Help. My soon-to-be stepdaughter controls me!

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Here's the deal. I'm about to get married. My future wife has a little girl whose six. She's the cutest girl in the world. However, she owns me. She disrespects me. I think that some of it is my own fault. I try to play with her but she crosses the line. I'm a push over but I don't know if I'm aloud to put my foot down. I'm not her father. She has a great father. What should I do? We are going to break up because of this. My future wife can't handle how her daughter treats me. She can't handle us three together because of the disrespect that the daughter shows me. Help me. I love this woman and I love the daughter.

Just because she has a great

Just because she has a great father doesn't mean you can't be a great stepfather to her. Loving a child means setting limits, establishing boundaries, enforcing rules and meting out punishments as needed. You and your future wife need to sit down together and decide what will be the rules in your home and what the punishments will be for breaking those rules. You need to commit 100% to backing each other up when it comes to discipline issues and you need to communicate your new discipline plan with your future SD so that she knows what is expected of her and what to expect from BOTH of you. You're going to have to ease into it. The first time I had to discipline my skids was very odd. I think they were just as surprised as I was. My husband? He barely noticed. He was used to telling them to settle down or else. It was nothing new to him, like it was to them and me. When kids get out of line, their parents have to bring them back into the line. When you marry this woman, you become one of this little girl's parents. You may not be her father, but you will be her stepfather and not only are you allowed, but you have the right to discipline her if she disrespects you. I personally don't believe in spanking another person's child, but you can totally restrict her privileges, put her in time out, whatever works for her when she misbehaves. Talk it out with your wife-to-be and come up with a discipline plan NOW that you can follow without even having to think about it. You'll get there!

~ Anne ~

"Adjust on the fly, or you're going to cry."
Steve Doocy, The Mr. and Mrs. Happy Handbook

What Anne said!

I agree completely. Thanks Anne!

Most Evil

"Fortune favors the brave" - Virgil

The fact that you love her

Is a great start. She needs to see that love but also that she must respect you to enhance that love. As a bio parent I love our children to death but you to have disapline to create the balance.

Sounds like her mother already sees the problem and that is a good thing, you should be able to get her help and backing on your new "rules" for SD. Good luck!~

Catch xx
*Mean People Suck*