Father Bought A Dog
My stepdaughter had a dog at her father's house. She had the dog since she was very little. Recently the dog died. She felt bad so he went and bought her another dog. Which would normally be fine. Its about a month later though and the dog now lives at my house. She lives with her mother and me mostly. Visitation to her father being Weds and every other weekend. I don't think that her father should buy her a dog that we have to take care of. If he wanted to buy her a dog, fine, but I think it should stay at her father's house. My wife thinks I should get over it but I don't know if I can. I feel like this is a huge intrusion on my life. Ultimately, I feel like my wife is choosing the dog over me. At this point, I'm between a rock and hard place. If the dog stays, I'm resentful as hell. If he goes, they resent me.
Any suggestions on how to best handle this?
I would feel the same way you
I would feel the same way you do. It is rude of her father to expect you to care for an animal he bought for his daughter, without prior approval from you and your wife.
Does the dog at least go with her on the weekends she goes to her dad's?
My niece spends a lot of time at my house and I will let her bring her dog sometimes, but I sure don't want the dog living with me!
Ya beat me to it Dog
Ya beat me to it Dog person!!!!
My Dh is highly allergic to most animals, but when he was with BM, they had 2 dogs (A GSD and a Lab and a cat). His sinuses would act up all the time, plus he has severe asthma. So when we got together, he said he hoped I never wanted furry pets because he could no longer stand being around them due to the allergies.
Fast forward a bit and DD15 was visiting. We were bored so stopped by the pet store to check out their animals for adoption (I won't visit a pet store that sells anything other than fish/birds/pocket pets). She pointed out a polydactyl (just like her kitty in MI!) kitten and said she was going to text DH a pic. I said don't bother, he will never allow it. He was at the pet store within 15 minutes. He grabbed the kitten, rubbed him all over his face (yes, he looked like a total weirdo) and sat in the adoption room playing with him for an hour to see if he had any reaction. Since he didn't so much as sneeze, we adopted him!
DD named him "Ninja" and he'll be 2 in April. DH is always saying "I don't know why I let you get this cat, he's a big ol pain in the ass" but I know he's just joking. Came home early from work one day and there's DH and Ninja all curled up together on the couch. Oh yes, he LOVES that cat, trust me!
Almost have him convinced to get Ninja a friend...ALMOST
My ex insisted when the kids
My ex insisted when the kids were little that they needed a dog. He is asthmatic. When we divorced, he blamed said part of the reason was that I insisted on keeping the dog despite his health issues. Several years later, he got the youngest a dog to keep at his house (see below post). Go figure,
Well... My ex got our
Well... My ex got our daughter a dog one year for Christmas. She had to pay for half of it (nice "gift"...). A year later, he (and stepMom) decided they'd had enough and brought him back to the shelter. Yes, while our daughter was there. She came home, devastated. I did what I hope any parent would do. Tracked him down, drove 6 hours and spent $500 to rescue him, and brought him home. He spent a good 10 years with us.
Sorry. JMO.
Call the bio-father and tell
Call the bio-father and tell him that he needs to take the dog back as if he doesn't the dog is going to 'run away'.
Sorry, but I had to laugh.
Sorry, but I had to laugh. That's deliciously evil.
Dad gets kid a dog and sends dog to your place. Now, either you care for dog or you're a bad guy.
He's an asshole, but that's pretty smart. You know what else is smart? Antifreeze.
If by your "antifreeze"
If by your "antifreeze" remark you mean what I think you do (leaving it out for the dog to get into)? That is incredibly cruel. It's a terrible way for an animal to die.
This is from someone who
This is from someone who recently had a dog forced on her:
Dog goes!
Let them be pissed, the longer it stays, the more they get the idea that it's a permanent fixture.
I am now being coerced to get rid of one my cats (that I've had since *before* I got together w/ DH) if I'm going to demand my DH get rid of the dog. Um, there's a huge difference, asshat, I don't have to scrub my cats' piss and shit out of the carpet everyday b/c I'm not an irresponsible pet owner who refuses to house train them. GOD, I HATE THAT DOG!
The dog moves to biodad's.
The dog moves to biodad's. End of discussion. The dog should have never come to your home.
You can start seeding this with your DW and SD and let them know that the dog would be much happier at biodad's place.
In the end this is a non negotiable decision IMHO.
These are things that must be discussed and agreed before they are done. Any decision that impacts the other parent in a blended family situation must be discussed or it can turn nasty. Things like pets, activities that span the other parents time with the child, etc....
Good luck.