I could just tell her it is rude to ask others for their things and I likely will. The larger issue is boundaries. Kid thinks nothing of going into my jewelry box for a bracelet or whatever (and my stuff is not expensive but it is mine), or into my nightstand to look for a charger or into BD's room to get stuff. Now, I did address the jewelry box issue and if I see her in my nightstand I'll say something. (same goes for BD's room). Of course, some of this was born of my kinda being slack at the beginning and making excuses for her behavior to myself but KEEP OUT OF OUR STUFF,,damn. I do get tired of correcting because she isn't a bad kid and each issue, at the time seems petty somehow. I must also admit that I couldn't really care less if one of my BK's did like things (I mean I'd tell them to ask because I'm a tad attached to boundaries). I felt guilty about that because I don't want to treat kids differently but they are my kids and it is different.

Oh I battle my partiality all the time. It doesn't bother me when my kids do the above because, well, they don't really. Maybe a sip or taste but in that way, it is a little different. I'm amazed, and dismayed sometimes, that it's actually a struggle to be fair. It doesn't come naturally in this regard. Though it eases with the passage of time, it's a rare day that I don't think, "now, before I say anything, what I would I do if it were BS or BD"? and try to act accordingly. I raised my kids to respect privacy and boundaries (they also no my personal foibles and/or pet peeves) so I know that much of what irritates me is just particulars but... still irritating. She, the SD, has gone to counseling (in regards to BM drama with mental issues prior to divorce)..seems fairly well adjusted..my son, had some after BD passed away. He's not real keen on it and seems to be improving. I find his behavior pretty normal. She gives him his space, it's me she shadows. I was just curious if it was at all common among Sks to just want it all. (like testing to see if you'll give it up for them like they may perceive the BKs getting,,,something like that)..

Yep, my SD is an only child, my BKs are, well, not. So not only was not everything about them all the time, even when it was about one, it might not be about the other. My SIL had only one and that kid went everywhere with her, did everything with her and now she's in her 20's, still hanging out with mom and wondering why she has not life. SIL gave very conditional love and rewarded with material things. My niece doesn't have a prayer if she doesn't marry well. I've already warned my two that "one day, you might have to help your cousin..". Last night I was sewing a button on my coat (the extent of my sewing know how) and my SD said "hey, can you do that to my shirt?" (because, I kid you not, she wants whatever you got, do, be..) and I said "you betcha, bring it, I'll teach you">.. "oh no, nevermind then". Really? I mean Lord, it takes three seconds. Were on week two of getting SD and BS to put dishes in dishwasher. He's doing it. She is not. I have to tell her and then I feel like all I do is nag her but she likely wants me to give up and just pick up the slack. My DH (really DB), said that my BS is just as bad. Um, no, no he's not and if he is he is smart enough to not do it in my line of vision. Every morning whatever she ate is is on my kitchen counter (a dirty dish, wrapper, etc and additional proof that she takes two bites or two sips and wastes the rest). Last night hers was the only bowl from dinner on the counter. It is still there this morning. I'm going to tell DB to please leave it and see just how long it stays.