Me, me, me!
DH finally got a dose of what I've had to deal with when he isn't around last night! Yesterday, while taking SD14 to color guard (you know, that thing I was never asked about...she just joined and DH assumed that I would take care of it, so no other arrangements were ever made), my car decided to overheat half way to the school. Now, the school is about 10 miles from our house, now that the new high school is finished. Luckily, one of SD14's friends were able to swing by and take her the rest of the way.
DH had to take the day off (which didn't make his boss happy) to come rescue me and help me deal with the car, as my boss was even more unhappy than his about me being late (my boss has been under a lot of stress, and when I called an hour before I was supposed to report online to tell him I MIGHT be late, I got yelled at). So, DH came back, took me home and went back to my car to meet the tow truck (at that point, we weren't 100% sure what was wrong with it, but knew that simply putting water in it and moving on would not help, and would chance me losing an engine).
After he got back and took a look around the car, he had me order a thermostat and a hose...but these parts our parts store couldn't get until later in the afternoon. So, we get the parts, and after I'm done with work, I go help him fix the car. After we get it fixed, we find that the problem is much worse than it is! When the thermostat stuck, because my car is 10 years old and the top of the radiator is plastic, instead of releasing the pressure out of the radiator caps like it should have, it blew the seal where the plastic meets the metal of the radiator...meaning that now, I need a whole new radiator! This is not something we are getting quickly! First, we have to order it (which will take a few days to get here), and then we have to wait for the weekend AFTER the radiator gets in to change it out ourselves, as we don't have the $1000 just laying around that it would take a mechanic to do it.
So, DH makes some arrangements with one of my son's friends who is working up at the school helping install the computers in the labs and such (because it is a new school). This means that DH will be dropping SD14 off at the school an hour before she is supposed to be there, but because there are still workers at the school finishing up last minutes details, she has to go sit in the computer lab with my son's friend until band starts. This friend get's done working at 4:30 p.m., and SD14's practice finishes at 4:00 p.m., so she will have to go back to the lab when she is done and wait for him, and he will bring her home on his way home. When DH informed SD14 of this plan, she threw a huge fit at DH! Why? Because she had to get up earlier, and she couldn't come straight home, and she is tired after practices, etc. In this case, DH already was not in a good mood after the day of dealing with the car only to have it not fixed, and he let her have it! Of course, she just yelled back at him, stuff like she thought he was fixing the car, yadda, yadda. We are talking a huge temper tantrum thrown here, because my car problems were cutting into her day, and she had to go sit in some computer lab for an hour and a half a day waiting on the person who is being nice enough to be her ride home!
After a temper tantrum like
After a temper tantrum like that I'd yank her out of color guard right now. And find some loathsome jobs for her to do at home.
That is my thinking
That is my thinking exactly...unfortunately, it isn't my call. The way I see it...she joined color guard without asking me. DH allowed her to join color guard without asking me. Why should they have to ask me? Because I'm the taxi in this house being that I'm the one that works from home. She was lucky I didn't throw a temper tantrum and refuse to do it!
Oh, y'all would have loved
Oh, y'all would have loved last night!
As DH goes to tell SD14 that it is time for bed, he notices that the bathroom is trashed. As this is the hallway bathroom, SD14 has been told multiple times to keep it straightened. She is the ONLY one that uses this bathroom, as we have a "mother-in-law" floor plan where my son's room has it's own bathroom which he uses. Anyway...SD14's clothes are all over the floor, wet towels are in a ball on the top of the toilet tank (though she has two towel bars and the shower curtain rod to hang towels on), her hair dryer is in the sink, the curling iron on the counter, the straightener on the floor (though she has plenty of space to put these things neatly away), etc. DH tells SD14 to straighten up the bathroom before she goes to bed, and points out that she needs to take some time to clean it when she gets home...as she only did a half way job of cleaning the toilet (never lifted the seat, and only cleaned about halfway up the bowl), the sink has black junk all over it from her makeup, and the faucet looks like she has been spitting toothpaste directly on it. SD14 stomps into the bathroom to pick up her stuff. I hear DH tell SD14 that she needs to quit spitting on the faucet, and at the very least, she needs to rinse off the faucet and sink each day after she uses it. Here is what you are going to love...her response! (And yes, you have to inject some serious attitude into this)"Um, I didn't do that!!!" Really? Then, Casper must be brushing his teeth at night and spitting on your faucet, because no one in this house uses that bathroom, and we haven't had company since BD22 left...and BD22 cleaned that bathroom when she was here because she said it was so disgusting that being in it made her feel dirty (and BD22 cleans for a living). Last week, I went in there and completely coated the toilet with toilet cleaner so that it could soak through all the crap and SD14 could clean it when she got home. How does a girl get that toilet that disgusting in only a couple of weeks? (I know, but I would think she would at least be trying to clean up behind herself if she was actually trying to hide her little secret).
Oh, and she has gone through yet another phone. DH tries to get SD14 to come sit with us last night to watch "So You Think You Can Dance" that we DVR'd the night before...I mean, since she is supposedly so into dance, right? She refused, hiding out in her room. She comes stomping out with attitude because her phone isn't working...the screen is not accepting any swipes or anything, and the keyboard isn't working. We ask her what she did to the phone, and she gets on the super defensive, "NOTHING!!!!" DH tries to tell her that since we are down to one car and his work schedule, he can't even think about taking the phone to the AT&T store until the weekend. She gets all bent out of shape about this, takes her broken phone, and stomps off back to her room. I know why the phone isn't working...it is a slider (because we refuse to get her a smartphone because I'm not paying for a stinkin' data plan for her), and she is always slamming it open and shut. She's broken the connector between the two pieces, but you tell her that, and she claims she doesn't do that...when I watch her do it all the time!
I understand that teenagers have a certain amount of attitude...I've raised two of them...but hers is above an beyond! She literally acts like the world revolves around her, and if things don't go her way, she is going to fit about it! I'm really hoping that DH is starting to get tired of this and knocks the little princess off of her high horse soon! I've had to disengage for my sanity, but I can still feel all the muscles in my neck and back tighten when she enters a room because I know some drama or attitude is about to start.
You know, now that I think
You know, now that I think about last night, I REALLY wish DH had thought of and taken the opportunity to nail SD14 to the wall with something like, "If you are going to lie to me about something as trivial as spitting your toothpaste on the bathroom faucet when you KNOW I KNOW you are the only person who uses this bathroom, what else would you lie to me about, or have you lied to me about?" I would have loved to see the look on her face! Hopefully, DH is at least starting to think that in his mind, so maybe, just maybe, he will have his eyes opened up to all the crap she has been lying about, like purging after meals!
FINALLY A PUNISHMENT? Could
FINALLY A PUNISHMENT? Could it really be? Well, we will know when DH comes home today.
Last night, SD14 was given specific things that she had to get done before bed, which included putting away her laundry (which she was made to do a load when she got home) and taking a shower. At 10:00 p.m., she had done neither, but for some reason had fresh makeup on, her hair done, etc. DH was not happy, and got on to her to get her stuff done and quickly.
So, this morning DH goes to wake her up, and finds earbuds in her ears as she is asleep. This is significant, because DH has a rule (one of the very few that he has) that SD14 is not allowed to listen to anything but instrumental music when she sleeps, as he does want her brain absorbing crap her her sleep. The earbuds meant that she was listening to something she shouldn't have been listening to, and sure enough, her tablet was set to some music that had warnings about explicit lyrics! This made DH upset, but that is when the rest hit the fan. See, SD14 is not supposed to be on social media because of her many antics (posting of in appropriate pictures of her smoking pot, etc.). He finds Instagram and stuff on her tablet, which he knows was not installed by default on the device. He also finds this app called KIK which he specifically told SD14 to remove and not use. He has told her to remove this several times...when she still had her iPod, he caught her talking to some 17-year-old guy telling him she was 15 when she was only 13. He told her then she was forbidden to use KIK. Just the other day, he found it on her tablet, and told her to remove it again, reminding her that she was not allowed to use the app. Well, this morning, he finds that it was not removed! Turns out that SD14 was on social media and KIK on her tablet last night, and that is why she didn't get her stuff done. He hasn't had the chance to actually log into her stuff to see what she was up to, because he had to go to work, but he took the tablet away and said he would think about if she should get it back, as he is sick and tired of the lying!
Hopefully, DH will stick to his guns and keep the tablet away from her for a while. I personally have a problem with a child her age having unsupervised internet privs...especially this day and age with kids doing all kind of stupid things on the internet, which she has already proven that she is not immune to. We will see what happens!
Oh, and supposedly, if this crap keeps up, he is yanking her out of color guard....
So, now that I have a
So, now that I have a functioning car again, I have resumed transportation to and from color guard practice. What this has meant this week is lots of problems for me at work. They did a code release this past weekend that blew all kinds of things up, and it hasn't failed...when I'm finally able to get hold of development to start working through some of these issues, it is time to go pick up SD14 from practice. What is worse, is she is taking her sweet little time coming to the car...spending all of her time talking to friends rather than actually walking out to the curb to see that I am waiting at the back of the line. Now, this "line" doesn't mean that we have to pick up in that order...if our kid comes out, we can go ahead and pull out of the line and drive off. But because SD14 refuses to walk out and look for me, I'm stuck inching my way up as cars in front of me leave until I'm within distance to honk and get her attention! So, what should take me 20 minutes, takes me about 40 minutes to do, and thus gets me in trouble at work. Because of this extra time off (I usually work 9 to 5 with no lunch hour), I either have to start work earlier every day or work late every day to make up the time...but even making up the time, I'm still getting yelled at for not being around during a prime hour of the day.
Last night, after another very long day (worked 8:30 a.m. to 6:00 p.m. with the only break being to go pick up SD14), I still had to fix dinner. While we were eating, I mentioned that it would be really nice if someone else did the dishes. DH says, "______ SD14 will help you do them!" Help me do them? Of course, SD14's response was, "Gee, thanks for volunteering me." in a very snooty voice (keep in mind...son was at work, so it was just me, DH, and SD14). Knowing that SD14 would just have attitude about the whole thing, and would therefore just sit there barely touching the scrubber to anything in disgust, I just say, "You know what? Forget it!"
Once I get done with the dishes, and finally sit down to relax for a bit, SD14 tells me, "Oh, I need you to drop me off eariler, because I don't have enough time to go put my stuff up in the guard room!" I'm like, "What? I drop you off with 10 minutes before you need to be on the field!" She claims that the guard room is upstairs and that isn't enough time. With this, I'm mad. I leave for my room, and DH follows and asks me what my problem is. I tell him I'm tired of doing it all...that I don't have any time to do anything for me anymore because I'm having to cater to everyone else, and NOW, I have to get out of bed even earlier (instead of getting 30 minutes to relax after DH leaves for work, I'm lucky if I get 15...yes, may not seem like much, but when you run like me, you savor every bit you can get). I finally let it all out...that I was never consulted about the whole color guard thing, that it was just ASSUMED and EXPECTED that I would play taxi. I tell him about how I've been getting yelled at at work for having to take off during a prime time in the afternoon to go get SD14, and I'm really tired of it. I also explain that thanks to having to start work earlier to accommodate playing taxi, I don't get to get my daily exercise workout in, and I surely cannot do it in the evenings because there is dinner, and dishes, and everything else anyone wants me to do. I tell him I'm tired of telling SD14 to pick up after herself...that I'm tired of finding cheese wrappers, corn flakes, and anything else on the counter that she doesn't feel like picking up. Oh, I lay it on him. And what does DH have the NERVE to tell me? That I'm being selfish! REALLY? Oh, that send me off the handle, as I say everyone else gets to do whatever they want in this house, but I can't even get 30 minutes to an hour of me time on any given day to keep my own sanity or take care of my own health! DH then had the nerve to start playing off SD14 as a victim..."Oh, how do you think she feels right now that we are fighting? She thinks it is all her fault!"
Seriously! I've been needing a haircut for weeks now (the hair in my face is driving me crazy), but can't get it done, because either I've not had a car, or I've had some evening meeting related to the kids' school, or I have to work late again, or DH simply pouts and whines if I'm not going to be home in the evening (because, who is going to take care of him). But I'm selfish because I just want 1 hour a day that I can do my thing...exercise, study for my personal trainer exam so that I can get out of this job I hate...so that I can do something that is good for me...that is being selfish, when everyone else around me does as they please! DH gets to come home and sit on his butt. SD14 gets to come home and sit on her butt. What am I doing? Dinner, dishes, mine and DH's laundry, finally getting a shower in because I have to start my day running and there just isn't time. Then I lay in bed for 2 hours unable to fall asleep because I don't get adequate wind down time before bed to be totally rested and ready to sleep at bed time...so I may finally fall asleep around 12:30 a.m., only to have the first alarm start going off at 5:30 a.m. to start getting DH and SD14 out of bed (because neither can get up on their own).
I came very close to asking for a divorce last night...and I'm still pissed, though everyone else is going on with life like it is all good. Sorry for the long rant...just needed to vent this morning!