Broken Step-teen trend?
I have a question because I feel like there is a pattern here. My stepdaughter is only 8yrs old. However, she is very manipulative, plays the victim card well, etc. Hex also goes to extreme lengths to alienate her from us. She is already prone to anger issues and her grades are slipping. Hex has told her when she turns 12 she can go to the judge, and only come and see us on Christmas, not having to come visit us every other weekend. Right now that is SD's current plan, which is what she informs us every time we make her clean her room. I foresee that happening. Hex wants her special snowflake all to herself.
How many of ya'll have a step child that chose to live with hex, then hex got fed up with their attitude/crap and step-kid was sent to live with yall and DH? I can see this happening. Hex raises her to be entitled, and my DH's guilty parenting enables it. What if hex continues down this path of child centric parenting, only to be fed up with SD when she turns 16, and pushes her our way, saying "You were never there for her, she's broken, fix her"? And then we are stuck with a thankless, manipulative teen that hex raised and got tired of?
Did this happen to any of you?
Because, "My mom is a doctor
Because, "My mom is a doctor and she knows everything!"
Also hex is overtly hopeful. But even then, SD would have to have a legit reason, and "I have to do chores at my dads and I like my mom more" isn't a legitimate reason....
My best friend in high
My best friend in high school's parents divorced when he was 13. He got to choose which parent was the custodial, and which was the one he saw every other weekend and one weekday. That's the only circumstance I have heard of this "12/13yr old choosing" thing. I don't think SD can actually skip to court on her 12th birthday to say, "I only want to see my dad on holidays" and the judge will agree....
Ugh, this is my biggest fear
Ugh, this is my biggest fear with my SD8 too!
age to decide? weird, I
age to decide? weird, I thought that wasn't truly a real thing. I asked my lawyer for my state and kids can't "decide" its 50/50 unless you can prove GROSS NEGLIGENCE.
As for the "don't live with Daddy or visit Daddy" issues I hear about people having. I'm a SM, and a BM. I know my BM is trying to do this to her kids and I say GOOD! RUIN YOUR KIDS YOU STUPID B!
As for me and my Ex...NO WAY is our kids "picking" parents...I don't want my son choosing to live with Dad and having "mommy issues" and learning he can manipulate my feelings and get his way with all those threats, and same with my daughter...that's all I need a little girl in the dating world with "Daddy issues" who has learned to manipulate to get her way...
NO WAY NOT FOR ME! for me and my EX, You will see and be respectful to your father/mother. PERIOD!
Dear. Lord.
Dear. Lord.
I've been with DH since
I've been with DH since SheSloth (SD15) was about a year old. Shortly after SheSloth was born, BM decided she didn't feel like being married any longer, started seeing other guys, and kicked DH to the curb. Woman was a total b***h during the divorce...insisting that DH had to pay for it, that he had to pay out the nose in child support (more than his income should have had him paying), and very cryptic visitation schedules. Not having money for an attorney, DH basically just rolled and gave BM what she wanted.
Over the course of the next 12 years, DH was lucky if he got to see SheSloth more than once a month. BM always had an excuse...birthday parties, kid wasn't feeling well, etc. When we did have SheSloth, BM would call just hours after we left her house and just had to talk to her precious princess. After one phone call, the girl was crying that she wanted to go home to mommy...even going to far as faking being sick. Depending on DH's mood, he would either deal with it, or drive the girl back to BM's. The child basically ran things at BM's for years.
Then, SheSloth turns 13! She starts to have quite the attitude, lies constantly, and gets into other kinds of trouble. Keep in mind, at this point, BM has since remarried, and they have a young son together. First, SheSloth gets in trouble for possession of alcohol at school...in 7th grade! BM calls DH to come have a talk with her, and SheSloth lays on some story that DH buys hook, line, and sinker about the alcohol not being hers. Regardless, SheSloth has to spend the rest of the school year at an alternative campus for kids who get in trouble.
8th grade...SheSloth is back in regular classes. About 2 weeks into the school year, DH calls me to say he is picking up SheSloth and her stuff. BM just can't take it any more, and the girl is moving in with us. She isn't in this house a month before she is whining she wants to move back to BM's, and BM is screaming at DH that she intends to move SheSloth back in with her at the end of the semester. The next couple of months are hell, but during Christmas break, SheSloth moves back in with BM. It is only then that DH learns from BM that the reason SheSloth had to come move with us in the first place is because she was sneaking out, and got caught smoking pot!!! Oh, she couldn't tell DH this from the get go?
By May (still SheSloth's 8th grade year), I get that call from DH again...he is on his way to pick up SheSloth and her stuff! This time, SheSloth skipped school to smoke pot, and was stupid enough to post pictures of herself and a fat joint on Instagram! A kid at school saw it and turned her in! At this point, it is BM's husband that is saying that the girl has to go...and never come back!
So, we have been stuck with her ever since!! Every other word out of the girl's mouth is a lie, and DH just believes her about 95% of the time! She treats DH like crap, and treats me even worse. She continues to try to manipulate herself back into moving in with BM, but BM's husband is standing firm, unfortunate for me! Since living with us, she has been involved in another issue with pot, got caught with an e-cig, constant drama with the girls in color guard, lies that I'm sure are means to go have sex of some kind (see my other post), the constant terrible attitude around my house, total disrespect for my home (i.e., leaving her crap everywhere expecting us to clean up after her), etc. DH gives all the excuses...she doesn't know, she's only 15, etc. Bottom line, BM screwed her up (and DH didn't do much to prevent it), and when she couldn't handle her, she got dumped on us! Now, I have to deal with this person living in my home who is well on her way to making nothing of herself, and it scares me to death that she is either going to get knocked up or will simply still be here well after 18 because she is useless!
^THIS IS WHAT SCARES
^THIS IS WHAT SCARES ME!!!!!!! I am terrified of this scenario right here. Absolutely terrified. May God have mercy on your soul.
I am in love with your BM's
I am in love with your BM's DH. Awesome guy!
My SD (now 23) stopped her
My SD (now 23) stopped her visitation two different times when she was about 15/16. She and DH still talked on the phone but did not see each other.
About a year or so later, seemingly out of the blue, SD says she's not getting along with her mother and wants to move in with us. Really? After not wanting to come over for more than a year? She didn't really want to move in with us, we knew they had an ulterior motive but DH did not let on that we knew.
Oh, the stories SD and her BM came up with to get DH to say yes were rather interesting.
Bottom line, he said, "No." BM had full legal and physical custody, she could not make DH take custody of SD.