Should we be concerned?
DH and I were recently questioned by BM how often SS (5 years old) was wetting the bed at night… DH and I were very thrown by this question since he has been potty trained since he was about 2.5. I cannot even remember the last time he’s had an accident at night or in general. DH and BM share 50/50 custody, so he spends an equal amount of time in both places.
SS has always had two very different behavior styles at our house and at BMs house. I’ve never thought much of it because she has zero discipline at her house and all he has to do is throw a fit and he can get whatever he wants from her. At our house we have structure and rules, etc. and he does very well. BM said he is wetting the bed at least once a week or every other at her house, so I guess I don’t know if this is something we should be concerned about or not. We have never had any issues with him wetting the bed, except in the first few weeks of potty training. Now I know it’s not unusual for a five year old to have accidents, I just find it odd that they are only at her house. Is he just being lazy because he knows he can get away with it, or is there something more to it?
Hmm...That is odd. My BS is 5
Hmm...That is odd. My BS is 5 and he'll wet his bed maybe - oh - once every six months? I honestly can't remember the last time he wet his bed. Now SS sleeps over at Grandma and Granpa's (my folks) house every other weekened and he has never had an issue.
Like you, we have structure in our home. We have a bedtime routine (bath, change into PJ's, small glass of milk, etc). SS will lie in bed for about ten minutes and will tell me has to go to the washroom. So that's his last "emptying the bladder" for the night. At my folks house, they follow the same kind of routine.
So without knowing all the details, I think part of the problem BM is having is the lack of structure at her house.
I don't think that night time
I don't think that night time wetting has anything to do with being lazy (IF he is actually asleep when it happens, not awake and just decides not to get up), but rather that it could be that he is drinking fluids right up until he goes to bed or that he's not using the bathroom right before he goes to bed. If BM is a pushover and won't make sure she limits his intake before bed, that might be why.
Like you said, it's not unusual for a 5 year old to have accidents, and it's not unusual for them to not be consistently dry either. But, since he's dry at your house, that says to me that she is being a lazy parent.
My son was having accidents
My son was having accidents until he was about 6. The pediatrician said up until the age of 7 they don't worry about it. It could be from being overtired (maybe BM lets him stay up later than you?). If you are concerned talk to the Dr at his next appointment.
Sounds like she's either not
Sounds like she's either not monitoring his fluid intake before bed or not making sure he empties out before bed.
Thanks for the advice
Thanks for the advice everyone!
I always worry (probably a little too much) about him growing up in two completely different environments and how thats going to affect his development, etc. It's nice to have a place to go to and bounce ideas off people who understand