The school and bus barn called...
So today my DH calls me from work asking if SD 15 is home from school/off the bus yet. She had literally just gotten through the door so I told him yeah and asked him what was up. He sounded odd. He told me that the school AND bus barn had called him and said that SD 15 was suspected of being under the influence of something because of her behavior on the bus (stumbling when getting on and off the bus, etc). Now, I'm fairly sure that they wouldn't just call on a whim. I know she's up to something from how she acted when she got home and the rest of the evening. I didn't necessarily smell alcohol on her but I also didn't get right up on her to smell her breath (I know this is going to sound petty but she's got awful breath normally to the point that I don't know how she even has a boyfriend) and besides, vodka and various alcohols don't carry a very strong odor and "under the influence" doesn't always mean alcohol. Plus, she was acting...off.
Any advice for DH/myself on how to handle this talk? I imagine there will be a lot of attempted guilt tripping on her part since that's the card she always tries to pull no matter what we are talking to her about. My plan is to shut down that BS right away but what do you guys suggest to really drive the point home?
OTC Drug/Alcohol test
I keep one in the bathroom cupboard in the kid's bathroom. (Extra one hidden in our room, just in case.) The kids know that at any time, for any reason ... they may be asked to take it. I get the more expensive test which covers alcohol, pot, etc. It is not a personal affront. We are keeping everyone safe.
Shut up and listen is the way to go IMHO.
If she starts the guilt trip shut her down immediately. She gets to say nothing if she pulls that crap.
She learns to speak the truth or she is not allowed to speak at all.
Shut up and listen is the way to go IMHO.
"You will tell us exactly what happened yesterday explaining in detail why we got a call from the school and bus barn telling us that you were behaving as if you were under the influence of either drugs or alcohol. If any words come out of your mouth other than a complete explaination you will not be allowed to speak. No bullshit will be tolerated. If you either bullshit us or choose not to explain in detail starting imediately you will park your ass on a chair with your nose in a corner with no electronics and you will leave that corner only for school,for 10mins to eat breakfast and dinner and 5 minute toilet breaks once every 8 hours. Do not test us on this. If you do you will suffer. Now speak."
I would preface this by placing a 14 panel urine test in front of her, escort her to the toilet to pee in the cup under direct supervision then while the test is resting per the directions begin the talk. If she is stressing a test she knows will come back positive she will likely spill her guts. Or... she will cry, wail and gnash her teeth that the test is wrong. Either way.... apply the consequences if anything but full disclosure is forthcoming.
Just ask
Just ask what was going on? On the bus today because the school rang saying she was acting drunk? Then wait To hear what she says. If you think it bs call her on it. Tell her that using alcohol or drugs at her age is unacceptable there be trouble if you ever find her doing either of them. Or maybe something else happened at school for her to be acting strange. You never know with teenagers these days. Could be anything. Best thing just to ask her before you lay down any law.