I've been on the forum for awhile and have gone through the gamut with my extended step family. I have three stepkids and hubby has a controlling psycho ex-wife. It has been hard because as a parent with my own child, I did not choose to be apart of a bad dynamic but more or less have been thrown into it over last 4 years. I am still amazed that people act like this. It was always dysfunctional, but mostly about money and ex wife always wanting more or feeling entitled to more. I think that is pretty normal though. I did not know my step kids very well, generally spent summer vacations with them and holidays as they live in a different state with thier mother and step father. I knew they were raised differently than I raise my own child and that in it of itself is not a deal breaker. I could deal with that, but it was not until my hubbys middle child moved in with us that all hell broke loose. This kid is sweet on surface but behind the scenes sent her mom txt messages of our family moments, listened to phone conversations and private financial discussions between my hubby and I and reported back to her mom. My hubby and I fought like crazy. She was mean spirited to my own child who opened up her life to be a friend to her. The deal breaker was when she threw out my asthma inhalers after I explained to her that I could die without them. I took her to therapy and therapist told me to send her back to her moms. She created SOOOO much drama. A child nevertheless. Meanwhile her mom wanted to control our household and would consistently say "if I cant communicate freely with all of you, anytime, then she should come home". She finally went home to stay and I cut off all communication with this family as its been my experience that some family dynamics are not fixable. Especially when you have a crazy ex wife who is not supportive. Now the only communication we have with ex is thru attorney and my hubby visits his kids on his own time. They are not allowed to be in this house right now. Sometimes opening the door to crazy people is a really really bad idea. You all need to protect yourself. Especially if you have you own children. They come first.