I hate my SS and I think my SD is well......
I hate my 14 yr old stepson. He climbed on our roof and he threw a lava lamp at me and took bullets to school. He went into a mental hospital for that. Then he moved with his mother. He is suppose to visit for a week starting Saturday and I DO NOT want him here. He has hurt his sisters (they live here 10 and 13 yrs) and he has burned my 3yr old. He steals and I do not trust him. I really want him gone. I dont want him here and I have told his father this. The bad part is my husband is not actually his father. I cannot stand feeling like this!!! I feel bad too. I love my husband and I hate his kids, his 13 yr old daughter, well she is a lost cause, she doesnt have anything going for her and I cant help her bc she thinks im stupid. Any ideas on how I can keep SS from comming here to visit, or make is so miserable for him when he is here that he never wants to come back?
I have talked to ppl b4 and I have had enough ppl tell me how horrible I am for feeling this way so please dont make me feel any worse . Thanks
Hopefully, I won't make you
Hopefully, I won't make you feel worse. You have every right to feel the way you do, and I probably would too in your shoes. However, WTH is going on that the kids behave the way they do? There is obviously some serious underlying issues and in a way, the kids need to be pitied for that. There's a reason they're doing what they're doing. Having said that, there's no way I would want the SS in my house given his violent background. Any chance you can take your kids and stay with family or friends during that week? I know it doesn't solve the long-term problem, but for now at least?
I'm really sorry you're going through this.
Their mother is well an idiot
Their mother is well an idiot and DH used to travel a lot and she didnt raise them at all. The house they lived in, she let it get so bad that(i saw pics) that i wouldnt let a dog live there. There are tons of underlying stuff, but it doesnt make it any easier and even if I leave, what am i comming home to? What will be left? Im afraid...
Then refuse to have him. He
Then refuse to have him.
He burnt your 3 yr old?!!! What, deliberately?!
I find it shocking that stepparents are expected to just lap up whatever awful and dangerous behaviour their stepchildren throw at them, and when the stepparent has a problem with this (as would any reasonable person) THEY are the ones who are horrible. Unacceptable impo and I dont know what world we are living in that gives free reign to and enables children to act like monsters.
You have extremely valid reasons for your concerns, not least your own child's safety. What is more important than that, along with your own?!! If people are guilting you over that, then sorry but they arent particularly good friends to you.
There are times when a wife can say no and mean it.
Thanks, I decided to say no.
Thanks, I decided to say no. I ended up having to threaten him though. I told DH that if he brought that brat home with him on sat, I would divorce him, its sad though b/c we just got married in June :? It worked though, he promised me he would not bring him in this house. That is enough for me, but the thing that worries me , is that he might find a loophole in what he said, and are we gonna have this fight everytime a visiting time comes around? And yes, we shouldnt have to put up with this just because they arent our "real" kids. Everyone who doesnt get it, well they think you are some horrible person. Well just because I hate a kid, Eapecially bc its warranted, doesnt mean that I am a bad person, it just makes me feel that way....
you say theyre not your
you say theyre not your "real" kids... why does your DH have visitations then? Where is their real father?