making demands
Prior to August 2014 hubby's kids girl 14 and boy 11 came every other weekend. We had a great relationship. In Aug hubby and I went out of state to his families wedding. Girl demanded to go and was told NO. Since then kids refuse to visit. Girl tells dad she has no room for him in her life boy just doesn't talk. Child support mod filed from dad who is now disabled and needs a knee replacement. During the back and forth hubby wants formal parenting plan and we hire a lawyer. Troll ex wife tells lawyer that kids desperately want to see dad BUT don't want me involved at all. They want me to leave my home or hide in my bedroom when they are here. BTW this is my house that their dad moved into. I already lived her. So dad tells the girl to pound salt he will not give into her demands. I feel bad because the kids are using me as an excuse to make demands on dad that they know he won't follow therefore he does not see his kids. And all of this was something planted by troll because she cannot control him anymore. She is angry that I have and make good money and and I paid for his lawyer. So she wants him to exclude me from their activities. I'm happy and sad at the same time. Happy that he loves me so much that he's not willing to leave me behind but sad because I become the reason his kids won't visit. Ugh!!!!
Also during one step of the
Also during one step of the mod process she sent an inquiry as to where I work and how I make because dad is limited in his work status. I told her it's none of her business because although we call each other wife and hubby were not legally married. But she is demanding my income info..
Because of this I will not
Because of this I will not marry him until his kids are adults. I have 3 children at home and I use my money to care for them. I will not have my guy suffer because I make a good wage. So as much as I'd love to be his wife. We will have to wait 6 more years to do it..
she can demand all she likes!
she can demand all she likes! Unless you are told by a lawyer in writing that you are required to, you tell her to shove it!
Hugs
what a shit thing this mother is doing to her own kids....look up PAS.
I agree with you in theory,
I agree with you in theory, but I can't quite make it play out in my head in practice, if they were invited. It's kind of a HUGE consequence for what seems like a minor offense. I'm picturing this:
Man: So-and-so is getting married in a couple months, we just got the invitation.
Kid: I wanna go!
Man: NO! You wanna demand crap from me YOU'RE NOT GOING!
I mean.... I hope it didn't play out like that, 'cause it sound over the top and out of control. But I can't really make sense of it, myself. Although I suppose if it DID play out like that, it might explain why the kids haven't been visiting....
Exactly. If kids are invited
Exactly. If kids are invited to a wedding, it is still at the parents' discretion to take them or not. It does not give them the absolute right to go. How ridiculous.
It was made very clear this
It was made very clear this was NOT a family vacation. My 3 children didn't go either.
Your income and where you
Your income and where you work is none of BM's business. Ever.
Don't feel guilty, you are being used as a scapegoat. If they couldn't use you as the excuse, they would come up with something else. They are just mad that they cannot control your DH and get their way.
If the kids desperately wanted to see their dad, they would.
Well the wedding was 1200
Well the wedding was 1200 miles away during the kids first week of school after summer. We stayed 2 weeks therefore the kids would have had to miss that much school. No they weren't invited and we were staying with MY family and didn't want to impose on them. The good relationship fell apart after the trip. All was fairly quiet with the SD ignoring dad and his 100s of I love you I miss you texts. SD came out with this claim only after court started for a reduction in cs. Hag now makes $10,000 more then when order was done 10 years ago and dad makes $15000 less. So SD is just trying to hold dad hostage with demands that she knows he will not agree too. She really doesn't want to see him at all she is just using me as her excuse. "You picked her over your own kids" just because he said no to excluding me in my own home. I could care less. I'd never be mean to either child and I'd hate to see my guy hurt and be heartbroken but if these kids never came again I wouldn't miss them.
Before I came into the picture dad lived far away from the kids so he didn't see them but once a year. When the hag wanted money even if more then order he would send it because he felt guilty for not being there. Now he and I are together we live within an hour away and he is not the atm anymore. Hag doesn't like that. She would always say I need more money for kids food or clothing etc. He didn't check he just sent. Now being close he doesn't do that anymore. To add to the drama. She filed an arrears claim well 2 of them. With to different payment histories 2 sets of totals and doesn't give him credit for the money he sent (direct pay order) he went to court with all his receipts and she is now being investigated for perjury and fraud. She claims she didn't total correctly because she didn't consider those payments support. Well dad's lawyer is making an issue of this. Fla dor. Is also investigating her for fraud. So now all this about the SD missing dad and wanting him to herself. It's just so sad to watch and I'm so out of place because I know that I'm being used as the wedge..
PS.. they all know I paid for
PS.. they all know I paid for the lawyer.
I shall be your fairy
I shall be your fairy godmother, notasm, and grant your wish. Some months ago sd15 was screaming at DH and trying to hurt him and defy him. They were in her room. I stayed out of it in the kitchen. Didn't pay attention, although it was a terribly unusual scene in my house.
Then I heard him say defensively, "what do you mean you are going out there to say that to her?!" So I figured I better tune in. Sure enough she comes storming out to the kitchen, him trailing her. He came and stood BY ME and we both faced her. She demanded in a sneering and angry voice, "Why did you marry her?!"
He answered, "Because I love her."
SD15: "Why!?!"
DH: "Because she's sweet and nice and WHO WOULDN'T LOVE HER?????"
Wishes
Wish my DH would stand up for me like that to his kids.
Chief, that was a "money"
Chief, that was a "money" moment! I love that!
Yes, it was a moment of great
Yes, it was a moment of great emotional intensity from all the anger and conflict and meanness. When DH said that I felt like golden syrup was flowing all over me, comfort, sweetness, deep calm. The syrup fired up the dilithium crystals (Trekkie alert) for miles around and I felt I could handle anything now, the power, the strength were limitless. If the men here knew how good it felt to their wives, they'd all do it.
You married a very smart man
You married a very smart man of impeccable character. Congratulations to you both.
Why, thank you, Rags. Yes, I
Why, thank you, Rags. Yes, I did! I appreciate him every day. *curtsy*
That's the thing.... A little
That's the thing.... A little honey gets the bee.... But skids use what ever mean manipulative thing they can to crush their fathers heart to get what they want.... They have a lot to learn when it comes to handling people.
It was the right thing to do
I have been in your exact shoes, except her own mother paid for our lawyer to get my SS grandson away from her. She wasn't just a troll, she was a full-blown narcissist and it was about control. That's why I'm on this site because my stepson is behaving just like her now and it's almost scary. I'm sick of him and the way my husband let's him run my house. It's always all my fault and I'm turning his dad against him. No you little..... You broke every rule, smoke pot, bad grades, speeding ticket. Ya, they never take responsibility for anything and I'm ready to leave my husband.
Didn't marry him either
I didn't marry my DH either, because of the money grubbing biomom. He wanted our accounts separate for the most part, so that she couldn't get at my money. We are still together 12 years later. In 2 years she will have no more child support! She has already had to sell one of her houses due to declining child support as the kids age out. Its kind of funny to watch her lavish lifestyle dwindle while we are no longer broke all the time, because the money we make is ours to keep - FINALLY. It took years but goes around does come back around for these awful biomoms. The kids see through her BS mostly. They know about her cheatin ways. Just wait. She will get hers.