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Question for Bio Dad's

Step Witch's picture

Submitted by Step Witch on Fri, 02/07/2014 - 12:30am

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Step/Bio Father's Den

Hi all
I’d like for you bio dad’s to answer a few questions for me, just to help me understand what you are going through and if I’m wrong in some places of my role as a SM.
I have a SS, he is 3 years old, a difficult stage. DH doesn’t give any discipline and I have to be the “evil stepmom” which is fine because the child has more respect for me than he has for his father.
What is your opinion on a SM having the upper hand in discipline, in decision making, running the household, making financial decisions, deciding what is best for the Skid.
It’s not that I’m taking it out of DH hands, I just HAVE to do it otherwise things will go downhill and I’m not that kind of person to just sit back and see how everything that influences my life go to the dogs.

Thank you in advance

Rags's picture

Submitted by Rags on Mon, 02/10/2014 - 5:26am

I am a custodial Step Dad and I applaud your role as disciplinarian and active parent in your Skid's life. We took the stand that my bride and I are equity partners in our marriage and by association we are equity parents to any children in our home regardless of the biology involved.

For much of my Skids childhood I was the primary disciplinarian. When he got in to his teens and the usual puberty tensions set in my wife had a period where she did not like how I was disciplining. I gave her clarity by telling her that she had a choice, if she did not like either my parenting or discipline of our son (my SS) then she could step up and get it done before I had to.

She did and things stayed pretty good for all three of us for the rest of the Skids childhood.

All IMHO of course.

Good luck.

usmc1984's picture

Submitted by usmc1984 on Tue, 02/18/2014 - 9:27am

I have am in the same predicament and it is hard at times. I am a lot more strict then my dw and she tends to give in a lot. It is difficult because sometimes I feel like I am over stepping with skids because I am not their bio dad ( who is a sorry excuse for a farher is lazy and isnt in the picture anyways). But someone has to make sure things get done and make sure the kids dont controll the house hold.