My Fiancee has twin boys, 7, of whom he is the primary custodial. When they were 2, their mother told him he could have them if he wanted them. They live with us, and visit with her every other w/e and one night a week. Up until now, I have said “I don’t know about her, because she is just a stranger to me,” whenever the subject of their mother is brought up. Their father and I have been together for a little more than three years, and thus far I have kept away from her and her (now) husband. Before the boys started school, the staff at their daycare complained about their behavior when their mother was involved. During kindergarten, both teachers had said the same, and mentioned it to the mother and her husband, only to get smart mouthed responses. At one point, the mother backed one of the teachers into a corner and yelled at her for calling a meeting in concern that one may not pass the grade. The teacher was phenomenal, and did not deserve it. On another occasion, they were banned from the property where the kids go to the doctor, due to some death threats made to the office staff over a bill. During first grade, the step-father tried to hide their backpacks from them before school, then yelled at them when they pointed out where they were and asked for them. Just recently, the mother took the boys to the optometrist, collected my fiancee’s “half” of the bill from him, then her husband told the boys they could not wear the glasses when they came home. The mother has been known to leave raving voicemails on my fiancées line over what amounts to nothing important. I could go on with instances such as these all day, but the point is just to express how they tend to behave. So, I have felt like the “stranger” route has been a good one for me. Does anyone have advice on how to conversate when the boys talk about her? I, unfortunately, have no respect for this woman, and have probably avoided being at least verbally attacked by avoiding them. I just don’t know how I will ever be civil to this woman or the creep she married. I just care about the kids, and don't want to say anything that might hurt, but I don't want to be a liar either.