Stepmommy Problems
Okay so, I have never posted in an online forum before but I need to vent and I NEED ADVICE! I have been with my fiance for 4yrs, he has a 13yr old son and a 9yr old daughter.. we have a soon to be 2yr old son TOGETHER. My stepchildren have never had any kind of mother figure in their lives untill I came along. My fiance did his best but unfortunately my step children have been exposed to a lot of negativity.. things children shouldn't know about and heave in turn acquired some really bad habits.
-They disrespect not only me but other adults in their lives
-I legit have an argument with one or both on a daily basis
-9yr old acts like a baby whenever she doesn't get her way or when she feels im giving my 2yr old "too much attention"
-13yr old gives me horrible attitude anytime I correct him
-Both tell their inlaws that their father and i don't love them
-Of course i have the "i want my real mommy" thrown at me even tho their real mother has NEVER been around
Imm not really sure what i want to gain form posting here.
I rarely refer to my my step children as "step children" in my book I have 3 kids. 9yr old even calls me mom. I love them. I just don't know how to get them to understand that the disprespect they have towards me and others is wrong. I want to teach them to do better because they are setting an example for my babyboy and this may sound harsh but at this point I want my son to be NOTHING like his siblings. I was raised a certain way and I am trying to do the same for these children. is it even possible to undue the bad things that has been taught to them?? I want happy kids and to be able to go out in public without fear of my children offending somebody.. geeeze...
Disrespect is NO-GO in our
Disrespect is NO-GO in our house. It doesn't matter who you are or what title you have, friend or family, young and old. Nobody disrespects anybody in our home. Period. All kids have one special thing/toy that is off limits, but if you disrespect someone, you get a time out. If it continues, something of yours goes in the trash in the bin outside of the house. Kids have learned to quickly adjust their tone and their method of talking to each other and to us. When they fight over a toy I threaten to toss it and they've learned to quickly negotiate. I'm totally over feeling guilty about bad attitudes. I've thrown away halloween candy the day after trick or treating for lying. I've thrown away a brand-new still with the tags-on shirt for visciously arguing with me over what I'm cooking for dinner. And don't feel bad about in laws; that's empty nest syndrome. They're bored and feel entitled which they are NOT. OH, and the "i want my real mommy!" Dont' worry about that either. You don't buy kids candy everytime they say they want it. Apparently, even my own children use that between/against me and their real father. It's a manipulation tactic they will use on all parents. I used to try to console em, but now I just tell the truth: "You're stuck with me right now cuz the judge said so and I don't break the law," or "I'm sure your mom would be happy to read that in a letter so write her one and we will send it together, but write one to your dad first about how you feel."