Sd finally said it
Honey why are you talking to me like that? My sd's sulky hormone riddled voice responded. "because you aren't my real dad". Oh you mean the guy you see for two hours every 2 weeks for the last 3 years who still talks and acts like you are 6 years old even though you are 13. The guy who doesn't help with your homework practice your sports your speeches, who doesn't pay sh.t do sh.t, reads to you feeds you brings you to your friends gives a crap about your day even though your first answer is always " fine". oh you mean the guy who isn't there when you need someone to talk to discipline you with chores and music lessons bah
It wouldn't be as frustrating if my wife didn't say, "we'll maybe you need to spend more 1 on 1 time" As if it's my fault. I do all the dad work and put in all the dad heart and in the eyes of step kids their real dead beat father who literally talks to them like babies gets all the credit.
I literally get nauseated not sure what to do I just told her hey I love you and I'm not going anywhere and I'm going to keep being your dad.
I'm sure that was
I'm sure that was heart-breaking for you, but you responded with grace. I'm debating whether to cont a relationship w a woman who has a 5 yo, and it's posts like this that make such an impression on me. No matter WHAT the stepparents do, they will always be viewed as Less Than the Bio parents. The thought of being a Stepfather makes me feel like a Sucker. A Chump.
You did the right thing IMHO.
You did the right thing IMHO. You informed your daughter that you were her dad, would remain her dad and that you love her.
I too had similar events when my son (SS-20) would return from SpermLand visiation. For background information, I became his dad when he was 1yo.
It took me a while to digest these situations but my SS gave me clarity during one of our later conversations on this topic when he was in his late teens. He told me that yes I was his real dad and that I had raised him to know what a real dad is. He also told me that because of the the example I set he has clarity on the truth about his BioDad.. He provided clarity for me when he told me that I had tought him to love his father and his mother and that he would try to love even his SpermIdiot (my phrase not his) because it was the right thing to do and because his mom and I would expect that of him.
I know it is heart breaking when these things happen but your SD will come to the same realization in a few short years.
My son will be 21 shortly after his mom and I celebrate our 19th anniversary late this Summer. He saw his SpermClan for his last court ordered visitation shortly before his 18th birthday. The last time he saw any of them was Christmas of the following year when he flew to visit them on his own dime. None of them came to his HS graduation, none came to his USAF BMT or tech school graduations and none of them have visited him, ever.
When he does mention his SpermIdiot it is in less than flattering terms though he does lament that his SpermGrandParents and and three younger also out of wedlock SpermIdiot half sibs by two more baby mamas make no effort to communicate with him unless he calls them. They rarely answer or return his emails/texts.
Your daughter will need you more as she progresses to viable adulthood and very like leaves her biodad far in her rear view mirror. It is heartbreaking to have to watch your kid go through this but I have never forgotten that I am my Skid's dad as he has gone through it.
Keep up the good work .... Dad.
Sincerely,