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Scatterbrain Stepchild

misspengwen's picture

Submitted by misspengwen on Tue, 03/21/2017 - 11:55am

Good afternoon all! Looking for any helpful hints or advice on dealing with a scatterbrained, 11 year old girl. She "forgets" to brush her teeth, wash her face, pick up her wet towel from the floor, her keys, put dirty laundry in the hamper, put the lid back on the peanut butter instead of leaving it open on the counter.... I could go on and on and on. Is it just her age? I am about ready to lose my shiz with her! :jawdrop:

Comments

Ninji's picture

Submitted by Ninji on Tue, 03/21/2017 - 12:03pm

Actions have consequences. This is what I have taught my skids. SS11 kept spitting in the sink while brushing his teeth but not rinsing the spit down the drain. It would just dry up and be all nasty. First time, warning. Second time, he had to clean the bathroom by himself. I told him that from now on if I see spit in the sink its 30 sit ups, next time 50, next time 70 and so on. He hasn't done it since.

He also has to empty the dishwasher everyday after school. He got two warning. Then I told him next time he forgets, he gets to clean the kitchen by himself after dinner. He hasn't forgotten since.

It doesn't always work, but he knows that he will have to face the consequences. Also, I don't make threats that I can't/won't keep. I don't tell him that he will be grounded. DH thinks grounding SS is some sort of extreme torture.

misspengwen's picture

Submitted by misspengwen on Tue, 03/21/2017 - 12:18pm

Yes!!! These are great ideas. Grounding and taking the cell phone away don't seem to do the trick. So maybe some actual manual work will help! Wink

Is_What_It_Is's picture

Submitted by Is_What_It_Is on Thu, 03/23/2017 - 4:33pm

^^^^THIS!!^^^

I agree with Ninji, give consequences! My BD was raised with consequences for "forgetting" to do something so now at 16, she doesn't "forget" much of anything. My SD was never given an incentive (consequence) to remember and now she is almost 20 - and still FORGETS EVERYTHING! Dh and I had a long conversation about this exact subject - if you are never given a consequence or incentive to remember, they why would you ever remember? There is no negative action to forgetting. And it is annoying as heck for a 20 year old to whine "but I forgot...."

libbie's picture

Submitted by libbie on Thu, 03/23/2017 - 7:25am

Not always. Now days people just do what they want. This is an internet board and not a paper or email to a client. So if she wants to use non proper English who are we to judge?

moeilijk's picture

Submitted by moeilijk on Thu, 03/23/2017 - 7:46am

Lol! From now on, I'll picture you literally sticking your tongue sideways to be adequately tongue-in-cheek whenever I see Wala again!

Acratopotes's picture

Submitted by Acratopotes on Thu, 03/23/2017 - 7:50am

and over here.. it's Whala......

so who's right and who's wrong....

HL is part AFrican Biggrin

CompletelyPuzzled's picture

Submitted by CompletelyPuzzled on Tue, 03/21/2017 - 12:12pm

Yes, it is normal. I am living with two kids around this age. They are both like this. They are learning since DH and I are on them about it. But, they still have forgetful moments. Then one of us will ask, why didn't you do such and such? We will get a deer in headlights look and "I don't know" as an answer.

libbie's picture

Submitted by libbie on Thu, 03/23/2017 - 7:26am

Lol!

CompletelyPuzzled's picture

Submitted by CompletelyPuzzled on Tue, 03/21/2017 - 12:13pm

Dup

misspengwen's picture

Submitted by misspengwen on Wed, 03/22/2017 - 7:17am

I think it's a bit of both. Drives me up the wall! I seriously feel like a broken record because we have to stay on her CONSTANTLY for even the most basic things! Reminders help but you'd think it would sink in by now! :O

Acratopotes's picture

Submitted by Acratopotes on Thu, 03/23/2017 - 3:30am

call her to deal with her mess every time she leaves something open or not pick it up...

I went as far as taking the towel away.....then she simply just took clean towels, I started locking the towels away...

now she can hang her used towel up - and this after 5 years only...

Peanut butter left open - guess who will have none.. I left it open as well... she complained it's off, taste funny, I said not my problem I don't eat it... I will only replace when empty...she would complain to her Dad... he ignored it and told her.. it's fine.. nothing wrong with it.

misspengwen's picture

Submitted by misspengwen on Thu, 03/23/2017 - 7:27am

We have started doing that recently and continue to do so... no matter if she's outside playing, in the shower, in her room... She gets called to correct it. Sometimes she apologizes and does it willingly, other times we get eye rolling and huffing/puffing. Just trying to stay consistent with and hope that it FINALLY sinks in. I told her dad the same thing... she leaves the wet towel on the floor... all the clean ones get hidden so she HAS to use it. I think he sometimes thinks I'm going overboard with it/being evil, but how else is she going to learn?

Acratopotes's picture

Submitted by Acratopotes on Thu, 03/23/2017 - 7:41am

libbie - remember I live on Mars...... we have flies and ants... allot of them, I simply do not care, I don't eat it she does, if she wants to eat insect free peanut butter she needs to close it and put it away Blum 3

Acratopotes's picture

Submitted by Acratopotes on Thu, 03/23/2017 - 7:58am

no taste at all..... they are quick... if you leave your mouth open long enough they fly straight down your throat

oh with the heat wave - new ones arrive crane flies.... now those little fuckers bites