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SS is a liar .. what to do?

Dcmom13's picture

Submitted by Dcmom13 on Tue, 06/11/2019 - 7:04am

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Parenting Issues

What do you do when a kid is a liar, but his dad doesn't believe it because he himself hasn't caught him in the act?

Long story, but twin SS's dad wants so badly to believe they are angels. One really is; the other is just like his mother, which is not a positive statement. He's manipulative, shady, a liar and a con artist, which is pretty sad for being only 10.

If I point out negative things about SS, dad gets upset. Do I just disengage and let him roll his dad constantly?

ishouldrun's picture

Submitted by ishouldrun on Tue, 06/11/2019 - 8:33am

I've been in the same situation for the past 6 years.  A year ago I decided to follow the advice of the wise people here and just disengaged.  If you point out his lies, you are the bad guy who hates his child.  My SO is finally starting to see his son for what he really is.  The hardest part is when they do start to see it, they will want to talk about it and despite how much the words "I told you so" want to come out of your mouth, you can't let them.  Just this morning he made a statement about how he feels he is parenting out of guilt and how his son uses him.  I did not offer any reply just changed the subject.  He is starting to see it but it has taken a long, long time.  Given enough rope, the kid will hang himself with his lies.

tog redux's picture

Submitted by tog redux on Tue, 06/11/2019 - 8:41am

Yep, let him get fooled by his own kid. Sooner or later, Good Twin is going to blow his brother in and DH will look like an idiot. You just stay out of it. 

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Submitted by Aniki-Moderator on Tue, 06/11/2019 - 12:12pm

Definitely disengage AND stay away from the liar. DO NOT be alone with him at any time. Let Disney Dad deal with him.

HermosaVogue's picture

Submitted by HermosaVogue on Thu, 06/13/2019 - 4:56pm

This is a recipe for disaster. It’s a parents responsibility to use their experience to make reasonable judgements about what happened and act accordingly. If kids know lying works and will get them out of trouble, they will do it. Believe me. My SS’s BM parents this way and it has resulted in disaster. As the kids get bigger, so do the lies. If your partner can intervene and try to change the behaviour now, he needs to do that. But no one really can except the parents through consistent parenting.