I have been forced to take everything out of the bathroom that is mine and hide when puke is here. She knows I don't want her using my things and has used things that I clearly marked as mine. So now I have to be inconvenienced because SO doesn't know how to stop her.

The last straw was when I found her eyeliner in my makeup bag which I showed SO. His reply? Maybe she got it mixed up. Really? We have nowhere near the same makeup bag nor do we store it in the same place. I threw out my makeup and bought brand new so I wouldn't get some sort of infection from her.

Yet another example of how I pay the price and they reap the benefits.

Ii have to hide my toothbrush!!!

Ii have to hide my toothbrush!!!

I had to lock up my makeup when we had to share a bathroom with SDs. The lock WORKED! DP couldn't understand the issue (buy them some of their own...what's so unhygenic about it?...they are just playing...) so I just put a lock on it. Done. I don't have a lock on it now that we have our own bathroom, and SDs are NOT allowed in there w/out permission which DP has been good about and I am all over if I see either of them in that area. So far nothing missing, nothing used or out of place for months.

As for the furniture...if it's yours, don't allow it to be mis-treated. My SDs used to use the furniture like trampolines, springboards and balance beams. Seriously horrified the first time I saw this (at a rental house with rental furniture) and DP, again, didn't see the problem. They are just kids....yeah, ones that destroy furniture, window coverings, walls, and floors. Once we moved out of there I didn't pay a penny for any clean up or repairs. And I'm damned sure that they are treating MY furniture well at the new house. Plus, they have their own furniture now that they are responsible for and seem to take more care with it.

Sounds like you have found two things you cannot bend on. Then take control of these two things.

DH didn't believe me when I told him so I took an exploding dye back from my boy, I think he got it from eBay, and put in my makeup bag. When princess started going thru my bag it exploded into her face and allover the place. LOL. It was priceless and shut DH up for good.

A.

In all honesty I'd get a lock on my door and be done with it. I am in same situation as far as trying to find common ground with s-kids, let them know you aren't against them etc and are there for help and advice but it's only when it suits them. The rest of the time they are robbing you blind and bad mouthing you to their non cohabitant biologicals. I have had drawers and personal things raided through, pictures of inside my bedroom sent to birth mum and all kinds of harassment! Jesus I have even had bank and credit card statements taken from my house! You've gave her more than enough chances and she has taken the p1ss every time. Get a lock and know your things are safe.

Me x

I've had to keep all my personal belongings locked in my bathroom for the past two years and now that the SD is at daddy's I can feel free again in my own home. It is such a relief. What is is with kids thinking the world owes them. We never raised them to be that way, but SD has been doing this for years and when I finally had enough and locked my bathroom she would sneak in when I was home in it was unlocked, despite having her own things! Pisses me off beyond words. I also found stuff in her room and closet after she lied to my face. So glad to be free of that negative energy now and not looking forward to having to deal with her again. Best thing is to keep you stuff locked up, they don't listen and they don't care as much as we want them to or thought we've raised them to.

Free range feral children grow into entitlement minded adults. Set some real rules, enforce them, tie a knot in the little lying thief's tail and keep it tight until she gains clarity or moves on.

Lack of behavioral expectations and effective consequences breeds what you are experiencing with your SD.

Good luck.

This is my first time on this site and I am so excited and relieved to find so many people dealing with the same issues that I tip toe around because my husband minimizes them and I feel like I'm walking on eggshells! We have a housekeeper once a week who often mixes up laundry and when my 13yo SD finds my things in her room she just wears them, knowing it's not hers and not even asking! And she takes things from my 8 yo daughter and lies about it and when I proved it, and was made out to be the asshole by doing so, she played all innocent to her dad like it was an honest mistake. I know better, she is pulling the wool over his eyes and he doesn't get it at all! And of course if I Pont it out...I'm the enemy. Ugh!!! I understand the protectiveness of your biological kids but how do I get him to see how manipulative she is?! He already acknowledged she lies but if I were to suggest she was lying it would be WW 3

Anna if you can find the answer to your question can you let me know too? I'm also in the same boat! I'm sick of everyone making me out to be the inconsiderate one when they are the ones behaving badly!!!

A friend (who was a step-mom long before I was) warned me that I should hide or lock away everything that is mine. She said that's the only way to avoid conflict over this issue. I didn't realize that I even needed to hide my toothbrush and my razor! Yeah, there are no boundaries. They think everything in the house belongs to them.

Those fucktard skids should be so glad I am not their SM - because I would go batshit crazy on them. And I guarantee that they would regret their actions.

Want to steal my makeup - wow it might mysteriously have some vile substance that causes acute pain mixed in with it. I wouldn't care if they went blind.

I am so sick of this too...Bet your SDs never stole your vibrator... :jawdrop:

I used to have this problem too, though it didnt extend to my underwear thankfully. My husband didnt care and didnt take it seriously. At the time I was trying to disengage and let him handle it but at some point I had enough of him not caring and barely correcting the behavior. So, when I one time when I asked where my stuff was and she lied, I went in her room, got the stuff and called her out right then and there and flat out told her I consider this stealing and I dont appreciate her lying to me. I think she was shocked that I blasted her and she never did it again. Well, once or twice a year she still takes something but she does not lie about it and will get it back to me.

I also tried the whole idea of buying her her own so she doesnt take my things and that didnt work. She just escalated and took more of my things probably in the hopes that I would buy her that stuff too.

Maybe it was the cats. The cats get blamed by DH for everything that goes missing off my desk. Funny how the missing and vandalized items always coincided with ss30's visits. I could see a cat thinking a thong was a sting toy