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relationships and kids

Tb27's picture

Submitted by Tb27 on Tue, 10/13/2015 - 5:19pm

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Teenage Stepchildren

I am a single mom with 3 boys 16,14 and 4. I have been in a relationship with my partner for almost 3 years now. And ourlove has always been something we felt good get us through the worse of times. My partner moved in with me 2 years ago. And it has always been hard co-parenting. My 4 year old is extremely close to her and my 14 year old tolerates her. My 16 yr old has been in and out of trouble which has lead him in and out of the home. For about the time frame he wasn't living in the house she had been moved in. The two of them get along but when a situation gets bad she makes it 20X worse with him. It's so hard to handle this life just being a mother of 3 boys , but then you have one who has behavior issues and a 14 yr old who is a mouthy teen and your partner who escalates issues and puts me down! I am told what a horrible life this is. How I don't discipline my kids when they swear and act out of line. How I let things go and what hell this is. I feel that I am doing all I can. I try my hardest and everytime something goes wrong she makes it worse. I believe she has had enough and will be leaving me because of the kids. I just don't know if I should cry the tears I have or I should take a deep breath and feel relieved! She has an opinion on everything and she says I teach my kids no Morals. It's so depressing to have someone throw in your face how bad your life is and know that my relationship will end because my kids DO NOT show respect. I don't know what to feel. Any advice.

notsobad's picture

Submitted by notsobad on Tue, 10/13/2015 - 6:59pm

I think that maybe she's being honest with you and you know it.

You have to parent, you have to discipline, enforce the rules and you have to be the bad cop. It's hard if you are the only parent in your kids life. You don't want to be fighting all the time.
But if you don't start parenting these kids will never become adults that you can be proud of.
Hard now, easy later. Easy now, hard later.

Maybe look into taking some parenting courses? Get some tools and learn how to deal with your kids in a positive way that benefits the whole family.

Tb27's picture

Submitted by Tb27 on Tue, 10/13/2015 - 7:18pm

I know how to be a parent. In a lot of cases as a parent you have to pick and choose your fights. And with my oldest it is even more the case. For someone who is not a parent she shouldn't judge the way I handle things. Until you have children of your own you will never understand. And a parenting class?? Being a mother or father doesn't come with instructions. Every child and family is different and needs a different kind of discipline. I do punish, I do timeout , I take cellphones and xboxs. I do my best

furkidsforme's picture

Submitted by furkidsforme on Tue, 10/13/2015 - 7:22pm

Because when they slid out of your vag you suddenly had some magic wand of PARENTNESS waved over you? For real?

You think that just because you GAVE BIRTH you automatically are a good parent????

OK.

You might be doing "your best", but by your own admission you have done so well as to raise disrespectful kids who continue to be so without your intervention.

WTF...REALLY's picture

Submitted by WTF...REALLY on Tue, 10/13/2015 - 9:49pm

Get this book asap.

How to talk so kids will listen and listen so kids will talk.

You need some parenting skills.

Tb27's picture

Submitted by Tb27 on Tue, 10/13/2015 - 9:17pm

Your right !!! Sueu2 lol I didn't realize what I signed up for literally I didn't realize it was for step parents

BethAnne's picture

Submitted by BethAnne on Tue, 10/13/2015 - 10:48pm

Having similar morals is often a key factor in relationships. Perhaps you two are not that well suited to each other if you have fundamental differences.