I have a teenage SD (17) and SS (15) - my husband and I share 3 kids ages 6,2 and 0. We have been together 8 years and lived together for nearly 7 with his kids every second week - so one week off and one week on.

In the beginning I loved it - all the things you do with kids that age - specially playing board games and doing fun stuff on the weekend. I never tried to be a mom to the step kids but obviously took care of some stuff in our house like cooking and decorating it. My husband is very hands on and a great dad. He had been living alone with them in the US for nearly 3 years before moving back and starting to see me. It was tough for the kids to go back to Denmark and start a different school and we did what we could to support them. Their mom is okay, but she never really took an interest in me or her kids lives when they were with us and she seems kind of self-centered also in parenting. I don't think she liked me coming into the picture even though she had moved on herself and had another child with a new man. Anyhow this post is about when the step kids became teenagers! First the girl started to be really moody when she was around 14/15. It felt like from one day to the other she stopped talking to me, didn't say hi and just seemed very depressed in general. We were really worried and tried to help her all we could and she is in a much better place now, but it was tough times and it hurt me a lot that she froze me out. Now we are cordial - even friendly so I think it was just a phase. And she moved out to her moms about a year ago, so she only visits. But the step son - like our relationship has always been good in my opinion. He was relaxed around me and I around him until like 6 months ago. He just became moody and rude to both me and his dad. I thought we had the kind of relationship where I could say to him that he should speak nicely to me, but apparently we don't or at least he is contesting that he is behaving rude and talking badly to anyone. He also blames us for a lot of really random things - that none of us had any idea would be ill perceived. I have kind of given up talking to him at this point but I find him terribly annoying, lazy and demanding. I hope it's just a phase but I really don't want to spend any time with him right now. My husband is trying his best with him but is also a bit strung out. Is it just a phase as with the girl and is it okay that I keep a good distance while it lasts ?

I don't want to ruin anything but family dynamics aren't good when he is around.