why am i left out?
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Ok, first day here, and i come in tired of being step mom...so to speak, We are not married but live as a married couple, and have been for about 3 years. Most times things are great with all of us, we do our family things and for the most part everyone gets along. Heres the problem tho.....
Everytime his kids want something, they ask him, text him, call him anything...even if Im right there, still will txt him to ask him something. They have LOTS of private discussions, and I NEVER know whats going on. Nothing about his kids seems to be my business, while my kids and myself have to answer to him. I get hes the man of the house now, but i should be the woman of it..not his daughter.
Is this normal?
I dont know if its "normal"
I dont know if its "normal" but I do know thats exactly the way my DH prefers things. I dont stand for it but he really really resents me for it. Anytime he talks to them and I am not around if I ask what they talk about he just gives me vague answers, if I push for detail he reacts totally angry and resentful. I have kind of let go a little bit by picking the things which are the most important to me. we dont give them money or buy them things, agree on visits OR them living with us without him discussing it with me, and he is NOT supposed to tolerate them bad mouthing me to him when I am not around. That last one most likely does not happen, I know they bitch to him about how much they hate me and what a bitch I am and I can only guess what my DH says back to them... hopefully its not an agreement but its not an impossibility, however most likely he just soothes them "I know I know" before attempting to change the subject, but the other two things (money and visists) at least havent happened yet. I dont like it at all and I know exactly hwo you feel but without causing a lot of arguements and resentments I have not found a way to change things. I hoep you have better luck than I do.