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The imaturity continues

Tiffanyartist11's picture

I keep posting on the teenage topic because my step-son (who is 18) has been acting more like he is 15 lately. We spent Memorial Weekend with the 2 SS which I was ticked about. We seem to get every holiday with them so their mom can party it up. We didn't have anything planned but it has been an emotional roller coaster with the 18 year old. He graduated this past Friday and I am proud of him. He even gave me a hug in public after the ceremony. He has been talking more and not giving us the silent treatment (which is nice because that can seriously be brutal). Recently he lost his phone (that we pay for) at a concert while crowd surfing. A good Samaritan found it and mailed it to us. We found out he lost the phone from his mom, not even him. He can't grow a pair and ever tell us anything. Needless to say, the phone is trashed and doesn't work anymore. My husband keeps saying that he will get him a new one. I just stare at him in disbelief. This "kid" needs to go buy his own phone. His damn mom called yesterday to ask if we were replacing it because she really worried about him out driving with no phone. blah blah blah. OMG.....She babies him so much is ridiculous.

Also my husband talked to him yesterday (on his mom's phone) when he went to a graduation party. He stated that he wasn't coming back for the night. My husband asked him if he had called his boss to let him know he plans to start working again on Tuesday now that baseball is over. My husband got him the job at his company (big mistake in my opinion) and he is to call the boss to check in etc. Well SS18 of course didn't call him and just planned on showing up. My husband chewed him out. His excuse? "I haven't had a phone." Yet he manages to call people on his mom's, his brother's phone, and we own a housephone that is perfectly capable of making calls. Maybe he doesn't know how a house phone works. I'm just so over the immaturity. He has no concept of what it means to be an adult and his damn mom babies him so much he never will. My husband and I are at our wits end with his stupidity. SS16 acts more responsible than this kid. :O

Easylikesundaymornin's picture

Here is a valid point ~ how in the world did we survive with cell phones ??? Answer house phones ~ how did our parents know we arrived safely ~ either we arrived home at curfew or another novel concept we used our friends house phone.

The enabling bullshit is so over the top.

Tiffanyartist11's picture

I agree! I did not have a cell phone till I was in college. The kicker is that half the time they don't answer us when we call or text anyway. ITS RIDICULOUS! I feel like if their mom is so concerned, her dumb self can get him one.

Easylikesundaymornin's picture

Agreed !
Either he replaces if he wants it that bad. Or mom can

My son is 15 yrs old ~ he just bought himself a iPad mini ~ he saved his money from shoveling snow all winter ~ along with sneakers deals from foot locker. Love it ~ 15 n buys his own electronics.

Daughter wanted cell phone upgrade ~ had to pay half. Sorry with 4 kids n being a single mom ~ kids have to chip in for their wants. Needs I m responsible for but not their wants.

CantKeepDoingThis's picture

OMG with the cell phones!!! I can so relate! I survived just fine as a teenager without a cell phone, and mom survived just fine. How? Exactly as has already been said...when I got to my destination, I was ORDERED to call to let mom know where I was and that I got there in one piece. Here is another thing that was different...there was no last minute change of plans!!! I couldn't call or text mom at the last moment and beg and plead to stay one more hour, etc. Nope!! If I was to be home at 8 p.m., I better be home at 8 p.m.! If I wasn't, there was hell to pay!

SD15 goes through cell phones like crazy! Like you, we pay for SD15's phone and cell plan. If SD15 breaks or loses her phone, you can bet that BM is on DH's ass to replace it ASAP!!! BM cannot stand not having direct access to SD15! DH has NEVER denied BM access to SD15...when she is without a phone, BM can always call DH and he will put SD15 on the phone. NO! That isn't good enough. Nooooooo...BM just has to be able to text SD15 in the middle of the school day when BM is totally bored sitting on her ass no even taking care of her other child...and SD15 is NOT supposed to even be texting at school! Immaturity? Yeah, SD15 learns it from BM who still acts like she is 12 herself!

Tiffanyartist11's picture

The younger son (16) last night said, "if mom takes me to get one this weekend, you can just reimburse me dad." My husband goes, "no I don't think so, I'll take you when I have time." REIMBURSE ME! WTF...this isn't like some company you work for, it's your dad! They are so entitled. I was proud of my husband for putting his foot down though. I'm sure their mom is badgering them. She's too busy spending her money going on vacations with her friends to pay for anything like that. We take them every year on vacation with us (THATS A WHOLE OTHER CAN OF WORMS I WONT OPEN RIGHT NOW.) sigh.....

CantKeepDoingThis's picture

Oh...THAT is total BS! BS19 has bought at least 2 of his phones, and he doesn't even come close to going through them as fast as SD15! He had a job busing tables when he was 14, and wanted a full keyboard phone before his upgrade...he spent $200 to buy it himself! Didn't even consider asking us to reimburse! When he was 18, again he wanted a new phone before his upgrade came up...was tired of iPhone and wanted an Android phone...so again, he bought it himself! SD15 ever consider buying anything herself? Oh hell no! She still hasn't worked off the $200 in makeup that DH bought her some months ago! She was told if he got her the makeup, she had to do chores without being told and without question or argument. Yeah...still leaves her dishes and crap everywhere, and when she is TOLD to take out the trash because it is full and she is being lazy and just putting the trash on the counter next to the can (when the rule is, if it's too full to put your crap in it, you take it out), she has a fit about it.

Easylikesundaymornin's picture

I'd put those dirty dishes in her bed ! No joke

The trash bag id put in her room ~ fffff that.

Tiffanyartist11's picture

we have the same issue with trash around here. They will just lay it on top so when I open the door to the trash, it spills out. They wonder why I come home from work and go nuts taking the trash out. Sometimes I open the door and whip it out in the yard because I'm so ticked.

Easylikesundaymornin's picture

If I was Dad ~ I'd keep forgetting to get him his phone ~ for like a month. Damn if some kid is gonna bust my chops for something that is a privlegie ~ that's bullshit ~ earn it. I'd tell BM you want to contact kids use my phone or better yet our house phone.

CantKeepDoingThis's picture

EXACTLY! That is what I tell DH...let her suffer and maybe she will learn to take better care. Nope...first chance he gets, he replaces! I'm seriously shocked that SD15 is having to go as long as she is with a broken iPod screen and a cracked phone screen! I've lost track of how many phones she has been through, plus 2 iPods, I think 3 tablets now, and a laptop!

hereiam's picture

she really worried about him out driving with no phone.

Then he probably should not be driving at all.

Back in the day, we drove hundreds of miles across the country with no cell phones. If an emergency happened, we dealt with it. WITHOUT a cell phone.

It's funny how conveniences become necessities. And crutches.

And he can buy his own cell phone. They really do come in all price ranges and it's time he learned that you get by on what you can afford.

My 11 year old niece saved and bought herself an Ipod 5, I think an 18 year old can buy his own phone.