I need to vent and maybe get some advice from people who have been in a similar situation.

My step son is 13 years old. He has been a nightmare from the beginning. His mother also adds to the situation. Up until a few months ago she has harrassed us non stop until legal action was threatened. Yet now she torments us through him, although I feel like most of it just comes from him. He has the type of personality that if it's not all about him or for him he doesn't care or hates that anyone else gets attention or is happy. Also he is very materialistic and is constantly criticizing his father for not wearing brand name clothing or for not dressing the way he wants him to or not cutting and styling his hair the way he wants him to. He and his mother are catholic and he is going through first communion classes. So that's another thing. He will be upset that his dad won't go to church or follow his religion. We follow a different one and he has tried to get his dad to force me to remove my religious bracelet that I wear.

He is supposed to come over every other weekend from Thursday evening to Monday morning. But slowly they have been reducing that time. First they agreed for my husband to drop him off Sunday morning so he wouldn't have to get up so early on Mondays. Then they recently agreed from Friday evening to Sunday morning. Every time he comes over everyone is stressed out. He is constantly complaining about anything and everything. Especially since we don't want to be out all the time. He's used to being out all the time with his mother and going out til late at night with her and her friends. We will ask him what he wants to do it's usually to go to the mall, which we usually oblige but don't like to because of how many people are there. He won't do a movie night or be out in the yard with us if we are barbecuing or playing music. He wants to be taken to expensive restaurants or be in the beach areas late at night. We can't afford that lifestyle and also don't want to put ourselves at risk. He and his mother already do that by constantly being out with large crowds without a mask or social distancing. Her friends have had big parties where step son has video called my husband and he sees all these people with no masks or anything. Just irresponsible. 

He absolutely hates me and my existence. When I'm around he won't say hello or anything or even acknowledge me. I used to always say hello and how are you and try to ask him things but stopped after he kept ignoring me. He's rude to my family as well whenever they are around. I was pregnant last year and lost the baby. He told his dad that baby was never going to be his brother. He has also made rude comments about me to my dad and referred to me as a b**** and when we got married he asked him why he married a b****. He will sometimes bring clothes to his dad as gifts that he knows he doesn't like and won't wear and will say that they are brand name unlike the garbage other people (me) give him and then throw a fit when his dad won't wear them. We didn't spend any holidays with him last year or the year before that by his choice which we were relieved because he would have just been rude and difficult since he didn't want to be there. I have two cats and he hates them and always complains about them so they have to be locked up in our room while he's over. I hate doing that to them but it's also for their safety because he once cornered one of them against the wall with a mop and was shoving her and scaring her (she's a rescue and is super skittish as it is because she was previously abused) and tried to kick the other one when he was a kitten. 

Also, he and his mother badmouthed my husband to his family after the divorce and lied about many things and turned them against him until recently that many figured out they were lying and stopped talking to them. They torment my husband's grandmother who is elderly and sick with alzheimers and tell her things to upset her. His son told my husband's father that he never sees him or gives his mom money amongst other things which was a lie and we sent pictures of all the child support payment stubs to him to show they were lying. Whenever my husband is on the phone or on a video call with his family his son is annoyed and upset because he wants my husband's family to hate my husband and not speak to him to punish him for not being with his mom. He is a very malicious kid and is very self-centered. His mom and her family have always made him feel like the world revolves around him and that he is better than everyone else. His mom refers to me as a prostitute and speaks ill of my husband all the time. Recently step son told my husband that they are moving to New Jersey next month because his mom found a better job over there. I don't know if this is true because he is also known to lie and his mother hasn't said anything about this to my husband. We were hoping it was true because we just can't take it anymore. My husband says if they don't move then we will have to try to move our plans for moving elsewhere up. We were planning to move a few hours away but maybe in a couple of years and when the covid situation was better because the cost of living is very high here. 

He's tried everything. Being honest with his step son, having heart to hearts, yelling, and always step son says he will do better and never does.