My stepdaughter is 20, and a "lovely" teenager. She goes to college while living with us. She is responsible with academic chores, does not party much, does not drink, does not use drugs. She is a normal teenager, even a lovely one. But I can´t no longer stand her. She has a way of invading every place of the house, of making her presence clear. She looooooooves her dad, in a way that for me is typical of 8 year old daughters but not of a teenager. She gets into our bed in the mornings (just right at the moment when I go to the bathroom, when I come back she is already there hugging her dady...). She is best friend with her dad's friends (who are all old grounchy university professors but fall for her sweetness), and if I don't stop it, she will be soon best friend with my girlfriends. She supervises everything, wants us to do everything her way. In one word: she wants this house to be "her house," in the sense that she is the authority here AND the girl friend of her dad. I am not a bossy person. I value independence and respect, and this is what I have been trying to give her for the last three years. But it seems that what I have offered with this instead is the oportunity for her to take over my role. At this point I don`t want to live with her any longer. I tried to negociate it with her father sayig: perhaps we should think about Alejandra moving out in a couple years or o so. He said he does not want her to leave home until she wants, and she can live with him while he can afford it (a tip on the cultural side: in my country children do not leave home until professionals. That is around 25, if early. They do not work while they go to college. I know that is completely spoiled but that's the way it works for most people). So, the situation right now is this: either I live with her for the next four years or so, or I leave both. My boyfried does not want the second, so he proposed as a solution that we start family therapy. I told him to let me think about it. I guess I will have to, although at this point, I'm not very inclined. I'm pretty fed up. I love him a lot, though.
Help me out a little bit!