My stepchildren and issues
I would gratefully seek advice from anyone in my situation , myself and my partner are finding it extremely hard at the moment with issues over his ex wife and her controlling behaviour, we have tried every avenue to please her but feel she is never happy with any outcome .My partner, son ,and myself live together but are due to be married this year we both did things by the book introducing our children slowly to each other, my son is 12 and my partners children are 8 and 10 and all get on really well to the stage they ask when are they going to meet again. The issues we have seem petty but never the less are concerning. My partner has always provided for his girls, been to parents evenings , sports days etc but she always pushes the boundries to any extent that she can which in turn makes my partner feel a lesser of a father, it is awful to see him upset over her constant negative digs and nasty comments about him being disabled for want of a better word towards him, she constantly belittles him via any means possible. she is even confiscating his eldest daughters mobile phone which we got her so she can keep in touch with us and for safety reasons when she goes to school. I honestly think she should be great full for what he does for his girls as he only wants AS ALWAYS the best for them, as i do know there are fathers out there who would not bother. My concerns are for my partners children not his ex wife.I do firmly believe that she hates the fact that he is now happy and will do her up most to prevent this either by making him have another stress related mini stroke, which means hospitalisation to which she is a contributing factor and will use this to stop my partner/myself to have no contact in this awful situation, I do think that the main priorities in this event are his/their children's welfare, health and happiness . Short of the message is that she begrudges his daughter's contact with him or myself even though we both have their best interests at heart,she constantly lies to what i believe makes her feel good but to me as an adult and a mother find this hard to understand her reasons for doing this towards my partner or myself, at present they are going down the route of mediation but on separate meetings but she feels that they need to attend together but i dont think this will have any out come , but still i feel she thinks she has a hold over him, time to let go i think and think more about the children's welfare. At present this is having a impact on our relationship as feel like its a 3 way relationship and have to ask her if what we do is ok.
We are having the same exact
We are having the same exact problem, right down to the phone situation. You leave out a lot of information, like how long you've been together, if she is in her own relationship, etc. But my guess is that she is NOT in a relationship, otherwise she would have him to occupy her time and thoughts. But she is bored, doesn't want your partner to be happy, and uses the kids to punish him. Check this out: http://www.hostile-aggressive-parenting.com/ You might find some answers there. I have been dealing with this for a year, and they are also in mediation. Not that it will do any good, but hoping that the judge will give my bf more time with his kids (of course, she is seeking supervised visitation...) I have to say that my situation seems to be calming down and the bm is looking for her own man, so I believe that helps. Can you set his ex up with someone? LOL
Yes, take her to court. After
Yes, take her to court. After 3yrs of crazo constantly keeping the kids from us, saying the most horrible things about my SO and myself via email and text. My So took her to court. He represented himself and after the 3rd time the judge told her he was sick of her and that he never wanted to see her again.
She has remarried but she wanted to control her new husband and her ex. My SO showed his kids her text and get out the CO and shows the skid that what their mom was doing was wrong and that he was taking her to court so that he could see them. After 6 months of the judge telling her he never wanted to see her again. I have blocked her # and my So only communicated via text. We follow the CO to the letter of the law. No changing, no being late etc.
Not my ex not my kids. I do not communicate with her and she is not allowed to drop off or pick up the kids from our house. My SO takes them back to her house.
She knows if she with holds the kids he will hall her back into court. Now this does not stop her from caling,calling, calling and texting, texting, texting, but he reads the first one, forward them to his yahoo account then deletes them. He responds only when necessary, otherwise she does not get the satisfaction of even speaking to him.
We have put her in a very small box and used her own words against her. We do not speak bad about her but always remain factual, we also do not hide her actions from them. There are two sides to every story and the skids need to know that their dad love them and wants them no matter what their crazy mom says.
Crazo is jealous because we are so happy and the skids love me. It drives her crazy. She always wants what she doesn't have and is never happy.
I wish you well..my recomendation is put her in the smallest box you can.
Thank u for the advice it was
Thank u for the advice it was helpfull, I did start to think i was the only one with problems but seems i was wrong so thank u again for all. I do no this wont go away soon but im prepared for all my partner and myself have been together for over two years, my partners ex does have a new partner not sure how long this one will last as his ex seems to ask her mum all the time for advice, I do honestly believe she does not want my parter (her ex) to be happy and will do all that she can to ruin our relationship but she is wrong so wrong to think that as i see her a weak and pathetic, she may have had control over him in the past but no more , she will constantly bring up his past to no avail we all have a past her included ,i was miss nice lady but now will be one step ahead ,i was brought up with the saying best thing comes to those who wait, i will wait as i do firmly believe she will run out of steam . How low can a grown woman get by quizzing her children over just about anything possible . Its not as if we ask for a a lot from her just a few phone calls and want to be involved in the children's lives but as per norm its on her grounds down to the t . My partners eldest child is clearly up happy with her home life with mum and her new partner to the point she makes herself ill when we have to return them to her it is so wrong that she is not willing to see how things are affecting her own children.I love my partner (husband to be ) and i just want a normally happy life but seems to much for her to believe this is affecting my partners health severely and is constantly a topic in our relationship of what to do for the best, our children come first in all to me that is the way it should be children come first and to be honest is affecting my life too
the BM's actions are
the BM's actions are deplorable! First, who cares how she feels about the divorce, the kids, the situation or if she is jealous her ex is happy and she is not... and so on...
Stop giving her all the power. Take control back and tell BD to do what he feels is best for the kids. Once they are divorced the BM cannot dictate what happens at Dad's house... althought this is a frustrating point, there should be some kind of coordination in rules between the houses.
Call and cancel the cell phone if she doesn't want to give it back to her daughter..