No, events do not revolve around the gskids
A few weeks ago, there was a fundraising event at a public place for a family member of SS's wife. Every time there is an event that involves adult skids, their families, in laws, or DH's relatives, DH gets a ton of pressure to attend so he can see the gskids.
A week or so before this event, SD keeps trying to call DH. DH doesn't answer these calls, as he tells me she is only calling him to tell him to go to the event that he already knows about. DH doesn't associate with this in law of SS, nor respects him and decides he doesn't want or need to go nor make a monetary donation. DH already knows about the event because busy body SIL called him about it multiple times, leaving him messages in what time, where, who is going, and he could see the Gskids if he went. DH was so disgusted SIL can't mind her own business, he refused to return her calls.
The next day, SD keeps ringing DH's phone at home, cell and work again leaving messages to call her back. DH doesn't. The next day, she calls DH's boss demanding to talk to him. Seriously, who does that unless it is an emergency, and it wasn't an emergency. DH is then embarrassed SD is calling his boss, so he takes the call. SD tells DH that he has to attend this event so he can see the gskids. Hmmm, event is not all about the gskids. Event is to raise money for family member of SS. DH tells SD he will not be going. SD is with gskid so she cannot yell at DH.
the next day, SS calls DH and asks him if he is going. Mind you, SS already knows DH is not going as we know SIL and SD keep in contact all the time and guarantee have told SS DH said No. SS then starts with, "oh, gskid blahblah is going to be wearing his new summer outfit and other gskid will be so happy to see you." Really? The Gskids SS is talking about are too young to even know what a grandparent is, except for maybe one of them. Again, this is an event for SS's i law, not a gskid event. Ugh. DH tell SS "I told SD I'm not going and am telling you I am not going."
It blows my mind, there is no mention from SIL or adult skids this event is for helping to raise money for someone. They make this and any other event, wedding, funeral, party, etc. all about the gskids, what the gskids are wearing or a photo op for gskids with DH.
The day of the event, SD, spouse and gskids leave the event and go to DH's work right before DH's quitting time to try and get DH to leave with them to go back to the event. DH says to them, "I am sick of you telling me what to do." After SD and spouse tell DH he needs to go. This is after he told her already he wasn't going. SD never has taken NO for an answer. She has always been so pushy and has brainwashed DH's SIL and other family members it's all my fault DH doesn't go to events when skids are at.
So, no skids, events are not all about your brood. Holidays are to be spent with family you WANT to be with; weddings are to celebrate the couple; birthdays are for the person celebrating the birthday; and fundraising events are to help the people the event is in honor of. ....and What part of "NO" don't you understand?
Well done to DH for standing
Well done to DH for standing up to his daughter- so many men are unable to do this and would be afraid of losing touch with the grandkids.
She does sound like a nightmare and just like my XOSD- who always thought everything was about her and her offspring. If TheX had stood up to his daughter as yours has done, we probably would still be together...
Yup, SD has always been a
Yup, SD has always been a nightmare since day one. She is a control freak and cannot stand when things don't go her way for her, her brood and siblings. DH doesn't take too much BS from his adult brood anymore. I think they pushed him too far into a corner.
Fairyo, I hope all is well with you. As they say, all things happen for a reason. I believe there are bigger and better things out there waiting for you. Your DH didn't deserve you. I would of left my DH a long time ago if he continued to let control freak SD, and SS's run his life.
It's too bad there are so many selfish adult skids out there who think all revolves around them and the gskids. They never gave a bleep about anything that happened in DH's life and they can't or don't want to figure out why DH doesn't care about what goes on in theirs. I guess it's just easier to blame Disrestep for that.
Things are not too bad in
Things are not too bad in Fairyland thanks- just playing the waiting game now as regards house sales etc. I do have moments when I long to be back with TheX, in the old days before XOSD re-claimed him- but, as you say, the future looks good for me and I have a lot to be thankful for.
I sometimes wonder what he thinks though, when he's on his own and those selfish creatures he helped create don't even care...very sad.
IDK, seems to me a whole lot
IDK, seems to me a whole lot less drama just to have acknowledged the first call (even simply by text response if he didn't want to talk) and say 'Nope, I won't be coming', than drag this out for the weeks it was.
If he doesn't want to be bothered by his children , why not block them straight out than dodge their attempts?
Do the grandkids live long distance that your DH doesn't have much opportunities to see them? Just curious as I'd think a one on one afternoon visit with a grandparent would be a more enjoyable grandparent/grandchild visit than weddings, funerals, fundraisers and whatnot.
Not saying the SD or any of the others should be bugging the sh*t out of the man, but just seems to me there might be better ways to handle the whole 'trying to contact' ordeal.
Calling bosses and showing up at Dh's work seems extreme levels for the skids to go to, but on the other hand, why not just block and/or acknowledge and be done with it? I'd think a quick 'go to h*ll' rather than 'catch me if you can' tactic would sidestep all the fuss and bother.
I agree.
I agree.
This might not have escalated if he'd said "go to heck" (or wherever) when he answered the first call.
DH doesn't normally take
DH doesn't normally take calls from the steps, as he does not want to be bothered with the drama that usually ensues. Not sure why he doesn't block them, never asked, don't care. He has said he wants to change his phone number so they don't bother him. Gskids live in other states, but some only an hour or so away. DH has no interest in doing things with them, as that's what he tells me. He is not the grandfatherly type.
DH thought after he told SD and SS "No, I am not going" once that would be good enough. They always call DH when he is working, so DH cannot really tell them off at his place of business. Who knows what DH is thinking, I guess his avoidance tactics = less stress for him, and for health reasons, he needs less stress.
I know, right, seriously calling DH's boss and going to his work. Sadly, This is not the first time adult skids have done this to DH. It's awful.