You are here

DH asked me to talk to SS14 about girls

mimi719's picture

Submitted by mimi719 on Wed, 04/17/2013 - 5:26am

Forums: 
Teenage Stepchildren

Are you fucking serious? First, I was in the middle of something way more important. I gave it some thought and told DH -

1. I don't agree with you on this. His grades suck. I don't think anyone should be encouraging girls (and DH and BM have been). I think more of his time should be off of the xbox and onto school. Yeah, right.

2. SS14 doesn't like me. He doesn't respond to me. He doesn't want to talk to ME about this. We don't NEED to get along.

3. (after he starts getting upset with me) Did you ask SS14 to talk to ME? No, you are mad, bc I don't want to approach him on this personal topic. We're generally just cordial to each other.

DH walked off mid-sentence to get SS14 and he did come up and did ask me about GIRLS.

(rolling my eyes)

I gave him my thoughts, all fair and good ones. I was sure to say that maybe the girl isn't responding to him, because her parents aren't okay with her dating someone with bad grades.

At least DH admitted he knows nothing about girls - not as a teen, not as an adult.

Rags's picture

Submitted by Rags on Wed, 04/17/2013 - 8:04am

There are many reasons why some young men do not engage effectively with young women. Maturity is a big reason. Video game junkies tend to make crappy boyfriends. Confidence is another big reason. Shyness, etc, etc, etc.... and the big elephant in the closet (no pun intended) maybe they prefer their own gender.

My own Skid was one of these kids that was more interested in using someone else’s imagination and living someone else’s imaginary life than living his own life and using his own imagination. Video games, Anime, Yu Gi Oh, Poke Mon, etc, etc, etc...... He spent almost no time on real life until he was 20yo.

Girls threw themselves at him and if it was me at his age then (15-18) with the kind of interest he was getting from the young ladies I would have been one very busy and happy young man. I had a great time at that age and dated broadly and often.

He had many close young lady friends and even had a couple of girlfriends during that time. None of which he invested any effort in an exclusive BF/GF relationship with. The moms of his two HS GFs would get frustrated with him because he really did not actively date their daughters and much preferred hanging out with the large group than one on one time with the GFs.

Your SS's BioDad and BM pushing him towards girls and pushing him to date is not a good idea IMHO. My wife and I did ask about our son's (my SS) dating life when he was in HS but for the most part did not get too nosey. Eventually he figured it out and is now dating actively. He is 20yo, nearly 21, and has been in the USAF for two years. Once he was out on his own, with his own space, his own life, his own income and without feeling self-conscious about mom and dad hovering over his dating life he stepped up his romantic life by orders of magnitude and has even introduced us to a few very nice young ladies he is interested in including bringing a few for holiday gatherings. He usually brings a few young Airmen(women) who are away from friends and family for holiday meals at GrandMa and GrandPas.

Your DH and BM need to back off a bit IMHO. You are doing it right. Also IMHO.