What is the point of this?
DH pays for all the kids extracurricular costs. However, it has to be agreed upon before the expense occurs or he's not responsible. He made it very clear that he would not reimburse her for cloths or shoes or equipment that she buys on her own (because she buys $300 worth of things then says "you need to reimburse me" uhhh no crazy lady) So, last month she sent DH a link to cleats that SS needed for baseball. DH said he would get the cleats and have them by the Saturday tryout. Meanwhile, she has ALREADY BOUGHT THEM and sends him the receipt and tells him he needs to reimburse her. Like, what is wrong with her? DH had ordered the cleats, they would arrive that Thursday then they had a "last minute practice" on Wednesday and she said "I was able to get the cleats so do you want to just reimburse me?" Meanwhile, he already bought some and they were on the way! Who has time to play games like this all the time? She already bought them, just pay for something fir your kid. Shesh!!!
Great! He can either return
Great! He can either return them or keep them for your house. I'd find another way to make it clear to BM how he wants it to work. Men have difficulty making things clear sometimes and a BM like yours knows this and takes advantage of his inability to communicate clearly.
He communicates clearly. She
He communicates clearly. She just doesn't listen "I will not be reimbursing you for clothing, shoes of any other items you buy on your own without my approval" she ignores him completely and the receipts come rolling in. He's not paying it. She thinks this will make him look bad in court. Lol.
"I did not approve you to
"I did not approve you to purchase the cleats. That expense is on you. Buh-bye."
Exactly!!! I
Exactly!!! I
Now he's got two pairs of
Now he's got two pairs of cleats, that's handy anyway. It helped us to have doubles of things so we didn't have to deal with BM as much.
And she wants DH to pay for
And she wants DH to pay for both of them!
Well, he won't be.
Well, he won't be.
BM, you gave me the option of purchasing them or reimbursing you. As I told you, I chose to purchase them, so I won't be reimbursing you. You can either return yours or we can each have a pair at our homes.
Exactly!!! This is almost
Exactly!!! This is almost word for word what he said. Only difference is their gear is their gear. Breaking in two shoes is not ideal. She bought them before talking to him so the expense is hers. Done.
True, cleats are different -
True, cleats are different - IF they actually play at a high level.
Just say NO
Then say NO. Practice makes perfect. NO. You can not deal with crazy. More you try the more you fail
He did. He just rejected the
He did. He just rejected the payment on our family Wizard. Explanation "purchase was made prior to approval therefore no reimbursement"
She will keep trying of course. I truly don't get how anyone enjoys doing this stuff. Who has this kind of time?? Lol!
BM cant literally force money
BM cant literally force money out of him , so pfffttt good luck on her getting the cash
She thinks this will make him
She thinks this will make him look bad in court. She's trying everything in her power to make him look bad. Trying to say he's late when he's not, trying to say he's not communicating if he doesn't answer her constant emails about nothing important within an hour. She said "SS wants to do baseball. If I don't hear from you within the hour then I will consider that your agreement and will sign him up and I expect reimbursement or I'll tell my attorney" HAAAAAAHAHAHAHA!!! He's not reimbursing her for that. Then she goes and buys shoes before discussing it (they were $80 btw) then asks him to get some after she already did so he orders some and then she says "I already bought them, here's the receipt" whaaaa??? No honey. Just no. She's losing it trying to make him look like he can't handle things without her. It's so pathetic. He can handle it better then she can. He just concentrated on the kids. All she does is concentrate on games and trying to "win"
Win her game.
It is the only way to stop someone who is this delusional, manipulative, and toxic. Document, document, document. While the failure to respond will be considered approval has its place and can be an effective strategy, one hour to respond is ridiculous and exposes her manipulative crap. Use it to bare her ass in front of a Judge.
Don't wait. Got to war.
I would.
Oh we are! She's out of
Oh we are! She's out of control!! She once told the therapist that it's "odd" and "strange" that we all came to watch SS's baseball game. She said "it's just very odd behavior that he would bring his wife and her kid's to our son's baseball game. How strange" She just tries to use words to gaslight people into thinking "oh that is strange" she thinks she's so clever that it will work. Lol!! The therapist was like "there's absolutely nothing odd or strange about that" she was like "well other parents approached me and said it was strange" Haaaahahaha!!! So stupid. That of course never happened. She literally tries to manipulate everyone
smh... she is an idiot.
She obviously misses the operative word in the term "blended FAMILY". she would have hated my family. My mom and dad were all in a GPs to my SS. They attended his games, visited him at school on family weekends, attend his promotion and re-enlistment ceremonies, etc....
She refuses to acknowledge us
She refuses to acknowledge us. We do not exist to her. She will not say hi to my kids. She puts on forms that they live with her (they live with her and dad they have 40/60) and under "people they live with" she will only list her and her other child. She will not put me on forms to be able to pick the kids up if they are sick. DH has to go in and do it. It's ridiculous. She is so jealous I'm embarrassed for her' it's so obvious and gross.
Keep building the box around
Keep building the box around her. You and DH go in and add him and you to the forms for pick up and ammend the forms to be accurate regarding where the kids life, what the schedule is, and the contact numbers for the kids when they are with you and their dad. The tighter you strangle BM by limiting her ability to manipulate, the more control you have over her and the situation.
Do not ever make the mistake of attributing any level of reasonablensess to her that she does not earn with zero incident performance for................... ever.
For many years after we married my DW would come down on the SpermClan hard and keep her foot on their throats (figureatively) until they behaved for a period of time. Then she would go with her caring perspective and take her foot off... then would in very short order go right back to their manipulative crap. If she gave an inch, they tried to take a mile.
So, she finally realized that the only way to deal with them was by applying a zero tolerance, total confrontation bring the pain model.
That is what proved to be the most effective in minimizing their crap, protecting the Skid, and keeping them in their place under the slime covered rock at the bottom of their shallow and polluted gene pool.
We never cared if they acknowledged us, we cared only that they behaved reasonably and when they refused we made it painful.
I get that it can be rediculous. However, you do what you have to do to counter the crap.
I recommend "Really? You are so pathetic and if you had even a basic level of intelligence and maturity you would be mortified by your own behavior. Grow TF up!"
Lather, rinse, repeat.