Sounds like you had the other woman living in your house all the time she was there. I would say good riddance because he is her problem and not yours.

Sorry for the unhappiness you encountered. Cruella's words speak volumes and they are very much true. It wasn't you. It appears your BF is in serious denial and is also contributing to his child's problems by not acknowledging them.

that would be a nightmare, I am glad you are getting out of it. If you are like me and really wanted a partner, there are lots of good people out there still, don't let this stop you.

"Fortune favors the brave" - Virgil

Both of them are not right. Be glad they are both gone. The whole situation was headed for disaster.

when he realizes what a mess he is in, when she turns up pregnant you have to stay strong, he is going to want to come back...and quite frankly you have done an amazing job, but now it is his turn. He did not want to back you up....well lets see how well he does alone.

Keep Smiling and Welcome...

What you want today, might not be what you want tomorrow.....

What you want today, might not be what you want tomorrow.....

It hurts now but you were strong enough to get this far you will do amazing things now without the conflict! Time to learn from the experience and use it for better things in the future.
Lisa Dawn

This is less about SD16 and more about your ex. As the parent, he is the one who has perpetuated the unhealthy relationship with SD16 and put that relationship ahead of his marriage to you.

You deserve to be #1 and should settle for nothing less! In the short run this situation is difficult, but in the long run it'll likely be for the best.

Take care of yourself

Your Ex fell for SD's manipulation. I'm so sorry to hear it. I wish I could say something to ease your pain, but that is the ultimate betrayal.

Parents who don't discipline, don't set rules, try to be a buddy to their kids, put their kids ABOVE their primary relationship with another adult...aren't helping their kids learn what they need to so they can go out in the world, have healthy relationships, responsiblities, etc.

You did everything you could.

I hope you wrap yourself up in some good books (I always plug Eat Pray Love for any life changing experience) and wonderful friends/ family. Go out and make a list of all the things you were putting off doing b/c you were putting your relationship first and dive into them!

Peace, love, and red wine

I hate that you are hurting, wish I had words of wisdom,we think we are making futures with someone and then the rug gets pulled out from under us, but just remember sometimes it ends up being a magic carpet to carry us to a much better place.Wish you were in my town , you need a good old fashioned night out or just a girls night with a bottle of wine and good movies that make you cry anyway!!

"We don't understand life anymore at 40 then at 20, but we know it and admit it" Jules Renard

I am going through your pain also, and I can honestly say, I could have written your story. The difference is that unfortunately I sold my home (we both did) to buy together. Huge mistake. Should have rented. However, as we have been engaged for over a year, I thought we would be together forever. my SD (also 16) lost her Mum 5 years ago, and my fiance is over protective to the point that he cannot see what happens in front of him. His daughter can be lovely and has been helpful around the house - which, as she left school last year and doesn't work, I feel she should be doing something to contribute anyway. However, she can also be a rude, manipulative, spiteful person - and guess who gets it all? Step Mums are such an obvious target! He has made excuses for everything she does - it would seem that it is always my fault somehow in his eyes. Unfortunately, he is incapable of putting our relationship first and I do not want another year of being let down by him because 'he can't do whatever - it wouldn't be fair to her!' What about me?!! He refused to go to Silverstone Grand Prix racing experience I surprised him with for his birthday, because I wanted to stay overnight in a local hotel and make a special weekend of it - why? Because she wanted to come! He did not come with me to that, he has let me go the the cinema alone, because he 'didn't like to leave her alone!' We cannot have a weekend away unless she comes too! Our relationship (just over 2 years) has been doomed from the start, when our first Valentines dinner had to include her! By the way, I have 3 children of my own - they are not so 'precious' apparently. Well, we are getting the house valued this week, so the very painful and difficult time is starting, but I know that it is necessary to heal the hurt he has caused me. Oh, and by the way everyone, he is also a total control freak. He found out I was on this site because he 'vets' (spies?) on what I have been looking at - I stopped for a while, although I did tell him I needed this site to keep my sanity, to know I was not alone etc. But he has now told me he has copied everything I have written on here, and is keeping it - am I missing something here?
By now, you should have the house back to yourself. Keep yourself busy and remember how you were treated - you deserve better and you know that.
If 'we' is not you and him, but when he says 'we' and means him and his daughter, then you and I are both on the outside. Not where I plan to be any longer.

I was there last year and now am in a much better place. The ex gf's twin boys are really causing her problems. Last I heard, one of them started screaming and cursing at the music teacher at school and not just one of them, but both of them (11 years old) are sucking their thumb and carrying around blankets. My ex gf thinks I am the worst person in the world because I thought her kids should get help. Parents aren't just parents when the child is on the honor roll, they are also parents when the kids are sitting in detention. Sometimes the time we are the best parents are when the kids are at their worst.

It does sound like your ex is a lot like my ex -- and in that case you are way better off. I know, that doesn't mean that it doesn't hurt. The pain fades though and happiness and joy are possible.

Kevin

I'm also sorry that you're going through this, but relieved for you at the same time- I also have a similar situation, in finding out that I'll never have a true partner in my H, because he's more in love with his daughter than with me.
But these kinds of daughters never go away. It's better to get on with life now, and find someone who'll actually team up with you.

They shouldn't come first. But these guys will figure out later- when SD falls in love with someone and wants to get married, he'll be alone in everything, except when she wants money.

you have a lot good advice on your delimna - I just have to say I understand the guilty parent thing. My BF suffers from it. Although not to the extreme others above do, it does cause problems with his kids and me.
After much thought I told my BF he and his 9th grade drop out loser of a son ( I did not say that exactly) could not move in. I love this man but not his kid nor the turmoil he brings. better to wait then to be sorry later!
Chin up you deserve to be #1!!

to help and to listen
post!

"You will never be on top of the world
if you try to carry it on your shoulders.”

I just want to be happy. I want to know that my kids are safe and well cared for. I want to be able to trust that what goes on in my house are things that I can control because I am the parent. The things my SD gets away with are not things that I would allow my own children to do.