any advice from dads out there
you may have already read my blog on this, but here it goes....
the other morning i stopped in the house before going to work (i was at an early morning dentist appt) so me stopping in was unexpected to anyone in the house. when I went into my bedroom, the bed was empty - i was startled as my husband should have been there. i couldn't figure out where he was, looked in SD's room and there he was sleeping in her bed (SD was sleeping too). this is eating me up and really bothering me. i don't think that a father should be sleeping with a 13-yr-old even if it is completely innocent. i am overly concerned that he may have molested her either in the past, or ongoing.
since you are a father of a girl close to the same age can you offer me any insight?
my husband did tell me about a story when he was 12 and an older cousin (boy) made him perform a sex act on him and i know abusers are usually abused and that is what can make someone an abuser.
this is taking over my thoughts and making me crazy, repulsed, and worried about SD's safety.
now that I have stumbled upon this there are other warning signs, poor hygiene, grades dropped dramatically, dresses inappropriately (cleavage showing), extreme jealously of me, etc. Also, one main reason i am concerned is because this was hidden from me and only is done when I am not in the house, sneaking around = bad?
I did get another father respond with his take on my issues, but I need as much advice as I can get.
My hubby is here for this one- Heres his take
Hi. I have a 14 y/o daughter and as far as the bad hygene, wanting to show cleavage thats pretty typical for this age I have to constantly be on my daughter about this.Theres no reason to sneak around to climb into bed with his daughter, my daughter does still snuggle up to me during movies but I wouldn't lay down in her bed with herr- not because it would make me uncomfortable but because it just would seem a little weird.I would take this serious hope for the best and pray theres nothing to worry about.
If your SD is in counseling you should let the counselor know about your concerns, she(SD) may not feel comfortable talking to you about it maybe a counselor could get more information from SD.
I hope you're wrong.
Jeff
There is no reaon where logic does not exist
I have mixed thoughts about
I have mixed thoughts about your situation , first I have now a 21 yr old daughter , but when she was younger - I would have her over for the weekends and need to give her a bath because she was to young to do it by herself , but by the age 6 I had to let her know she needed to do showers an clean herself because of it being weird for me as well as inappropriate for me to be in her space that way any more , she would also sit on my lap to eat dinner , after a certain age its inappropriate for her & I to be certain ways anymore , I don't see a problem with cuddling openly on a sofa while watching a movie , I sometimes will walk with my daughter now and she may hold my hand or arm while we walk / out in the open again .. But as for me crawling into her bed , that's a touchy one , what would be the reason and does it make reasonable logical sense ?
Like you said if it made you uncomfortable then there has to be a reason you feel that way , its getting the information from them to see if the stories match for you to raise concern or not ..
Good Luck ! hope all is well ..