Pay? DH and I have paid dearly through the nose already. Pay them for chores??? The SD's already have zero responsibilities and are incredibly spoiled with everything you can think of. So, thank you for a good laugh! They are entitled to everything we have and can treat is like crap all they want...because BM says so!

They are lucky to even come to our house at this point after the way they treat us.

Love :o

We pay $5 a week for all the "extra's".
And that's only if they ALL get done. If he doesn't do all the extra's, he gets nothing. The stuff we refuse to pay for is keeping his room clean, and cleaning up his toys.
The extra's are taking the trash out, cleaning up after the cat, yard work, dusting...stuff like that. But paying him for picking up his dirty clothes and toys and keeping his bed made? Nope!

So you're going to bribe the kid into sharing the chores of running the house.

I paid the kids zero. They got an allowance and could lose it as a punishment but it was not tied to chores. If they didn't do the chores another punishment was called for.

I wanted the kids to learn to handle money and I wanted them to learn that we all share in doing stuff around the house.

We don't really have assigned chores, but the kids are expected to clean up after themselves & help when I ask. I have no complaints in this department. Heck I wish DH minded as good as they do. I think they get an allowance at their moms, they don't with us. If they are really good & helpful we will do something special as a family as a reward.

I don't pay for chores. The kids clean our entire house except mopping and bathrooms every other weekend. This is an expected part of living here and I do not pay for it. However, IF they don't complain about it and their behavior is good for the two week period, they each get $5. This is a reward though, not a payment. For example, if they whine about chores, they get no money... but they still do chores. It also cuts down on the "can I have this..." nagging at the store. They have to bring their own money if they want anything.

>>>Blended families - Like throwing a bunch of perfectly good lives in a blender, whipping them like a cyclone, and hoping that whatever you're left with doesn't have to be poured down the drain because it's too nauseating to stomach!<<<
~Serena~

I have been struggling with this issue for some time. My SS7 expects to be paid for everything he is asked to do. If I ask him to sweep or fold some towels as part of living in the house (the floor mess is mostly his as he is a disgusting eater and leaves food all over the floor that is why he is asked to sweep twice a day). He asks me how much money he is going to be paid for it. I received an allowance as a child $1-2/week until junior high when it went up to 10 so i could pay for my own lunches. I would give him an allowance, but his behavior is horrible so I don't think he deserves any extra rewards. How do you address those questions? DH doesn't pay him for doing things, but BM gives him money for nothing. I dont know what to do.
I don't feel like he should be paid for helping clean up after himself. The only things he is asked to do is to clean up messes he helped make and fold laundry (he does wear clothes and use the towels). DH and I have discussed it but don't know what to do. :?

I don't pay for ANY chores! They live here too and can help clean too. Now I'll pay for special things that we don't do but a few times a year. Or if they want something they can earn the money by asking to do extra things like cleaning out my car or doing things that dh normally does or do all the laundry or cleaning our room. Things like that. But I believe that whoever lives here has to pull their own weight and that is to help with the everyday cleaning!

My kids chores are as follows:
All kids: cleans their rooms and does their own laundry, alternates with the kitchen, living, and bathroom.

My step sons don;t have to do their own laundry but they do put it away.

I clean mine and dh's room, bathroom, do our laundry and the step sons, I also cook, and do the deep cleaning of everything. I also do ALL the shopping for the house. And anything else that needs to be done.

Dh does all the outside stuff.

I never wanted to pay for chores...my BF did, and he got his way. Then it came to the amounts...he wanted to pay his 9yr old $10 and the 8yr old $9...I did not agree...they only came over every other weekend...I thought it was a bit much. I finally talked him down to $1 a year. I still think that's too much.
Chores are a part of life. I wish someone paid me for doing chores AND holding down a FT job! Ha!

I dont pay, I mean they live here too,they walk on the rug, they can vacuum it once in awhile, they dirty dishes they can wash them, they make trash they can help take it out..
I was never paid to keep the place I lived clean, I dont think asking kids to help keep their home clean comes at a price..
with that said, if we go somewhere and I have extra money I will say ok bio or step kid you did super for the past month or whatever, lets get you a shirt, or something..
I look at it like this, I am not their made, so they are not helping me.. helping me would imply that it is solely my job to clean up and do all of the house work myself.. paying reinforces that and makes it optional..(in my opinion).. I would rather have them all take pride in where they live, and have it done on a consistant basis rather than when the kid needs money
but every now and then they will get something random, sometimes its just a 2lt of soda they dont have to ask to get some.. or a big bag of chips they can eat when they want.. it gives them a little bit of power in thier own lives, and they are willing to do things all the time without being asked, told or paid. Sometimes its on a bigger scale..like the book bag they have been eyeballin for 8 months.. er whatever..

I/we don't pay for chores. IMHO chores are the child's contribution to the home and the child should be accountable for completing chores.

Neither do we use chores for punishement. That causes kids to detest chores which they probably already do.

Allowances in our home are tied to grades. The better the grades the more allowance the kid gets.

This philosophy works for us.

Best regards.

i do all the inside chores and dh does most of the outside chores (i have pool duty, outside windows and vinyl fence and sometimes mow)... skids are only required to fold & put away their clothes, clean their room on occassion..... ss10 is required to put his pissy diaper in a separate plastic bag before depositing his garbage can and removing his pissy sheets if he wants them washed. so chore money isn't really an issue here at this time.

we dont pay for grades either, they need to do good to pass, if they dont they fail.. money shouldnt be a factor..jmo.
although I wish I was one of the kid who got paid for grades and housework..lol
Thekids have asked to be paid for these things, we told them that we will pay for those things, but when they wanted gas for their 4 wheelers, a pk of gum, or even to rent a movie, etc(all the extra stuff) they would have to pay for it themselves.. they decided that getting 5-10 a wk was not worth all the things they get for what the consider free now..

OT ~ off maux's post

my dad is an anal neat freak ~~ he always said i just made lines in the carpet when i vacuumed.... i had a boyfriend (who my parents loved) and he would come vacuum so i could go out.... my dad would always say i know super bf did this, but it didn't matter as long as it was done to perfection...

don't know why i had to add this story, but it always makes me laugh!

my mom would have "family meetings", they sucked, it was a full day of cleaning cleaning cleaning.. everyone had a bucket with supplies..washing the baseboards behind the furniture is really not a job for a 10 yr old.. lol..
My sisters and I were expect to do jobs and do them right, if we tried to "1/2 ass" them we had to start all over..
we got paid by having cable, and I remember when we got the long phone cord (for privacy), getting our hair done, having friends over... etc..

DD is 4. At this point she LOVES to help out around the house--(notice I said "at this point"). We don't pay for this work. She will be given loose change now and again to put in her piggy banks, but that's it..it isnt chore related. However, she comes to work with me (at a family owned veterinarian) and helps with things there and my brother gives her some money for that.

My SS is 6 and the only thing he's responsible for (other than picking up after himself) is throwing out the trash. My boyfriend and I don't "pay" him with money, but with toys and video games. I think it's not about teaching him the value of money, but the value of the things he owns. He gets so many toys and video games that he's not even spoiled. I don't know how that happened. He's never cried at a store begging for a toy that we won't get him. He just thinks "they'll get me something else anyway if I'm good". Great kid.

Thinking of changing my ways...

DH and I currently pay SS8 $1/chore (pick up toys, make bed, clean up video games and books, clean room, clean his bathroom). I have $15 going into an account just for him for when he gets older because BM is terrible with money management. He only comes over every other weekend so it's not a strain on our finances.

Anyways, I'm pretty strict on the $1/chore - if it's not done or half-assed, he doesn't get it. Our main goal in doing this was to help him understand you have to work to make money to get the things you want/need. He has a wallet and when he's with us, if we go somewhere, he will bring his wallet along in case he wants something. We feel this helps him also learn money management, the power of a dollar, and how to make change.

He does help with other things but its generally not without a little prodding but that may be just an age thing.

In the summer I typically pay 5.00 a week for their standard chores (not rooms)-but they would each be assigned a chore every day-if they completed them all at the end of the week they would get 5.00. If I have extra chores that need to be done-then I typically pay pretty well for those. Our house is on the market so at times I need to do really quick but very thorough house cleanings and at times, they've done the majority of the work. I will offer 10.00 or 15.00 on top of their regular money for whoever chooses to do it-alot of times they chose to split the work and the money. They are 12, 11, and 8. during school year, I dont do allowances-they just dont do enough work-in between their activities, homework, and earlier bedtimes they can't consistently do their chores-so I just might pay them for some extra jobs that come up here and there. SS 12 doesnt get an allowance as he is only here eow-he doesnt contribute to the regular household chores (dishes,kitchen,laundry, etc) at all-occassionally he helps dad in the yard. But he doesnt even pick up after himself so he only creates more work for the rest of us.

And I refuse to pay for grades. I would be flat broke anyway as my kids all get good grades. Dh offered to pay ss like 5.00 for every A, so much for a B-I flipped my lid. My kids make excellent grades and always have and never did he pay them-so I told him that was a crock of shit and if he was going to do that then he owed the rest of the kids some mighty big back pay checks.

I pay $ 4 for each, and I think that the inflated price!

countertop refinishing pictures

IN our house, we pay for grades - weekly. It helps to have teachers that update things online. For the elementary school kids who only get behavior grades that is what it is based on. We decided on this because that is their job as a kid - to go to school and get good grades. We go to work every day, and most of us will work harder if we know there is a bonus at the end of a job. Same for them. They work harder for 100% on tests as they get a bonus for it. Now, SS13 can only earn $6 per week plus bonuses for tests - he can also lose $ for getting a behavior write up or suspended.

We also expect everyone to help clean the house. Their rooms are their responsibility - vacuuming, dusting weekly, beds made daily and rooms picked up before meals. They do a great job with that. We *try* to clean for 15 minutes a day - everyone gets a project in a room. It helps keep the marathon cleaning sessions to a minimum and everyone seems much happier that it lasts a short period of time. Cleaning the house is part of life.

DH and I do NOT pay for chores or grades. It's never even been discussed. I consider "chores" a part of growing up - there's always stuff you have to do that you don't get rewarded for, so why set that precedent? The rules of the house include keeping the room/bathroom clean, put dirty dishes/cups/utensils in the sink, throw trash away. That's all part of being a responsible person.

I think paying for grades is silly. Good grades are expected. When SS gets a bad grade, he loses privileges (watching TV, playing video games, etc). Excellent grades have special rewards attached to them, usually something he really wants (a guitar, for example), but he has to maintain excellent grades to get it...and so far he hasn't done it.

ZERO...they are part of this family!

I agree. The only payment our kids get for chores is that the lights turn on when they flip the switch, the water comes out of the faucet when they turn it on, and when they go to the refrigerator there is food in it. Chores are just about the only way that kids can contribute to the household, so that's what they do. Remember those 5 and 6 year old boys and girls that had to milk the cows and feed the horses back in the day before they went to school every day (OMG INCLUDING WEEKENDS!)? I'm pretty sure they didn't get paid either. Also, paying a kid to do chores gives him the option of not doing them, thus not getting paid. Doing or not doing chores in my house is not an option. My DW thinks I'm a little too hard on the kids, and that's fine. I do as much or more around the house than anyone, and I won't live in a dirty house.