Another Sunday Morning
Another Sunday morning of SD15 "being rushed" so everyone has to face her wrath!
SD15 was made to take her shower last night so that maybe, just maybe, she could be ready when we were. I got SD15 up after I got out of the shower. I still had to scrub my face, brush my teeth, put on my makeup, dry and straighten the curly thick mess of hair I have, get dressed, and deal with the dogs before we leave (and they always take forever to do their thing). All SD15 has to do is wash her face, brush her teeth, brush her hair, put on makeup, and get dressed! I do all my stuff, and DH and I are ready to go. SD15 is dressed, but is still putting on makeup. She hasn't put on shoes yet. So DH tells her we are leaving now, so instant fit about being rushed! She collects her shoes and purse, and stomps out to the car barefooted...slamming everything in the car...including my door! As DH tries to get to the bottom of SD15's time management problem...because he has finally realized that there is no reason she can't do less in the time it takes me to get ready, SD15 complains that she couldn't find anything to wear! Really? The girl who has more clothing than the two of us combined? Had to give DH props at this point! "Really? Then you need to hang up all of your clothes so you can see what you have instead of spending an hour digging through piles!"
I highly doubt she spent that much time looking for clothes! She tends to wake up and get straight on the phone and tablet! I can promise you...she sat around for at least 30 minutes before even starting to get ready! Wonder how many school days she's going to miss when I start working at a gym in the early morning?
SDstb13 still wasn't out of
SDstb13 still wasn't out of bed at noon. I finally went to DH and told him to get the key to her door and open it. He insisted she was awake, just in her room playing. Um no, she was on her tablet until prob 3 or 4am and was sleeping at 12noon. Sure enough he opens the door, and this sleepy-eyed kid lifts her head from her pillow. I told her to "Party like a Rock Star!" LOL DH got her ass out of bed and made sure she did her chores.
Sure enough, a little while ago she is sitting in her room with the tablet again. I can't wait until school starts and DH sees it fit to shut that crap down. He just won't do it now because it's summer.
Oh and SDstb13 moves about as fast as a tree snail.
~ Moon
@Marie...Taking away the
@Marie...Taking away the devices would be an awesome idea, outside of DH never going for it! I've proposed this to him before when SD15 didn't want to wake up for school during the school year because she was up late chatting with friends. I told him he needed to take the devices away at night, but he wasn't hip to it. As usual...what princess wants, princess gets.
@Bark...OMG...SD15 moves slower than a tree snail! Whenever DH says that SD15 will have something done in a certain amount of time, I have to ask if that is real time, or SD15 time...because in SD15 time, it is obvious that 1 minute = 10 minutes real time.
The day ended on a note of total drama! SD15 is in super-punish-BM mode! BM texted DH about SD15 having a profile on meetme.com...which she was forbidden to have. DH asks SD15 about it, and SD15 denies that she still has the profile...claims she deleted it and the app from her tablet when she was told to. All this was playing out in front of me in the TV room. So then, SD15 sends BM this long text telling BM that she needs to stop causing drama, etc. and reads it out loud to DH. I'm sitting there thinking, "Are you serious? I don't care if she is a nut case or not...that is still your mother, and you need to speak to her with respect!" DH just laughs the text off, and about 5 minutes later asks SD15 if BM replied. This starts the next hour of SD15 reading out texts that are going back and forth between her and BM...a rather nasty argument...and DH just playing along! ARE YOU KIDDING ME? Not cool! So yeah...the battle between SD15 and BM rages on, which means the girl will not be out of this house any time soon! I personally think DH is just eating it up because SD15 likes him more than BM right now, but still not right that he is letting SD15 talk to her mother that way!
overwhelmingly it seems that
overwhelmingly it seems that us steps know the common sense approach to dealing with these out of control kids. the problem is the parents of these kids dont want to do it!
i mean duh, take away the devices at night to avoid a problem in the morning! Of course! But the dads (and in my case the mom as well) dont want to do this!
I flat out had my fiance tell me that he does "not believe in punishments or consequences for behaviors".
Tell me about it! It is like
Tell me about it! It is like it's all a game to them! Like the whole thing with BM last night and the text messages. DH had a responsibility to tell SD15 that she had to show her mother some sense of respect, regardless of what she thought about the woman. However, instead, he was like a teenager himself, getting wrapped up in the drama and acting like he was actually happy that SD15 was saying such things about BM!! I felt sick to my stomach the whole thing...seriously! Now, I do have to admit, what I heard in the text messages, BM was acting rather childish herself...at one point calling SD15 a traitor because SD15 had said in a text that she was having a fun night with her dad and BM was ruining it. Of course, anyone sitting where I was would be able to see why SD15 is as dysfunctional as she is!
That is so damned pathetic!
That is so damned pathetic! Your DH is acting like an immature asshole and he needs to wake up to hiself. No wonder your SD has no respect for either him or her Mom! He continues to act like this, and he'll NEVER hve her respect - EVER. She will treat him like shit as she grows older and his opinions won't matter one iota to her now or ever. She will dictate to him and he will take it. Massive passion killer right there if it were me.
I'd have an extremely hard time respecting my man if he continued to act like this.
Well, the BM to my Skids died
Well, the BM to my Skids died last year, so they are with me FT. Who thought it would be easy? I keep telling DH that we need to take the iPod Touch and the iPad away from SDstb13, so that maybe she'll go to sleep at a decent hour. DH and I get up at 4:30am, so we are in bed before the Skids are.
Next year when SD goes to high school, she'll get a cell phone. You'd better believe I'm putting parental controls all over that device!! Damn tree snail.
~ Moon
i would rethink the cell
i would rethink the cell phone.
children do not need them and they often cause more trouble than they are worth.
Not my choice, DH says she'll
Not my choice, DH says she'll get one. She's excited already, but at least then I'll have account access and can set some boundaries. }:)
~ Moon
Getting SD15 a cell phone was
Getting SD15 a cell phone was the worst thing DH could have done! He got her a cell when she was 12...using the excuse that he could never get hold of SD15 because BM would not answer her cell phone and they didn't have a house phone. Shortly after, the bulk of the trouble started. SD15 has locks on her phone, but they have limits. Like...she can only have up to 20 numbers on her block list. Also, if we set times when she can't text or call people, they can still call her. The reason for this is that AT&T still hasn't been able to figure out how to lock out the world without locking out 911, so by law, they have to leave it open for emergency responders to call any phone back that may call them. So all SD15 has to do is tell her friends to call her after hour X when she is on "lock down". Also, if she is already on a call at the time of lock down, that call is allowed to continue.
But yeah...if I could turn back the clock, I would fight DH getting SD15 a cell phone! At least he is on my side about data...that she isn't trustworthy enough for data. He reminder SD15 of this last night when the initial texts came from BM about the meetme.com app and profile...he literally said to SD15, "Another reason you can't have a smart phone! You do dumb stuff like this!"
i think in your situation,
i think in your situation, where there is no BM, and the child is with you FT, you should have much more say in the raising of this child.
at the very least, if she's already been told she can have a phone, STRONGLY ENCOURAGE you husband to get her a basic flip phone that can make calls only - no texting, and certainly no smartphone with web access.
Oh, of course he's going to
Oh, of course he's going to get her web access. After all, she's into anime. Ugh. She has that now on her iPod Touch, anywhere there is wi-fi. Drives me insane. I hate to say it but I can't wait until the first report cards come out. She will have tanked a class or two and DH will have a reason to take the iPod Touch altogether 24/7.
~ Moon
Hope your DH starts watching
Hope your DH starts watching those apps! SnapChat!, Kik, etc...all kinds of stuff out there for teens to use these days that parents really have no means to monitor outside of getting on the teen's phone!
Just to be clear, SDstb13 is
Just to be clear, SDstb13 is NOT going into high school THIS fall, but next year. So I have a year before the cell phone nonsense. She's already on YouTube looking at Pokemon and anime videos, uses the iPod Touch wherever there's WiFi, but I know what she views can change in a wink. She's not a girly girl, not interested in boys or how she looks, if she's clean or not.....YET.
DH let her spend the night at a friend's house last night. She hasn't showered since Saturday morning. SDstb13 is very petite, doesn't sweat or stink, no zits yet, but she gets the greasy hair on Day #3. Yesterday would've been Day #3. They are going to a water park today and leaving at 9:30am lololol. SDstb13 has had trouble getting up before NOON lately.
I hope there's a pool with a lot of chlorine in it, so she can actually submerge in it and clean herself off. Ew. I see she took her toothbrush, though.
~ Moon