Okay so I have read a bunch of posts here and I am wondering where are all the men? Certainly men have issues when it comes to dealing with step kids, especially if you consider that the older a man gets the less likely he is to actually meet a woman without kids.

Here's the thing...when I came to Australia to marry my wife I knew she had two boys from her former partner. I knew there would be issues and dramas and I was alright with that because I loved her. That has not prevented me from having some real trouble accepting situations. Presently her 13 year old lives with us while her 19 year old is under his father's care. We have two children together a 2 year old and a 10 week old. To me it seems like the wife's former partner just wants to play Santa Claus and be a buddy rather than be a dad. Bringing problems with his son to his attention is treated as a major inconvenience. Getting him to discipline his kids is next to impossible. He sees his 13 year old every Wednesday for tea and every other weekend. For the most part he pays his support consistently but recently didn't pay a dime for nearly 6 months. He's had his other boy 16 living with him for almost two years but he is now in a relationship with a woman who must keep his balls in a jar in the cupboard under lock and key because he refuses to stand up to her. Now he is desperately trying to pawn the care of his now 19 year old with Aspergers Syndrome off on us.

I have 2 young children of my own to consider. Under normal circumstances this would be difficult enough but I have some serious problems with having to clean up the mess this guy has made while he skates merrily off into the sunset.

The 13 year old is a spoiled, selfish, rude and disrespectful brat who develops an extremely emotional reaction every time he hears the word "no" or has boundaries placed upon him. Here's and example..a while back he got in trouble at school because he called a little girl a whore! When we brought this to his BF's attention his response was simply "where'd you hear that". Had I not made a stink about it, had a major fight with my wife nothing would have happened.

Every time there is an issue with the step boys, there is a major fight with my wife. She says she's sick of the fighting about him. She becomes defensive of him when she is upset and agrees that he is trouble when she's calm. Her mother has even said recently that she wanted nothing to do with him before I arrived and we got married. Had I not insisted on implementing some structure, some rules and some discipline he wouldn't be enjoying a week long holiday with his Grand mother right this minute.

We have two small kids of our own to consider now and it is my priority! I feel badly, guilty that I just do not like her two boys, I feel bad that they got a bad break with their dad. I care about them and want them to be happy productive boys and men, but quite frankly I resent having to clean up the mess and am forced to be the bad guy and place my relationship and family in jeopardy because of these two step boys!